A raptor tried to take my head off yesterday

Walking to Wiehle-Reston Metro, I was cutting across a lightly wooded office park when something hit the top of my head, hard and sharp.

I touched my head, and my hand came back slightly bloody.

There wasn't anyone else around. At first I thought I got hit by a chunk of ice or falling branch, but there had been no noise and nothing on the snowcrete near me.

The only thing moving was in the air. A bird, I guess a hawk, landed in a tree maybe 100 yards away. (I wasn't quick enough to get a photo before it took off again.)

I wasn't wearing a hat, and my hair is salt-and-pepper (if the pepper is white pepper), so I figure the bird thought my head was a weird squirrel or rabbit and tried to grab it.

I took a photo of the top of my head: 

 

Then again at Metro:

 

I could see the oddly square bloodstain on the top left of my head, but there wasn't any major bleeding or gaping wound, so I continued on into DC.

 

Edit: Seems equally possible that it was an owl, possibly after I got too close to its nest or territory. Definitely not a bat.

[I originally posted this to Facebook and Reddit; just wanted it on a platform I control. Mostly.]

Reston, according to The Onion

Last week's edition of satire site The Onion featured an article with a Reston, VA dateline, "Report: Every Place On Earth Has Wrong Amount Of Water," ostensibly about a report from the U.S. Geological Survey, which is headquartered in Reston.

That got me wondering: How often has The Onion featured Reston?

Searching "Reston" in The Onion archives brings up 17 results:

Of those, 7 more have Reston, VA datelines, featuring a real-life organization based in Reston or a fictional person, place, or event here:

• "New Study Finds Rocket-Powered Roller Skates Still Fastest Way To Commute To Job As Eccentric Inventor," April 18, 2024: About a study in the Journal Of Transportation Engineering, a publication of the American Society of Civil Engineers.
• "Realistic New Wildlife Campaign Just Asks Americans To Take A Good Last Look," September 4, 2020: About the National Wildlife Federation.
• "New Study Finds Unplanned Pregnancies Continuing To Decline In Bruce Springsteen Lyrics," September 2, 2016: Name checks the National Association for Music Education,, which used to be in Reston but now is in Herndon.
•  "Juror Way Too Far Into Trial To Ask What 'Contusions' Are Now," October 6, 2014: This one is kind of a random city name misfire, since Reston has no court.
• "BREAKING: Cousin Mark Coming After All," November 22, 2012: About a planned Thanksgiving in Reston.
• "Defiant Customers Refuse To Return Recalled Crib," December 11, 2002: Features a Reston parent.
• "Christian Theme Park Features World's Largest Spanking Machine," June 18, 1996: About The Matthew, Mark, Luke and Fun Playland theme park and its "new Spankinator 7000, the world’s largest spanking machine."
  

5 featured the name "Reston" as the name of a person or street:

• "Succession Of Terrible Events Fails To Befall 33-Year-Old Riding Longboard To Digital Media Job," March 12, 2012: New York City-based digital media developer Jake Reston is the person described in the headline.
• "Nation Figured Everything Would Run On Some Kind Of Cubes Of Blue Energy By Now," November 15, 2015: Has a quote from David Reston of Batavia, NY
• "Disgusted Supreme Court Can't Believe It Has To Rule Having Sex With American Flag Protected Under First Amendment," June 13, 2011: Features a quote from Portland, Oregon resident David Reston as he puts an American flag somewhere where it really, really shouldn't go.
• "City Planner Gets Halfway Through Designing City Before Realizing He’s Just Doing Philadelphia Again," March 24, 2014: Features Des Moines, Iowa urban planner William Reston.
• "As Chief Of Police, I Believe Even 500 Murders Is Too Many," November 25, 2010: Doxxes someone who lives at "324 Reston St."
  

The last 4 mention people or places from Reston:

• "White House Sends Obama To 3-Day Management Seminar At Washington Marriott," March 26, 2014: Has President Obama speaking to (and having a beer with) Tom Hanley, co-owner of Hanley Comprehensive Payroll Services from Reston, "third-largest payroll processor in the region."
• "Biden Scores 800 Feet Of Copper Wire," January 24, 2013: Where then-Vice-President Biden finds scrap copper to sell inside the walls of a vacated residence in Reston, VA.
• "Finest Opera Singer Of Her Generation Unknown By Her Generation," January 31, 2001: The first quote is from "Amy Sharper, 23, a self-described 'total music freak' from Reston, VA."
• "Corporate-Welfare Recipients: Are They Eating Steak And Driving Cadillacs?" February 17, 1999: Features a quote from "Reston, VA, delivery driver Ted Schacht, 41."
  

Reston Quasi-Quarantine Walkabout, 3/22/20

This is mostly just a reminder to my future self that in the Spring of 2020 we were in the middle of dealing with the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic, with mandatory telework, social distancing, and shutdowns of schools, mass gatherings, and nonessential businesses.

I've been teleworking for two-and-a-half weeks now. I've made just 2 trips to the grocery store, one trip to Carpool to get takeout, and a brief stop at Jackson's in Reston Town Center before things really started shutting down.

Sunday, it was clear but cool for the peak of the cherry blossoms (a no-go due to crowding); I figured I'd take a walk around town, maybe get a photo of the local blooms and pass them off as from the Tidal Basin.

Here's an upskirt shot of 1900 Reston Metro Plaza (I refrained from using that phrase in the Flickr description... didn't want to attract any more Flickr pervs than I already have. It's 2020 and people are still using Flickr to feed their fetishes. I don't even check my notifications any more; it's just Flickr pervs favoriting photos of feet and belly buttons from 12 years ago.)



Anyway, I went through Wiehle Metro station, which was deserted, as was Plaza America. Also took a few photos of blooms and bushes with my Pixel 3A in Portrait mode to get some depth of field, but apparently when I deleted the unused photos in the burst, I somehow deleted the photos from my camera roll. Annoying.


After going down Sunset Hills to Reston Parkway, I stopped by Halley Rise, home of the future Wegman's.


Then, I picked up some chicken pad thai at the new Thai place in Reston Heights, My Home Thai Bistro. Bad time to open a restaurant. The noodles were vermicelli-style, not flat, which was unexpected but okay, and they did cut steam vent holes in the box.


For the last image, I saw a baggie of weed in the street by the curb (not saying where) and actually did a double take when I saw it. Assuming it wasn't a hidden camera YouTube prank, it probably fell out of a pocket when getting out of a car.

Having just taken a piss test (first one that wasn't for a physical) for a new client gig, I maintained social distance while taking the photo.

June Update: I Got Burgled, Got Jacked Up, Got a Job

I Got Burgled 
I woke up extra early on a Saturday morning to drive out to an event, and was so bleary-eyed that it took me a few extra seconds to notice that my driver's side car door was already ajar.

At first I thought, geez, I wasn't that bad last night, was I? Then I saw that the driver's interior light was on, illuminating a mess of junk on the seat and a hole in my dashboard where my ashtray/change holder used to be:

Apparently, I'd left my car unlocked Friday night, and sometime between midnight and 6am, some miscreant took advantage of that fact. I lost a pocketknife and about ten bucks in quarters and small bills. Oh, and the bastard took the damn ashtray, which will run me at least $30 to replace. (I'm sure he -- I'm assuming it's a he -- didn't keep the ashtray to feed the thriving underground market trafficking in 2002 Mazda Protege ashtrays, but I didn't see it laying around nearby. Maybe he kept it as a trophy. You know who else keeps trophies of their crimes? Serial killers.)

Fortunately, the thief didn't get any of the other items in my car that are of nontrivial value, and didn't break anything (unlike that time in Baltimore), so I guess it's just a reminder to be more careful.

I did file a police report online, though it didn't make the police blotter.

Got Jacked Up 
Another Saturday, this time at the gym. Like I posted to Twitter, I hurt my back (again) doing exercises (this time, kettlebell swings) that I was specifically doing to keep from hurting my back again. Textbook irony.

The instant *twinge* let me know that it happened. It didn't feel as bad as I've done it before, so I didn't even have to hobble out of the gym. I stayed most of the weekend in, took a few Advil, and thought I was okay.

Then I woke up Monday morning, and my back was so tight I could barely get up. I had to take a work from home day, and spent all day flat on my back, popping NSAIDs, with my laptop perched on my stomach.

By Tuesday, I was back on my feet, though I'm glad my Thursday kickball game got rained out (controversially). I would have been pretty useless.

Got a Job
Did you notice that bit about taking a "work from home day"? As a freelance consultant for the past few years, that was pretty much every day. But I started a new job on June 8 -- I'm a Senior Digital Strategist (read: Associate) at Booz Allen.

Talk about burying the lede. I've held off on announcing it, and in fact, I haven't yet updated my LinkedIn profile. Partly it was to make sure they didn't change their minds... NO TAKEBACKS! Kidding, as we know, of course, Virginia is an at-will employment statement. Though right now, I'm still feeling my way around and learning the ropes.

It's funny: when I was at Deltek, I had to learn a lot about government contracting, but since I'd never done it, it was all theoretical, abstract knowledge. Now, I am one (well, I'm not on a contract yet), so I'm seeing how things actually work.

Including managing and writing proposals. Wow.

This also means that I'm wearing an RFID-equipped leash again, sporting the worst ID picture I've ever taken, and I'm even wearing it on a lanyard around my neck (which I refused to do when I was at AOL, preferring the pull-starter at waist level).

I'm also commuting to Tysons, just like I did when I first moved down here to work for AOL.

One other mildly amusing thing I've found so far: Most of the internal company sites are subdomains that live off of bah.com. When they have to pronounce these URLs, employees actually do say "BAH." As in "Bah, humbug."

I haven't yet taken the Metro to work, but I'll have to give that a try soon.

Oops, We Did It Again, Again

I'm not sure how we did it, but Turning Kicks won the FXA Kickball championship again:

 

Spring 2011 FXA Kickball Championship Trophy

This happened a few weeks ago (see the full photo set.) I had a fairly solid game, including diving to catch a foul ball and ending up doing a forward shoulder roll. (I made the catch.)

Also, I gave myself another raspberry sliding into second (not as bad as previous years' versions, though):

A week with a Tegaderm bandage and it's all better now.

In fact, my only major blunder was not getting the digits after talking to the two blonde lawyers from the team we played in the semis, after the game at Carpool. (Even though one lives in Manassas.)

Between the diving, sliding, and shots, I was pretty banged up the next day.

A championship retrospective:

July 2011

November 2010

July 2010

July 2008

Random Access: 2010 Brain Dump

• I had a New Year's, starting at Jimmy's and then going to McCormick & Schmick's in Ye Olde Towne Centre. You can see it here, if you really want to -- the photo below is a remarkably accurate representation of the evening -- the only thing not depicted was how long it took to get a drink at times:

• My credit card wouldn't take, though the card company (later) says it's fine, so I'm wondering if I accidentally put my wallet on the magnetic latch on my Macbook. It's been a recurring fear of mine, although I've never done it.

• Speaking of credit cards -- here's a photo of someone else's signed slip, that I saw as I was waiting for my own card to get declined:

Zorro leaves a $3 tip on a $49 tab? At least he got the math right.

• I spent the last part of New Year's Eve Day with an impromptu Joseph Gordon-Levitt festival, re-watching Inception and Brick, and then seeing (500) Days of Summer for the first time. It was a little twee, but I liked it, especially how the non-linear chronology converged towards a specific point. The only thing I didn't like (outside the fact that the "drunk" acting by Gordon-Levitt and the dude from Super Troopers who's married to Christina Hendricks [*mind boggles*] looks like actors trying to act drunk) was I identified far too closely with the male lead, who's in his early to mid-twenties, whereas I am... not. Very much not.

• Oh, and I finished things out with Inglourious Basterds, which was completely not what I was expecting and I can't quite understand what all the fuss was about.

• My first workout of 2011 was really my last workout of 2010. I'm caught up now, just in time to join all the "resolutionaries."

• Up until a recent year-end top music countdown on the local dance music station, I though the chorus of Taio Cruz's Dynamite (I had to look that up) went:
  

  "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying "AY-O... Galileo"

  leaving me wondering why a club music dude was name-checking astronomers.

•  I have a nagging cough that's got me all phelgmy and sounding like I have laryngitis.

• Every time I see the temporary traffic light truss (it will be replaced by a full-on overpass) at the intersection of Fairfax County Parkway and Reston Parkway, I kind of get the urge to climb it so I can crawl across it. I'm a little surprised no one has been arrested trying it yet:

I Was Caught Showering in the Women's Locker Room of My Gym

"Attention Members! Locker Rooms are SWAPPED while the women's steam room is being rebuilt: Men use Women's; Women use Men's. Thanks!"

The Locker Room Burrito Is a Lie

I went to the gym tonight for the first time since I hurt my back a few weeks ago. To avoid hurting myself again, I only did cardio, which I need to focus on anyway.

In the locker room, there was this flyer taped to the mirror. After reading it, I needed to take a picture. (Yes, I was that guy using a cellphone camera inside the locker room):

The burrito is a lie.

It's a flyer for the relatively new Chipotle in Reston Town Center; the promotion involves showing your Fitness First membership card there on Saturdays in March for a free burrito (or bowl, tacos, or salad); the picture features a burrito, with the caption, "More Than Worth Those Ten Extra Minutes on the Treadmill."

Now, according to the ChipotleFan.com calorie calculator, a standard chicken burrito combination clocks in at just under 1100 calories.

Using any given calorie calculator (say, this one at SparkPeople), 10 minutes on the treadmill, at a basic 10-minute mile pace (6 mph), burns about 100 calories.

Unless you can run at 60 mph (you shut up, Mr. Steve Austin), what the ad implies is off by a factor of 10. It's a lot closer to two hours than ten minutes.

This does not mean that I won't be there on Saturday to snag a free burrito. (Hey, free burrito.)

I enjoy Chipotle, but I like Baja Fresh more, mostly because I raid the salsa bar and use the extra red salsa in meatloaf, marinades, etc. (Hate the new condiment bags, by the way -- they suck. I used to be able to fit 8 salsa cups into one of the old paper bags.)

Anyway, I did 20 minutes on the treadmill (brisk walking at about 4.4 mph -- running makes my knee hurt), then followed with about 10 minutes of jumping rope.

Tags: chipotle, fitness first, baja fresh

Jack Bauer Tortured by Trope

First, a photo: Overflowing book drop at the Reston Regional Library (closed for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day holiday):

I was returning two Charlie Stross books (Atrocity Archives and Missile Gap), and a few other people had beaten me there. I couldn't bring myself to leave the books outside, so I'll try again later.

* * *

In 24 news, I have to say that they're pretty close to losing me again. (Spoilers for Season 8, Hour 3). What did it was the sheer ludicrousness needed to squeeze in the police brutality scene: We're expected to believe that Officer Bullethead, upon getting the drop on an unknown guy (Jack Bauer) who's holding his partner at gunpoint (already a scenario which clearly justifies -- nay, demands -- deadly force)... instead chooses to tase him.

Okay, fine, a poor tactical choice at best, using nonlethal force like that... but then, he makes a big deal about having just tromped through the murder scene and how Jack is a copkiller who needs to be beaten to death so he doesn't skate on a technicality.

Got that? He's a rogue cop who's ready to turn to street justice. Yet when he sees a cop killer pointing a gun at his partner, instead of shooting him, he uses his taser.

It's a horrible example of lazy writing, using the police brutality cliche to justify a gratuitious "torture Jack Bauer scene." (Throw in the rookie redemption trope, too. At least the Asian guy gets to kick a little ass, eventually.)

Speaking of torture, the "I'm not going to cut the bracelet" line in the auto parts store was clearly meant to invoke "I'm gonna need a hacksaw" from Season 2. Although it's sort of interesting to see Jack on the other side of "I'll do whatever it takes," the writers are dipping into a dry well: Mole red herring; serial plots stitched together outlandishly (Yes, by all means, bring the weapons-grade uranium to the US -- the US is a great transshipment point for that sort of thing); annoying domestic subplots, etc.

Oh, and apparently, testifying in front of the Senate in open hearings does not preclude you from doing undercover work.

As I noted elsewhere, "suspension of disbelief" is accepting Freddy Prinz, Jr. as a tough guy badass field agent. This is just silly.

A few other things:

* Jack Bauer upgraded his messenger bag from canvas to leather

* Lastly, assuming that's where CTU: NY is located, might this finally make Roosevelt Island cool? Will we see a battle on the tram?

Tags: 24, tropes, torture, jack bauer

An Afternoon of Mild Disappointments

After a haircut this morning (not disappointing), I went to see District 9. I liked it (especially the parts where the bad guys go *splash*) but I was mildly disappointed by it, mostly because it had been hyped so much and I went in with really high expectations.

Parts of it were uneven, and parts of it felt like a standard buddy movie (even with aliens, it's fairly well-trodden ground). Everyone was interested in collecting and using the alien weapons (robot fighting suits!) except the aliens themselves, which was odd, though I guess an alien uprising would have been a different allegorical movie. And the The Nigerian gangsters felt like they were spliced into the plot to provide a convenient device.

Overall, the plot left a lot unexplained, in a very unsatisfying way. At least with Alien Nation (to which this movie owes a lot), we knew the Tenctonese aliens were slaves, which is why they couldn't go home. In District 9, the aliens have the means to go home -- one really smart prawn has been hiding the key to their return for 20 years, and they even have the fuel -- albeit in a form they need to furtively scavenge and refine -- like meth cookers -- from recovered bits of their own technology.

Anyway, it seems fairly well set up for a sequel. District 10, anyone?

Afterwards, I stopped by Reston Town Center to visit the new Apple Store. Though I missed the grand opening festivities, it was still loud and crowded. This one, I didn't have big expectations for -- after all, it's just an Apple store -- but it's also disconvertingly small. Narrow. Especially when compared to the nearby stores in Arlington and Tysons Corner. It doesn't take up the entire former Eddie Bauer store space (there's another store next door).

Then I stopped by The Counter for a burger. The space is shiny and nice, the staff is friendly, they have beer, and the burger is... average. Maybe "solid" is a better word. I would say overpriced.

The fries are shoestring style and good, though I guess I'm a french fry philistine -- my favorite is still the heavily-seasoned kind that come frozen in an institutional-sized bag.

Anyway, here's a cameraphone picture:

I still haven't been to Ray's Hell Burger yet, so the best I've had around here is still Joe's Burgers in McLean.

Tags: district 9, apple store, counter burger

Using My Poor Man's Steadycam to Document Our Lackluster Kickball Performance

We had a kickball game on Wednesday. Even though it wasn't cold and rainy, the team was pretty flat offensively and we lost. (I went 0 for 2 at bat, including kicking into a double play, and was accused of being a rules lawyer because I reminded a girl that she couldn't take a lead off of first base.)

It did give me a chance to finally test out the Poor Man's Steadycam that I built just over a year ago (and hadn't used since).

The results were... mixed. I didn't really try walking around with it, just doing some basic panning. Even so, there's a lot of camera shake, because instead of using the prescribed 2.5 or 5 pound counterweight at the bottom, I just used a screw-on cast-iron flange, which I thought I could get away with because my Canon powershot only weights 1/4 pound. It saved weight, but basically killed the motion-dampening action, which defeats the whole purpose of the thing (other than to make people wonder "What the heck is that guy holding in his hands?").

Also, the wind noise is really prominent in spots -- need something with an external mike and one of those fuzzy covers.

Anyway, here's the video (make sure you click the "HQ" option, I may not have picked the best file size settings):

Tags: fxa

The Wheel of Fortune Turns Faster These Days

I was in the gym last night on the Stair Master, and Wheel of Fortune was on the TV directly in front of me.

I haven't watched the show in years -- the last time probably found me laid up in bed with the flu, gazing slack-jawed at the original daytime version, where Vanna White still turned the cards by hand (she's still holding up well, incidentally), round winners shopped for stupid ceramic dogs, and they didn't give you R, S, T, L, N and E on the bonus round.

The thing I noticed as I was huffing and puffing away with the sound off, is that the gameplay is so much faster now. They hardly show the contestants spinning the wheel, or even the wheel spinning at all -- they just cut to the last few clicks. They might as well just be pressing a button on a slot machine.

It's a metaphor for the pace of life these days, compared to the halcyon days of my youth.

My lawn. Get off of it.

Anyway, I also tried out the VersaClimber for the first time. The Reston Fitness First has two, kind of tucked away. It wasn't what I expected, though I wasn't exactly on a record-setting pace -- I was just trying to get the motion down.

I will look forward to trying some Tabata Intervals on it (20 seconds sprint, 10 seconds recover, 8 times) -- people seem to rave about them, and a 4-minute burst appeals to me more than 20+ minutes of slogging.

On a final note, I see that the footer of the Fitness First site has a link (unlinked, as yet) for a "Fitness First blog," which makes a lot of sense. I'm surprised that more gyms and health clubs don't do blogs, it seems like a ready-made audience, as seen by the tons of personal trainers on YouTube and such. (They do have a Facebook profile, though not much a presence -- it's overwhelmed by pages and groups about the non-US chain of the same name, which apparently everyone hates.)

Tags: wheel of fortune, fitness first clubs, versaclimber, tabata intervals

So, a Rabbit Walks Into a Bike (and other events)

It's been unseasonably warm for October, so I ventured this afternoon into the weekend sunlight to skate. I preceeded this with a trip to the gym for a bonus beach muscles workout, which is a necessity if I'm going to complete my Michael Phelps Halloween costume.

(I'm not actually going as Michael Phelps. It'd be a simple costume, but I don't want to shave my bikini line. Also, I get cold easily. And, while I do have pectorals again, it's a long way from here to there. I did, however, get a costume inspiration Saturday night, so I've been shopping around for materials. Though I haven't actually, you know, formulated a plan yet, which is always a winning strategy. But I do know I need to buy a heat gun.)

Anyway, conditions on the trail were good. I started on the W&OD trail in Reston and headed east, which of course meant hitting the annoying hill at Buckthorn Lane (which features my favorite sign):

Actually taken coming back (westbound)

Nothing too eventful on the way out, and I turned around at Vienna. On the way back, I saw a bunch of vultures perched on a power tower, though the most notable thing happened back in Reston. There was an oncoming biker about 50 feet ahead of me, when all of a sudden, a rabbit darted out from the side of the trail and ran smack into the guy's back wheel.

For a bad moment, I thought the critter was going to get caught up in the works, but it just bounced off and scampered back into the brush.

I made it back without further incident. Afterwards, I went to Home Depot for some materials (did you know a 10-foot length of PVC pipe will bend just enough so I can fit it completely inside my car?), then to Harris Teeter (always a good idea, food shopping when you're ravenously hungry).

*********************
Saturday, I went to Oktoberfest Reston in Ye Olde Reston Town Center -- as noted, I didn't quite get how Zydeco music fit into the whole "Oktoberfest" thing.

Afterwards, we went to Jackson's Mighty Fine Food, which I didn't even know was there -- it was a parking lot a few months ago. It's a Great American Restaurants joint, so it's done up by the same folks who do Sweetwater Tavern and such (and looks it).

It was muy crowded -- we were surrounded by Stiflers (and the cougars who hunt them) -- though don't wear a baseball cap, else you'll be told to remove it (I suggested using it as a strategem to get a drink order in faster).

I think I packed it in before midnight, so I missed the excitement just up the street -- according to the Post, just down Sunrise Valley from me, a driver went off the road, hit a tree and flipped, killing him. Owwie. I predict more speed enforcement, and maybe another DUI checkpoint, in the neighborhood in the near future.

As to the rest of it -- the costume will involve some crafting, some engineering, and some construction, so we'll see how that goes.

Tags: w&od trail

You Don't Have to Go to the Gym If It's on Fire

I was going to go to the gym today, really I was. But then I saw this on the front door:

"Fitness First is CLOSED DUE TO FIRE..."

The Fitness First Web site says, "Reston, Virginia - Due to a fire, the club will remain closed until 5 am, Tuesday, August 26th. Group exercise and free weights will remain closed for approximately two weeks."

I guessed that someone was just too darned fast on the treadmill, though a fellow thwarted gym-goer suggested it was due to a fat lady wearing corduroy pants, which I find unlikely.

I've been to the Fitness First in Tysons Corner a few times, which is close to my work site. It's newer, bigger, and nicer, so it works out pretty well -- I can still get an afternoon workout before I head into Arlington or DC (for a change, it looks like I chose wisely).

Anyway, I went home and got my skates (which of course I'd taken out of the back of my car) and went on the W&OD Trail (my usual route, from Reston Parkway to Route 28 and back). It smelled like rain, so I almost cut it short early, but ended up sticking it out. Yay, me, although my feet hurt now.

Tags: fitness first

Stupid Should Hurt: Health Club Audition Edition

Probably the AOL perk I miss the most is easy access to the well-appointed, on-campus fitness centers. (Not that I used them much in my last few months, but still.)

So I'm currently (not to mention finally) in the process of auditioning a new gym, which I haven't had to bother with since the McBurney YMCA in NY a few speculative bubbles ago. (It was a nice setup -- after work, I'd take the bus down from midtown, work out, then use my transfer to go crosstown to my place on 20th.)

I visited a couple of the local gyms last week, looked around and got free passes. I went to the first place on Friday, did an extremely lame and light full-body workout, and yet still managed to knock the legs out from under me.

Today, as I was heading into the second place, I discovered that I had left and lost my lock at the first place.

Now, I have a few extra combination locks at home (I even have the combinations for some of them), but I didn't feel like driving back. Luckily, there was a sporting goods store next door that had them for a higher-than-usual markup, so I bought one (remember, stupid should hurt -- or at least cost).

Unlike the duplicate CD caper, though, you do not get any benefit from this dumb move -- although you can have my old combination in case you run into my old lock (it's purple):

(Incidentally, I know that it's trivially easy to make a padlock shim out of a beer can.)

Now, as to the Reston health club offerings, here are my capsule reviews:

Reston Sport and Health
Positive: Lots of machines (though some are older, uncomfortable, and, frankly, just look like filler). Close to the W&OD Trail.
Negative: Bumpy parking lot. A little hard to get to during rush hour (though I suppose that goes for practically anywhere around here).
Neutral: Open floor plan.

Fitness First Reston
Positive: Free weight area set apart a bit. They have a machine setup I'm used to, plus headset audio for the TVs in front of the cardio machines. Can use the other locations.
Negative: On the small side -- a little cramped (though the space is well-utilized). Plus, it's in Plaza America, so parking can be tight at times.
Neutral: Looks like it has its share of both meatheads and hot chicks.
Perverse: It's on the second floor -- and the main way up is an escalator.

Reston YMCA
Positive: Big, lots of machines. Indoor running track and basketball court. Swimming pool. Lots of programs and activities.
Negative: Very pricey. And I'll probably never use the programs or pool.
Neutral: Right next door to Chipotle. (Better make that a negative. The Fitness First is right next to a Five Guys, with the pizza place and Baja Fresh just a few doors down, so I guess that's even worse.)

Health Club of Reston
Positive: Convenient location across from Reston Parkway.
Negative: No longer exists.
Neutral: That about covers it.

There are a few more possibilities, though I don't see myself as a Gold's person. I'm leaning towards the Fitness First -- it's marginally cheaper and open a little later. But whatever happens, I'm sure I'll be fit, ripped and huge shortly.

If anyone has any opinions about Reston/Herndon fitness club options, leave a comment.

Tags: health clubs

Skate or Blog: Choose One

I'm so out of shape right now, when I go skating, it wipes me out for the rest of the day. And for a good chunk of the next day. Which is probably one of the reasons I haven't posted for a while.

My first time out this year was in Baltimore, for the Kinetic Sculpture Race (the photos of which I still haven't done up yet). It was a sink-or-swim kind of deal, since it covers about 15 miles over the course of the day, but I made it. (More or less -- but were my feet sore.)

I went out again last Wednesday afternoon, starting at Sunset Hills and going west just past Herndon. Not too far, but my legs were still dead from a bike ride on Memorial Day Monday (only Reston to Vienna, but the hill at Blackthorn Road coming back wiped me out).

I also wanted to do a trial run on skates using my Poor Man's Steadycam, but I ended up just hauling it around in my backpack to get a sense of the weight (it's not a delightful experience). Though I did take a few video test shots just holding my camera -- kind of a "before" shot for comparison -- it's pretty unwatchable because of all the side-to-side motion (until I get to the coasting part):

Leaving aside the fact that it would be kind of, you know, dangerous, to try skating at speed while hanging on to the rig with both hands, I'm hoping I can still use it while coasting on flats or mild downhills. Which would make me kind of a human steadycam dolly.

During the ride, my bearings were making a lot of noise. I figured I'd thrashed them pretty good in Baltimore, so over the weekend, I took them apart to rotate the wheels, and clean and regrease the bearings:

Skate shell, booties, wheels, bearings, shields, clips, spacers, bolts and grease.

Here you can see my current, first, and only skates: Rollerblade Coolblades, which I bought back in 1994 or 1995 for about $300 (with pads). I've taken them up and down Manhattan, through the Central Park loop countless times, up to Niagara Falls, and out to Iowa. They've held up surprisingly well -- I've only replaced the wheels and bearings a couple of times.

They still pinch at the base of my shins, but I'm pretty used to that by now (bloody socks and all). Though I'll think I'll eventually switch to a traditional lace-up boot, maybe jump over to K2s (K2 still makes skates, right?)

Here's a macro shot of one of the bearings:

Degreasing brought to you by Simple Green.

Anyway, I and my now-clean bearings went out again on Monday, starting at Sunset Hills and going west. I got a late start (6:20ish), so I figured my turnaround time would be 7pm, giving me enough margin to get back before safely before sunset (even if I gassed out).

At 7pm, I'd just made it to Church Road, which is just close enough to the Route 28 overpass that I decided to stretch it out a little more. Although I wasn't able to do a full speed run on the overpass's westbound downhill (which is still one of my favorite things to do -- it's no Central Park "Big Hill," but it has a nice, long, straight rollout), since there was an inconvenient bit of gravel on the trail.

I eventually made it back with time to spare. Again, only about a 15-mile round trip. But here's a tip -- if you're going to be skating close to dusk, try to keep your mouth closed. (Bugs -- ptooey.)

Tags: w&od trail, skating, rollerblades, coolblades

The White Van Speaker Scam Blows Into Reston

I was driving back from lunch and stopped at a red light on Reston Parkway, when I heard a loud conversation coming from behind me.

A guy in a white van in the left lane was talking to the driver of the car behind me. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but when the van rolled up to me and the passenger motioned to me, I figured they were asking for directions.

I rolled down my window and heard:

"Hey, you want a set of speakers? For your house?"

This, of course, is straight from the script of the White Van Speaker Scam. (If you haven't heard about it, it's pretty interesting to see how it works. The mechanism relies on people's greed for a bargain, as well as the desire to help someone stick it to The Man. See also.)

I just shook my head no and rolled up the window. I should have taken a picture of the guys, but I only got a crappy and useless cellphone photo of the back of the van:

They moved turned in to the North Point Shopping Plaza, presumably in search of another sucker.

Tags: white van speakers, scams

I Told U Reston Was Hardcore (as I Am a Crazy Gangbanger)

In case you were wondering, Reston's a pretty rough town unincorporated part of Fairfax County. Reston-related gun crime made the news again -- from Saturday's Washington Post: Armed Woman Arrested at D.C. Police Headquarters:

"A Reston woman armed with a pistol walked into D.C. police headquarters Thursday afternoon and attempted to take a guard's gun before she was wrestled to the ground, authorities said."

Now, there are several odd elements to this story. For starters, isn't it usually suburbanites who worry about crime being exported from the cities? But then we find out:

* The woman's name is Cynthia Nixon. Presumably, it isn't the Sex and the City actress. Although they're about the same age. I couldn't tell you anything about her -- the only relevant Web result for the Reston Nixon was a 5k race result from 1999.

* " The charging papers quoted Nixon as telling police that her plan was to 'rob a police officer of his weapon.'" This alone suggests all kinds of crazy, because:

1. Robbing a cop of his gun. Yeah. Somehow, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through. You could probably get some bullets this way, though.
   
2. It's a long way to go to get a gun -- especially if you live in Virginia, where it should be a lot easier to get a handgun than in the District (legally, that is).
3. Oh, and did you miss the part where she already had her own gun (real, loaded, and presumably functional -- though she pulled the trigger when she tried to shoot the guard and it didn't go off)

* In addition to the gun and 36 rounds, she had two joints and two baggies of pot. Judging by her previous statement, this was probably for Phase II: Steal drugs from a narc.

However this particular episode turns out, it only adds to the growing body of evidence that Reston is hardcore. (Check out the Brandon Vedas story if you don't get the reference.)

To that end, I will show you what a vato loco I am, by mean mugging for all you civilians:

We gangbangers have poor trigger discipline.

Normally, for your typical MySpace gangbanger self-portrait, you have to be able to see the camera in the bathroom mirror. Also, my wifebeater is gray and not the usual white. But that's just how we roll in South Reston.

Here, I am double-strapped in the 20191-3512:

My Imperial Rifle Blaster does my talking.

Since we don't sacrifice accuracy for style, here you can see my slightly-modified gangsta grip (canted, not fully horizontal):

Note the extra-gangster orange safety tip.

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The "Tec-9" is a toy, of course -- it was made by Larami about 20 years ago, in the late 80s, when life was cheap, and so were toy guns that were realistic enough to get you shot by cops (as opposed to the much pricier airsoft guns these days). The rest of the photo set is here: Mean Mugging With a Toy Tec-9.

Since I was raiding the toy closet anyway, I took a few more photos of the Tec-9 and its accessories, which I will post in a followup entry.

Why yes, I am feeling a lot better now: Yesterday was pretty bad in terms of overall sickness. I've over the hump now, but still wasn't well enough to go out. So here we are.

Tags: cynthia nixon, mean mugging

Foreclosure - Impressive!

Won't You Be My Neighbor? A "for sale" sign on the townhouse across the street from me -- the FORECLOSURE bit is a new wrinkle:

Another victim of the housing market implosion?

It's had different for sale signs out in front for a long time. I don't think I've ever met the owners -- between the different signs and the various moving trucks, I'm not sure how many times it's changed hands (I'm assuming people had been trying to flip it), or if it had just been on and off the market.

Tags: foreclosure

The Geekiest License Plate & Car Combo Yet

I was driving on Reston Parkway this afternoon when I noticed this vanity license plate. It's pretty geeky: "TO SOL-4" -- in other words, "To Mars."

Then I pulled up behind the car at a light, and saw that I had barely scratched the surface of the geekiness:

See the photo on Flickr for notes.

Please note the following items (you'll have to take my word on it, since it's not my finest cameraphone pic):

1. "TO SOL-4 [Mars]" vanity license plate, in a Planetary Society license plate frame
2. Matching Planetary Society bumper sticker
3. Linux penguin sticker
4. Discordian bumper sticker
5. And of course, it's a Saturn.

Bonus: "I'm Pro-Choice on Everything" Libertarian bumper sticker.

And those were just the items I could identify.

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In other news, it was really windy late this afternoon. I was driving north on Route 28 and I swear my car was headed northeast.

But at least the days are getting longer.

Tags: vanity tags, geek, planetary society, mars