2 Year Twitterversary Statistics: No More Than 184,520 Characters of Inanity

After eDemocracy Camp 2, I was thinking about how much Twitter had become the de rigueur conference backchannel / session notebook / fashion accessory, which I didn't think was the case for the first one just a year ago.

That got me wondering about when I first joined Twitter, so I paged back in my archives and found that I posted my first Tweet on April 22, 2007, which was just about my 2-year Twitter anniversary when I first started this entry.

[This entry, incidentally, is unrelated to any of the current "When Did You Join Twitter?" or "How long are you on Twitter?" foolishness that's been going around. Also, if you hadn't noticed, I've given up my previous petulant objections and am resigned to calling Twitter posts "tweets."]

Getting My Twitter Stats
I was curious about my own Twitter posting pattern; the quick, easy, and pretty way to look at your stats of course is to use TweetStats (which I also did), but I wanted a little more granularity. (For example, TweetStats calculates your daily average just using the days you posted, instead of looking at every day.) So I decided to pull and crunch the numbers myself.

Here's my 2-year Twitter post count:

Click through to Flickr for additional notes by Patrick.

I signed up on April 18, 2007 and posted for the first time 4 days later. My posting was pretty much non-existent until the first spike (8 whole posts in a day!) from the Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture race on May 3.

I stayed primarily with phone updates until June 14, when I got Twitterific, and you can see a general trend upwards (I switched to Twhirl on June 25), with an all-time high responding to birthday greetings (March 26).

Pulling the Numbers
To get the numbers:
* I used the Java TwitterBackup 2.5 to pull the XML file, which basically has everything (it took about 50 minutes -- it does 20 per minute to avoid hitting API limits)
* As suggested, I did a bunch of find-and-replaces in TextEdit to clean things up and remove extraneous fields
* I then pulled the numbers into Excel, where I did some serious massaging of the numbers. This included fixing the year on the previous years' posts (in the process, I may have shifted some of the dates a day... damned leap year).
* I also added in the intervening days where I didn't post to Twitter, consolidating them to get my daily Tweet count (this is where using the FREQUENCY formula came in.)
* Finally, I plugged the numbers into Google Spreadsheet to get a pretty chart, and uploaded it to Flickr to get a nice, 500px wide image.

TweetStats gave me an average of 3.2 average posts per day (with a median of 2.0 posts), though my numbers for the entire period (counting days I didn't post at all) gave me 1.8 posts per day (median 1.0). I haven't done any deeper digging; Tweetstats has a good talking points topline, and I have the raw data if I want to look any further.

Thrilling, yes?

Tags: twitter, twitterversary, tweetstats, twitterbackup

Please Don't Shoot the W&OD Trail Signs

I guess I should give up all other pretense and just turn this into a skating blog.

I wasn't planning on going again so soon after my blister harvest, but I was in Sterling doing errands and it was such a nice day that I couldn't resist.

I started at the Route 28 overpass at about 5:45pm and headed west. There weren't too many people out that late in the day, so it was pretty uneventful. I stopped at my turnaround point, the Luck Stone Quarry Overlook, plopped down on a bench and watched the vultures gliding on the thermals for a few minutes.

There's a plaque on the bench:

"In memory of C. Wayne Tolbert (May 14, 1917 - May 3, 2000), an outstanding lawyer and avid cyclist who enjoyed many hours riding on the W&OD trail and particularly enjoyed this view."

On the way back, took a shot of traffic calming zigzag stripes painted on Belmont Ridge Road (they were mentioned on Fark last week):

And here we get to the title of the entry. I noticed something different about a "Warn Before Passing" sign just off of Smith's Switch Station -- a bullet hole:

There's also a dent in the "F" that looks to be a second bullet strike. From the back of the sign, it's pretty obvious. Nice sized, too:

Anyway, my plan for afterwards was to try Cheeburger Cheeburger (I haven't been yet) as something of a reward (or, maybe the skate was pre-emptive penance), but that went out the window and I met a few folks, sweaty and stinking (me, not them) at Jackson's to rehydrate.

The feet held up okay -- I'd duct taped over the pinch points and hotspots, and it worked okay. I guess I'm getting ready for next Saturday's Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race. Which means I'll need to get a new heel brake before then (it's worn to the nub). I'm also working on a PVC mini-Fig Rig, which I hope will be a bit more suitable for a full day on skates than the Poor Man's Steadycam (which I still haven't really used). So we'll see how that goes.

Tags: w&od trail

Bicycle Cleavage, Crack and Bonking: W&OD Trail Skate Report

Ever wonder why oncoming cyclists on the trail wear big, shit-eating grins as they whizz by? I think it's either:

* Desire to share the joy of being outside
* A kind of rictus of effort
* Overexposure to athletic girls hunched over their handlebars while wearing scoop-necked tops

Unfortunately, I didn't get any photos of said bicycle cleavage (which should actually be "bicyclist cleavage," but the other way sounds more interesting and less creepy) when I went skating on Saturday afternoon.

It was the first really nice, over-70 degree Saturday of the spring, and I went to skate my usual Reston-to-Sterling trek on the W&OD Trail. (I note that my phone autocomplete thinks I mean "slaves" when I type "skates.")

As I Twittered, it was busy, but not crowded.

From Herndon through Sterling, there were a lot of cracks that spanned the roadway, in some places every 40-50 feet. Some were fairly wide (especially when compared to a 76mm wheel):

There's a new-ish golf course just west of the Route 28 overpass -- where the hell did it come from?

Some of the bridge interfaces had widening gaps, and there was some subsidence at the edges of the trail at mile 24.5:

Lower angle:

Given the current budget realities, I'm just hoping they can at least slap some vinyl patches over some of the wider cracks.

Here we see some topped trees along the power line right-of-way:

The Bonking

From Reston (the lot off Sunset Hills and Old Reston Avenue, at the 7-11) to my usual turnaround point at Ashburn Village Road is about 18 miles round trip (throwing in a few speed runs up and down the western side of the Route 28 overpass). In retrospect, doing the full mileage for the first skate of the season was probably not the wisest idea.

On the way back, I started having some problems. The hotspots, which had been developing at the usual spots on the inside edges of my feet, had turned into full-on blisters. Big ones, too, since my feet hadn't toughened up yet.

The blisters altered my stride, and between that and just flat out bonking and hitting the wall, my quads started to cramp up pretty bad. With 5 miles left to go, I ended up having to stop for a few minutes about every half mile.

I was officially no longer having fun.

I nearly broke down and called for a ride a few times, but I eventually made it back to my car. It took a while. And my feet look pretty nasty right now.

I was pretty thrashed and almost bagged on a birthday party down at the Georgetown waterfront. But NewMediaJim talked some sense into me. Who says Twitter is useless?

Tags: W&OD trail, skate report

Easter Sunday in Koreatown

I went back up to the homestead for Easter weekend. Because I am hellbound, I don't usually make the trek back, so I didn't realize that every Christian-minded person on the Eastern Seaboard makes the pilgrimage up/down I-95. I guess it wasn't too bad.

After a lazy Saturday at home and Sunday services, at Mom's suggestion, we went to NYC to get some Korean food and look at the pretty flowers (alas, Macy's was closed Easter Sunday).

But the food was good -- we ended up at Kum Gang San on 32nd St. in Koreatown, NYC.

We had Bul go ki:

Shot from above:

More photos, including random strangers, and Times Square, in the full set: Easter in Koreatown, 4/12/09.

The trip home was just slightly-below average. Gas in NJ was $1.89 (cash), about 15 cents cheaper than in Virginia, which is par for the course. I made it back in just over four hours, though as I twittered, 95 in Maryland sucked, enough so that I did the 695 swing-around, taking the Key Bridge (which is actually a pretty nice drive, especially if you like refineries).

The drive gave me a chance to catch up on a few NPR Music podcasts, including the Heartless Bastards show from NPR's SxSW concert podcast. I also listened to the Liz Phair 'Exile in Guyville' show from The Troubadour, which was okay, but I thought the accompanying interview was great.

Tags: liz phair, easter

I Rarely Go Deep Enough

I'm talking about during my squats, of course. Mostly because I'm lazy and out of shape; partly because, for a time, I kept jacking my back at inconvenient intervals due to poor technique; and lastly because my right knee often makes funny noises when I try.

I'm supposed to be doing 20-rep sets for the next few weeks, which is a chance to work on cleaning up my technique, but it seems that the lower the weight I use, the fewer reps I can do.

I'm hoping this means I'm actually going deep enough for a change.

After my work set (which was more of "hobby" set), I finished up with 3 sets of 20 squats using just the weight bar (45 pounds). It took a lot out of me, but I was able to finish the rest of my workout. Well, most of it -- my body thoughtfully gives me a splitting headache just before I'm on the verge of throwing up, which gives me a chance to stop and avoid making a mess.

NCAA Final Notes
Now despite my earlier Tweet, the gym didn't have the NCAA Final on any of the TVs. Apparently I didn't miss too much, though -- UNC seems to have things commandingly in hand, and Michigan keeps getting picked, chucking up 3-pointers, and missing free throws.

I'm kind of grudingly rooting for UNC, if only in the interest of ACC solidarity (outside of Duke and UNC, the ACC had another weak tournament showing).

I had been going on a working theory that if you're Duke or UNC, you're not going to win a national championship unless you beat the other team at least twice (and it'd be a prerequisite, not a guarantee) -- it works on the Duke side, though leave it to UNC to not cooperate.

Finally, I'd just like to say that the overhead arena cam gives me vertigo.

My Brunswick Stew Is Award-Winning

[Update: 10/19/09: I am reminded by commenters that my photo was removed a few months back, though I'm leaving the post up for posterity's sake.]

I'm just going to pretend my month-long posting lull didn't happen.

A few days ago, a blog reader let me know that he was having Brunswick Stew (from a can) for lunch (via IM, not Twitter, which is how you're supposed to send your pointless lunch updates these days.)

There aren't that many brands of Brunswick Stew (from a can). I did an image search for "Mrs. Fearnow's" to take a look at the yellow-labeled can. Lo, to my surprise, I saw among the results a familiar-looking photo:

Yes, that's clearly my very own Brunswick Stew (homemade, not from a can) photo, as used in my earlier blog entry and seen below:

Naturally, I clicked through to see the image in use -- it's on the Product History page of BOST Distributing, the company that now owns the Mrs. Fearnow's brand:

Evidently, some content jockey (judging by the Web site, "Web designer" would be a stretch) needed a product photo of the Brunswick Stew (from a can) not in the can, did a Google Image Search, and grabbed my photo. (They rehosted it, so it's not hotlinked, which means I can't do any image-swap shenanigans.)

Technically, they're using my photo without permission or proper attribution (as with most of my photos, it's licensed with a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike), but I don't care about that -- the point is that they're using my photo of Brunswick Stew (homemade, not from a can) on the product page for their commercial Brunswick Stew (from a can), which is a pretty silly thing for a company to do.

Tags: brunswick stew, bost distributing, mrs. fearnow's

An Illustrated Shamrockfest 2009 Survival Guide

Once again, it's time for Shamrockfest, the not-quite St. Patty's Paddy's Day debauchery at RFK Stadium (let's see you top that, FedEx Field).

Hopefully, I will have finagled another VIP pass, thanks in part to this and previous years' exhaustive blog coverage of the event (that there is what we call a full disclosure in the blog biz), though I would have been going anyway, since I'm apparently the only social media type in the entire Eastern Seaboard not going to Austin for SXSW.

Anyway, since my AOL layoff guide was such a raging success (good luck, by the way, folks -- at least know that Rondy are out the door, too), here are a few tips for new Shamrockfest-goers:

* To VIP or not VIP? Whether or not you should spring for VIP passes really depends on the price you get (remember, tickets cost more at the door, though check Craigslist, too -- they're easy to transfer and print) and your alcohol tolerance. It looks like the main stages are a lot closer to VIP this year (see the map), whereas they were a bit out of the way previous years.

I guess that's my only semi-substantive tip. Weatherwise, the high currently looks to be about 50, so dress accordingly. I usually make fun of people who bring their own beads and trinkets, but I guess it's the environmentally correct -- green, ahem -- thing to do.

Other items that could be construed as guidelines:

Watch out for guys with axes

The bigger the hat, the cooler the action.

Suspenders go best with striped socks and flinty looks.

Did I mention the socks? Tights are also acceptable.

Mug management skills are crucial.

Just as in Irish English, "Pants" are rubbish.

Don't forget to get something for the ride home.

I know there'll be a good blogger contingent out there, too, which may or may not be an incentive for you.

See you on Saturday.

Tags: shamrockfest

Brunswick Stew: Electric Boogaloo

The title is a lie -- this is actually my third time slow cooking a Brunswick stew.

First off, it passes the spoon test quite handily (it's thick enough so that a spoon will stay standing up):

Passing the spoon test.

It's got some heat (due to the chili paste, some cayenne and Sriracha sauce), but it's not too hot -- just enough to overwhelm the taste of the stew, which unfortunately isn't very flavorful. It's also not as sweet or tangy as my last try, since I used less cider vinegar and Sriracha.

Ingredients, this time around:
* 4 chicken drumsticks
* Some olive oil for the skillet
* Cooking spray
* Handful of garlic cloves, minced
* 2 medium sized red potatoes
* 2 onions
* 1.5 cups frozen lima beans
* 1.5 cups frozen sliced okra
* 1 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
* 2 cans of corn (I used 1 can creamed, 1 can kernel. Just because)
* 2-3 tablespoons of chili paste (in retrospect, a bit too much)
* Couple of squirts of ketchup
* Couple of squirts of Sriracha sauce
* 2 splashes of cider vinegar
* The rest of a mostly empty bottle of Worcestershire sauce
* Half-cup or so of chicken stock (leveling out the ingredients)
* 2 chicken bouillon cubes (for extra chicken and MSG)
* Assorted powdered spices: salt, pepper, onion, cayenne, chili -- whatever's handy. Plus a bay leaf or two. Season to taste.

Procedure:
* Spray nonstick cooking spray into the crock pot.
* Heat oil. Start browning the chicken in a saucepan.
* Impatiently start chopping potato, garlic, onion.
* Inefficiently dash back and forth between the cutting board and stove until the vegetables are chopped and the chicken is browned.
* Add potato, garlic, onion. Place chicken on top.
* Add rest of ingredients. Place slow cooker on high. Go to bed.
* Wake up 6 hours later, to find that the stew has reduced, by bubbling all over the kitchen counter. On the plus side, the chicken has fallen off the bone, so strip the bones and shred the chicken.
* [Optional: Level off with some more lima beans, corn and okra, steamed.]
* Cook on high for 2 more hours.
* Book it. Done.

The taste is... nontraditional, mostly due to the chili sauce. I think I used too much. On the plus side, it's plenty thick

Tags: brunswick stew, slow cooker, recipe

Who Is Pecos Bill, or How I Outsmarted Myself Yet Again

Tuesday, I took my second shot at Trivia Night at Jimmy's Old Town Tavern in Herndon.

As with last time, my tablemates were quite good in getting us past the written-answer qualifying round, where they could use their Internet-enabled cellphones to look up the answers (although I did my part in the tiebreakers), and then clammed up to the point of near-uselessness during the Jotteopardy portion, where it was my butt on the line onstage.

After a slow start, I worked my way into first place, cleaning up in the American folklore category (notably, I remembered that it was Pecos Bill who used a rattlesnake as a lasso).

And I discovered that my teammates' true role was not to help me, but rather, to hurt the other contestants, by yelling out incorrect and distracting answers ("Paul Bunyon! Paul Bunyon!", which was wrong even for the relevant question).

Going into the final round, I had a slight lead, though not enough to place a safe, boring bet. The category was "This Day in History/Magazines", so I felt pretty confident. However, the question was, "On this day [March 3] 1923, this magazine was the first weekly newsmagazine in the US."

At first, I thought Newsweek. Then I thought Time. Then I thought, "Aha! Time is far too obvious, it's got to be something more obscure... like, say, The Saturday Evening Post!" So I went with that.

Of course, the correct answer was Time. Or at least, the answer they were looking for, especially in the "This Day in History" bit of things. (One might be able to make a case for The Saturday Evening Post, though it wasn't exclusively a news magazine.)

Anyway, it was a good time. Smoky, though, which is par for the course -- we'll see how the smoking ban legislation changes things in December.

Oh, and I came up with a working name for our Spring kickball team: Package Stimulus. We'll see if it sticks.

Preparing for Your Impending Layoff From AOL

Welcome! You've got layoffs: A preparation guide for AOL employees.

Welcome, soon-to-be-former AOL employee! I'm Joe Loong, graduate of the AOL Layoff Class of October, 2007, and I'm here to offer you a few bits of advice gleaned from my own personal layoff experience.

I hope that these items will help you prepare for your own imminent layoff, and ease your transition into the job market during this worst economic climate since the Great Depression.

This guide is primarily written for Northern Virginia worker bees. Employees from other locations and pay grades are welcome to add their advice in the comments, which I will integrate to the guide.

Things You Should Do Now
Hey, it's not personal. It's just business. Except when it's not. Regardless, whether you volunteer or are "asked" to leave, whether the layoff happens on the 24-25th of February or March or any other damn time, here are a few things you should do ahead of time:

* Update your resume and online profiles: Hopefully, you've been doing this all along, but if not, now's the time. Especially important these days is your LinkedIn account.

* Detach from your corporate e-mail address: Speaking of LinkedIn, Carles, an AOL alum now over there adds, "Add your personal email account to your LinkedIn account, and then make it your primary LinkedIn email. It is heartbreaking when people are laid off and lose access to their email, and then can't recover their LinkedIn passwords. Don't let this happen to you."

Good tip: If you were silly enough to register for any accounts or profiles using your corp.aol.com address (which you don't get to keep), make sure you update them with a personal e-mail address that you control. The same thing goes for any snail mail you got at work that you cared about. (I admit I still give my old cube address and phone extension whenever I don't want to hand out my real info, like for supermarket club cards and such.)

* Search for yourself: Google your own name -- if people are searching for you, will they be able to find you? If not, take steps to improve your own search results.

Doing a vanity search will also let you know if you need to sanitize your Facebook profile to make yourself appear more employable. (And if you're still using your Myspace page -- come on now, you're a grown-up.)

* Find your old performance evaluation forms (whatever it is they're using now, formerly GOALign, FPR, etc.), because this is the one and only time they'll come in handy -- they're useful for figuring out what the hell you did (if anything) during your career.

Thanks to the guidance of your manager, your annual evaluations should be chock-full of impressive-sounding numbers and metrics. So what if they're meaningless, or even completely made up -- you can still use them to spice up your resume. ("Programmed the AOL.com home page, where my promotions were ignored by literally billions of impression eyeballs.")

* Take screenshots. Sure, maybe not every one of the products you ever touched has been sunset. You might still want to screenshot or sitesuck some examples of things you worked on.

* Use your employee discounts. Now's the time to take advantage of your employee discounts -- the Apple store, the Philips store, etc. But, don't go too crazy -- after all, you may be losing your job.

* Take advantage of your health benefits: Make appointments for checkups and any needed health, dental and vision procedures. Sure, you've got 18 months of COBRA, but you might as well use your benefits while you still have them.

Also, regarding your Health Care Flexible Spending Account [suggested by anonymous]: I never participated, though my paperwork said you could continue files claims against your HCFSA balance under COBRA through the end of the current calendar year (there are some costs associated with it).

Anonymous reports that employees laid off in 2008 had a day to use or lose their remaining balance, though I have no additional information about that -- you're going to have to find a member of the Class of 2008 to confirm or deny that, to figure out if you're going to want to draw down what's in your account before the big day.

* On making a copy of your ID. I'm not saying you should do this. But if you did, it should be only for sentimental reasons.

* Stock up on office supplies. I'm not advocating wholesale theft. But some of those pens are nice. Also the ubiquitous Ampad Project Planner notebooks.

* Make a copy of your Fitness Center workout chart. This will help you track your descent into sloth and give you a sense of all the ground you need to make up when you start caring about working out again.

* Backup any personal files on your work machines. This includes anything that you have on share drives (not that you should have personal files on share drives). A portable or luggable hard drive is good for this.

* Have a plan for your swag. You've probably accumulated a lot of AOL-branded swag over the years. Like, say, commemorative leather and brass Circuit City coasters. (Oh, the irony.)

You're going to have enough to deal with, and packing up your things on layoff day is going to be stressful enough. And you really don't want to have to take multiple trips out to your car. So have a plan for what you're going to take with you, and what you're going to leave behind. This includes consumables, like food, sodas, beers, etc. -- either consume them beforehand, or plan on leaving them behind for whoever's left.

* Planning on leaving on your own accord? [suggested by Kevin Lawver]: "...if you're planning on leaving, wait a couple months and see if they'll take volunteers. I missed out on the whole severance, outplacement stuff by about a month..." (He has more to say about upper management in his comment.)

Things You Should Do on Layoff Day (Etiquette and More):

* Assuming you know what day things are gonna get real, dress in a manner appropriate to the occasion:

Layoff day, October 2007.

* Sequester Your Laptop: Bill Kocik suggests leaving your laptop in your trunk until you know you're safe -- this is to buy yourself more time in case you were slack and didn't back up your personal files. (Also, Verisign is looking for Java devs.)

* Twittering your layoff: I wasn't on Twitter for my layoff, but a lot has changed in the intervening time. Instead of giving exclusives to bottom feeders who justify gawking at mass layoffs as an "interesting sociological event," consider using the hashtag #AOLLayoffs09 for your layoff-related tweets and mobile updates. (You can also tag your subsequent blog entries, photos, and other associated media with "AOLLayoffs09")

If you aren't yet on Twitter... well, that wouldn't surprise me. Now would be a good time to start.

* Try not to toss your cookies:

Remnants from the Dec 2006 Layoffs

* For Blackberry users [from anonymous]: If you were issued a Blackberry and ported over your personal cellphone number instead of getting a new one, see if they can do a reverse port (so you can keep your cellphone number.)

* Take your time leaving. You're not being run out of town on a rail. Take your time and make sure you have everything you need. Check your mailslot, even if you've never seen it before. Say goodbye to the people you want to say goodbye to.

* Send your farewell e-mail. Now is not the time to settle scores. Don't burn your bridges. Thank people you need to thank, and make sure they have your contact information. I offer my own valedictory e-mail as an example.

Oh, and you get to keep your screenname (unless it has something that identifies it as an AOL business screen name).

* Look behind you at least once on the way out.

* The afterparty: First, let me know where it is. I recommend Clyde's in Ashburn. That place is huge, so don't listen to any nonsense rumors about it being closed by the Fire Marshall due to overcrowding.

If you're going to hit up your former cow-orkers for sympathy nookie, or otherwise get toasted and sloppy... hey, what are they going to do, fire you? Just try not to burn any bridges, and make sure you have a ride home -- getting a DUI is not what you need at this point.

* Call your parents. Tell them not to worry. You'll be fine.

So, You've Been Laid Off -- Things to Do Afterwards:

* Read your paperwork: There are some things you'll need to sign, and dates you won't want to miss. If you need to talk to an employment lawyer, talk to a lawyer.

* Transition/Outplacement: Whatever transition assistance they offer (if they do), take it. Maybe you want to open your own consulting shop, or need resume help, or just want to get out of the house and touch base with other members of your graduating class. At least see what they have to offer.

* File for unemployment [suggested by anonymous]: I didn't try to collect unemployment. Pride, stubbornness, stupidity, something. Don't let that stop you: Virginia | Maryland | DC

* Keeping in touch: You will lose touch with your work friends. At least a little bit. That's to be expected. The question is, do you want to be the aging alumni who hangs out at the old school way too much and too long, Wooderson? ("Awright, awright, awright.")

The thing about the DC Metro area is that you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a former AOL person. And some of us aren't completely useless. You're probably networked better than you know, just by being a cog in a big machine that's lost a lot of parts.

- On Facebook, join the AOL Reunion - DC Metro Area (they just had a reunion last week), and the other AOL groups and networks.

- There's also an AOL Alumni Association group. And of course, don't forget LinkedIn, Google Groups, etc.

- If you're staying in the area, network and participate in local events, like events listed in Upcoming.org, Meetup.com, DCTechEvents.com, and GarysGuide.org.

* Join a gym: The perk I miss most was the convenient onsite fitness centers. I really let myself slide after my layoff. If you have a home setup that you actually use, or can come up with a bodyweight, biking or running routine that doesn't require a gym (and that you'll stick to), you can skip this, but for everyone else, don't wait too long -- join a gym. (Here are the Reston options I looked at -- I never considered Gold's.)

* On boomeranging: I wouldn't. I know plenty of people who have. Hey, a job's a job, right? Especially these days.

* Go have some fun: I didn't, really. Again, you might not be able to go on an around-the-world trip, but do something. You've got a window -- use it.

**********************

That's all I've got right now. I know I'm missing things. Really, I'm still in post-layoff mode myself, even though I've been out for 14 months and am half-assing it around as a social media/online community consultant, just like every other asshole out there.

If you've got tips to contribute to dealing with your AOL layoff, please leave a comment, or send me an e-mail, IM, Twitter, Facebook message or whatever and I'll add it to the appropriate spot.

Good luck with your layoff!

Tags: AOLLayoffs09, layoffs

The key to saving the Washington Post is more Photo Hunt

In its wisdom, the advertising and marketing people at the Washington Post have decided that the key to turning around declining revenue and saving the newspaper industry is more Photo Hunt -- in the 2/15 edition of the Sunday Magazine, directly adjacent to the usual Second Glance feature, they're running an ad for the Outer Banks, mimicking the photo hunt style:

The answers aren't live yet, but I have, thoughtfully and helpfully, provided the answers:

1. Lighthouse level
2. Barely concealed disdain, envy
3. Asymptomatic congenital heart defect
4. Used condom 2 inches below surface
5. Some sort of blight or fungus
6. Vague sense of existential foreboding
7. Post-racial worldview
8. Proof of global climate change
9. SEO-optimization, Section 508 compliance
10. Ill-advised coastal erosion management project
11. Non-convict labor

The Second Glance feature has been subverted before, so perhaps that was the first step down the slippery slope.

Tags: washington post, photo hunt, second glance, advertising, marketing

The Self-Declared Official Asian Spokesperson on the Stupid Miley Cyrus Scandal

Two ongoing Mideast wars, the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression, wildfires in Australia, Israeli election uncertainty, simmering crisis in Gaza, multiple nuclear proliferation threats, and the only thing the celebrity-minded simpletons out there can wrap their silly little heads around is a silly indiscretion by a 16-year-old pop star:

One of these things is not like the other. Also, that is not my chin or jawline.

The whole goddamn thing is stupid. The photo was stupid. The Asian kid in the photo (the original one, that is) is stupid. (Question: Is he still good at math?) Righteously-indignant and morally outraged AZN bloggers are stupid. The apology was stupid. The second apology was stupid. The lawsuit is especially stupid. Miley Cyrus was stupid for forgetting that as a celebrity, she shouldn't do certain things on film (and as a 16-year-old, she can't even claim it was the booze talking). I'm stupid for writing about this.

Let's not forget, various Latin American sports teams during the Beijing Olympics were also stupid.

Friends of mine are stupid for doing almost exactly the same thing (though they were smart, because they are not celebrities), and I'm stupid for taking their picture:

Are they bad people, because they are subverting stereotypes in a manner that could be seen as offensive? (This is a bad example, as they actually are bad people.)

This is the absolute only thing I'm going to say about this. Although, since I linked to TMZ.com multiple times here, I'd like to take this opportunity to share my simple (though non-comprehensive) two-question test to determine if you're a bad person:

1. Do you work for TMZ?
2. Do you watch TMZ?
   

If you answered "yes" to either of these two questions, then, yes, you are a bad person.

Tags: miley cyrus, slanty eyes, celebrity-minded simpletons, tmz, stereotypes

And now it can be told: Crostonfest

Actually, there's not that much to tell. Saturday was Crostonfest, a surprise thank-you in honor of DC tech scenester John Croston, held just before the DC Geeks Love Wine tasting event at nclud.

While we waited for John, there was Mario Kart:

Looking down:

Oblivious to the passersby gawking.

And the man comes to town:

Not being much of a wine drinker, I did not stay. Instead, I hoofed it over to Amsterdam Falafelshop to grab a bite:

"Falafel: You are chickpeas fried in Love and wrapped in HELL YEAH!"

On the way back, here's a traffic light control box on 19th Street:

When Flashing (You only live once)

On a photo note, I've started carrying my Fujifilm Finebix F30 again, since it has an Aperture Priority setting and I want to get a little depth-of-field in my photos (though I still don't want to spring for a DSLR).

This is after I've installed CHDK (add-on firmware that unlocks features on Canon point-and-shoots) on my Canon Powershot SD1100 -- it's somewhat cumbersome, though playing around with manual focus and aperture override might still be useful.

The downside, of course, is my F30 is bigger, heavier, and pretty beat up -- the case is dented and has a visible gap from being dropped so many times, and the shutter button sticks sometimes.

Afterwards, I had some time to kill before going to Ragtime to see Scott's band, so I went to work out at the still-shiny-new Fitness First in Arlington (on North Courthouse, coincidentally across the street from Ragtime) -- despite being a somewhat half-assed workout, I was still pretty tired, but I managed to stay awake with the help of a chai tea latte.

Tags: crostonfest, chdk

Things That Are Upcoming: Gigs, Guns, and Blogs

Here are a bunch of things I'm looking at over the next few months. I say this in spite of the fact that I passed on tonight's Over the Rhine show at Birchmere (so very tired). And this may not include events that I can't talk about, should they exist:

* Tonight, Feb 9, 7:30pm: DC area Tweetup, Indique Heights in Chevy Chase. Indian food and good conversation amongst some of DC's Twitter elite. (Twee-leet?) Free, all welcome.

* Tuesday, Feb 10, 5-9pm: AOL Employee Reunion, eCitie in Vienna. Given the economic and employment outlook (for the industry as a whole and AOL in particular), current employees might want to check in on this, too.

The venue also provides a bit of irony -- eCitie opened during Dotcom Bubble 1.0, and during the heydey, they took great pains to make sure the Lambos, Ferraris, Bentleys and such were parked prominently and ostentatiously out front.

Also Tuesday, 7:30pm: The Puppini Sisters, who I will be missing, yet again, at Birchmere.

And, from Feb 10 to Feb 15, the muppet musical Avenue Q plays the Warner Theatre. Tickets start at $45. Also, the Internet is for porn.

* Wednesday, Feb 11, 9pm: College basketball, Duke vs. UNC. Not sure where I'll be for the game, but I'll be somewhere.

* Feb 13-15: Nation's Gun Show, Dulles Expo Center, Chantilly. Notable if only for timing (Valentine's Day), and because this is just after the Virginia legislature just killed a bill to close the so-called gun show loophole (which would have required private sellers at gun shows to conduct instant background checks, just as federally-licensed firearms dealers are required to do.)

* Sun, Feb 15, 7:30pm: Cowboy Junkies, Birchmere. Sold Out (I snoozed, I losed.)

* Wed, Feb 18, 7pm: February Washington Blogger Meetup at RFD in DC. We had an okay turnout last month -- a lot more "yes" RSVPs than actually showed up. I know I'll be hitting up the Wordpress folks for some Blogger-to-Wordpress transition advice.

* Thurs, Feb 19, 6pm: Bloggers for Good Meetup, O'Faolain's in Sterling. Networking with the proceeds supporting charities. More info here.

Also, 7:30pm, Fountains of Wayne play an acoustic gig at Birchmere. Sold Out.

* Sat, Feb 21, 7:30pm: DC 10th Anniversary Fark Party at The Black Rooster Pub in DC. Drew Curtis will be there -- this is part of his extended bender world tour celebrating Fark's 10th Anniversary.

DC Fark parties are always fun, though the appearance of Drew will undoubtedly bring out all the lurkers and superlurkers (folks who read Fark, but don't even have accounts).

* Thu, Feb 26, 6pm: TechCocktail DC 4, at LeftBank in Adams Morgan. This is a new venue, relocated from the now-closed MCCXXIII.

Looking out a little farther:

* Sat, Mar 14: Shamrockfest at RFK.

* Fri, Mar 20, 8pm: Ting Tings at the 9:30 Club. I already have my ticket, so call it a definite unless something unexpected comes up.

* Thu, Mar 26 (all-day): My birthday.

* Fri, Mar 27 (7pm happy hour) and Sat, Mar 28 (all-day): Government 2.0 Camp (more: Facebook | Eventbrite)

* Sat, Apr 4, 8pm: Mates of State, 9:30 Club (soft sale right now, it's not on the main page listing yet)

* Sat, Apr 11, 8pm: Demetri Martin, Warner Theatre. Just saw this listing. Call it a maybe -- perhaps seeing his new series on Comedy Central will sway me.

* Sat, Apr 18, 8pm: Legendary jazz pianist Dave Brubeck, Warner Theatre. I saw him a few years ago, in Rahway, NJ of all places. Tickets start at $40 and go to $80. If you go, don't be that guy who yells out, "Take Five!" Just don't.

* Fri, Apr 24m 8pm (pre-party) and Sat, Apr 25 (all-day): 2009 Milblogging Conference, Westin Arlington Gateway. $50. I went in 2007 (and blogged about it in my now-dead AOL Journals blog -- 2008 was in Vegas with Blog World Expo, which I didn't attend). In 2007, they were talking about mainstream media lagged behind milbloggers about the Anbar Awakening, curious to see what they're talking about now.

* Sat, May 2 (all-day): Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race. Get working on your entry and/or costume now. Mine will have to involve skates. I suppose I should try to post my 2008 photos and video before then. (More info at Kinetic Baltimore)

* Sat, May 17 (all-day): The second-ever Washington Post Hunt. I swear that I got nearly 75% of the way to solving each of the puzzles, by my lonesome. (Except for the final puzzle, which was crazy convoluted.) With a team, I will win. I will!

Tags: tweetup, ecitie, guns, washington blogger meetup, bloggers for good, techcocktail dc

The Wheel of Fortune Turns Faster These Days

I was in the gym last night on the Stair Master, and Wheel of Fortune was on the TV directly in front of me.

I haven't watched the show in years -- the last time probably found me laid up in bed with the flu, gazing slack-jawed at the original daytime version, where Vanna White still turned the cards by hand (she's still holding up well, incidentally), round winners shopped for stupid ceramic dogs, and they didn't give you R, S, T, L, N and E on the bonus round.

The thing I noticed as I was huffing and puffing away with the sound off, is that the gameplay is so much faster now. They hardly show the contestants spinning the wheel, or even the wheel spinning at all -- they just cut to the last few clicks. They might as well just be pressing a button on a slot machine.

It's a metaphor for the pace of life these days, compared to the halcyon days of my youth.

My lawn. Get off of it.

Anyway, I also tried out the VersaClimber for the first time. The Reston Fitness First has two, kind of tucked away. It wasn't what I expected, though I wasn't exactly on a record-setting pace -- I was just trying to get the motion down.

I will look forward to trying some Tabata Intervals on it (20 seconds sprint, 10 seconds recover, 8 times) -- people seem to rave about them, and a 4-minute burst appeals to me more than 20+ minutes of slogging.

On a final note, I see that the footer of the Fitness First site has a link (unlinked, as yet) for a "Fitness First blog," which makes a lot of sense. I'm surprised that more gyms and health clubs don't do blogs, it seems like a ready-made audience, as seen by the tons of personal trainers on YouTube and such. (They do have a Facebook profile, though not much a presence -- it's overwhelmed by pages and groups about the non-US chain of the same name, which apparently everyone hates.)

Tags: wheel of fortune, fitness first clubs, versaclimber, tabata intervals