If You Don't Hate Me Yet, The Next 90 Seconds Will Change That

Found this in my archives. It's an AOL jingle/song -- not sure if it was ever used anywhere. The style is equal bits Instructional Video Soundtrack and Bible Camp Singalong. Feels like it could have been the background music for a promotional video or the warmup for an all-hands meeting. [Update: A smob claiming knowledge of the particulars said on a Facebook comment, "That was from some message board group back in 1995 - it wasn't AOL sanctioned/created. eWorld was somehow involved but forget why."]



How long do you think you can last? The lyrics are really bad. Trust me, I had to listen in order to transcribe them:

[Chorus]
Take your time, go online
Come around and join the party
Take the key, and you will see
That it's fun to hang around.
Go America…
Go America…
Go America Online
[/Chorus]

Hurry up and check the system
And meet the people and start chatting.
Come on board, come to the show.
Let this family grooooow.

[Chorus]

[Keytar solo?]

You need some info so show you've got it
The World Wide Web will make it.
We're all waiting for new friends to be known to
And we hope it will be youuuuuuuu.

[Chorus]

Doesn't matter what problems you will get.
Our family will help you.
Doesn't matter how much time it will take.
Take your hands and break through.

[Chorus x 2, ends abruptly.]

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If you've got ideas as to when the song was made or how it was used, leave a comment. Take your time, go online...

Favorite 80s Christmas Songs (And a Chicken in a Ba-na-na Tree)

As a man-child of the 1980s, I naturally think that '80s Christmas songs are the bestest of all time (boomer nostalgia-driven radio airplay notwithstanding -- suck it, Millenials). Although in recent years, I've managed to avoid most of the trappings of the holiday season, there a still a few favorites I just like to hear:

Band Aid, "Do They Know Its Christmas" (1984) -- To me, the defining, omnibus song of the 1980s, and still my all-time favorite Christmas song.

The Waitresses, "Christmas Wrapping" (1981) -- My first exposure to the Waitresses was "I Know What Boys Like." It made me feel bad. This song was better.

Elmo & Patsy, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" (1984 re-release) -- '80s cheese, but I have to hear it at least once before Christmas. This used to be difficult, before streaming MP3 radio, YouTube, and god knows what the kids are using these days.

U2, "Baby Please Come Home" (1987) -- I don't really think of this as a Christmas song; I can listen to Bono wailing away in it all year round.

Wham! "Last Christmas" (1984) -- This is mid-tier '80s Christmas for me.

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'70s Interlude

Donny Osmond "Twelve Days of Christmas" (1979) -- Now, while not technically 80s, this one has stayed with me through the years, if only for the annoyingly stupid chorus:

I was 7 at the time. I saw it live (I would have had to, of course.)

The celebrity Christmas special hasn't really aged well, as Nick and Jessica showed us.

---

The Pogues, "Fairytale Of New York" (1987) -- I only really got into this song in college, and I don't really think of it as a Christmas song (just like most people don't think of Die Hard as a Christmas movie). This, too, I can also listen to all year long.

Bob & Doug McKenzie, "12 Days of Christmas" (1982) -- Another for the annoyingly catchy chorus. ("And a beer... in a tree.")

Paul McCartney, "Wonderful Christmastime" (1979) -- Christmas light. Kind of a palate-cleanser, with more synth.

Billy Squier, "Christmas Is a Time to Say I Love You" (1981) -- The one thing that really makes this one memorable is my friend Steve lip-synching this for a talent show in high school. He ended it by sliding on his knees. It looked like it hurt.

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, "Little Drummer Boy" (1981) -- Kind of an odd one. I know some folks don't like it.

---

Interlude: 30 Second Hate

I hate Hate HATE Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" (1985). I never liked it. I still don't like it. Although I hope Santa brought Clarence a new saxophone before he died.

---

John Lennon, "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" (1980 re-release) -- I kind of missed out on the whole John Lennon thing at the time. But I did like the song.

David Bowie & Bing Crosby, "Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy" (1977) -- This is an awesome song, and it doesn't get nearly enough airplay. Even though the setup is pretty bizarre.

The Kinks, "Father Christmas" (1977) -- A staple of classic rock Christmas, it's also a pretty awesome song.

"Keep Christmas With You All Through the Year" (1978). I haven't watched Christmas Eve on Sesame Street in years. It's really good. It made me sad.

---

Did you know: The Cocteau Twins did a version of "Frosty the Snowman"? (1992) I didn't.

---

Bonus: 90s and Beyond

Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan, "God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings" (2004) -- The first part swings a bit. I like it.

Mariah Carey, "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (1994) -- This is probably my guiltiest pleasure on the list.

Eric Cartman singing "O Holy Night" (1999) -- *ZZZAAAPPP*

Things That Are Upcoming to Which I May Attend

I've been really slack, even negligent, about doing... stuff lately: Going to things like concerts, meetups, and social media unconferences.

Here are a few things to which I might be going in the foreseeable future.

Wednesday, February 2: 6:30-9pm, Slaviya (the former Left Bank) in Adams-Morgan, DC: Tech Cocktail DC Winter 2011 - I guess Frank got tired of numbering them all. As always, the afterparty action is across the street at Amsterdam Falafelshop.

Also that night is WTF Wednesday at Rock & Roll Hotel, featuring a Twin Peaks episode starting at 7:30pm

Saturday, February 26: 9pm - Los Amigos Invisibles play the Black Cat -- I saw them a long, long time ago open for Soul Coughing. (Up at UMBC, I believe.)

Sunday, March 27: 7:30pm - Over the Rhine plays at Birchmere

Friday, April 15 through Monday, April 18: 8pm - Dave Brubeck plays a four-night stand at Blues Alley. Tickets are... holy shit, $150.

***Sunday, April 17: 8pm - The Raveonettes at Black Cat -- definitely on the list, even if it is a Sunday***

Tuesday, April 19: 8pm - British Sea Power at Black Cat. I have an album of theirs. I think my sister gave it to me.

Friday, April 29: 8pm - Midnight - Hirshhorn After Hours, at the Hirshhorn Museum. Tickets on sale March 29.

Saturday, April 30 - Sunday, May 1 - Privacy Camp DC 2011, Center for American Progress, DC

I'm the Guy Who Still Buys CDs

I still buy CDs. Though usually used (and even then, not in a while). I like having the media, even if it comes in a jewel case that takes up too much room and breaks far too easily. And I like the sense of owning something tangible. I'm a product of my upbringing, where the media and the music were inextricably linked.

Anyway, I saw in the Sunday circular that Best Buy was loss-leading this week with Florence and the Machine's Lungs -- I'd had her on my watch list since hearing an NPR feature on her a few months ago, though since then, she's been pretty unavoidable (they keep using the songs in TV show promos).

I was surprised to see that Underworld had a new album out that was also being promoted -- surprised because I thought they'd broken up (they hadn't: I was thinking of Orbital, though they're back together, so I was doubly wrong.)

Anyway, it explains why they're playing the 9:30 Club next month.

So I got both albums.

Tonight, on American Top 40 - The 80s: Cultural Irrelevance

1980 is as far removed from (and as irrelevant to) 2010, as 1950 was to 1980.
We knew this, of course, but the math was particularly obvious as I was listening to the American Top 40 - The '80s rebroadcast from July, 17 1980 tonight on 92.5 WINC-FM.

(We also knew at some level that not all music from the '80s was memorable, but listening to the bottom of the list revealed utterly forgettable turkeys.)

On the one hand, I can empathize with the youngsters of today, having to hear their elders droning on about, say, Culture Club, or early U2, just as we had to put up with folks waxing rhapsodic about Perry Como or Elvis.

At the same time, after you've seen things before, you can't help but see the influences of previous generations, where to the folks who haven't, the influences are so integrated into the landscape that they're transparent.

John Scalzi recently mentioned this in the context of movie remakes; this week's Studio 360 took on '70s disco.

Since storytelling has always drawn from the same archetypal themes that go all the way back to the beginning of shared stories, I find the thematic repetition in music particularly irritating, (and haircuts -- particularly the recurring shag/bowl/Bieber haircut that I'll always place in the 70s, even though it tries to resurface every 20 years or so).

Obvious as it may be, everyone wants to make their own mistakes and put their own stamp on things, so Lady Ga-Ga will continue to be Madonna, and pop/dance music will continue to recycle disco and electroclash (with more AutoTune, which we used to call vocoder)

Things That Are Upcoming

I haven't been to any concerts, and relatively few unconferences for a while. Since it's now officially March (bunny bunny, rabbit rabbit), here are a few upcoming things that I'm looking at for March and beyond (mostly beyond):

* Shamrockfest, Saturday, March 13. Separate entry about this forthcoming.

* TransparencyCamp 2010, Saturday and Sunday, March 27-28, GWU, DC.

* Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Monday, April 5, 9:30 Club. Saw them live from the wings at VirginFest in 2008.

* Hot Lava, Tuesday, April 6, Black Cat. They were one of the openers for Dressy Bessy at the Black Cat. I bought the album. They're pretty good.

* Hirshhorn After Hours, Friday, April 9. First one of 2010. Tickets aren't on sale yet. I haven't been to After Hours or the Hirshhorn for a while.

* Fol Chen, Wednesday, April 14, Rock and Roll Hotel. Have had them on my tourfilter watchlist since I heard about them on NPR.

* The Apples in Stereo, Sunday, April 18, Rock and Roll Hotel.

* The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race, Saturday, May 1. Seems to be the official date, though the American Visionary Art Museum web site hasn't updated it yet.

This would also mark the anniversary, and my first trip back to Baltimore since my car got broken into at last year's race. (Also, I still haven't produced and uploaded the videos I took last year. If I try skating with the homemade fig rig again, I'll need to do something about wind noise.)

* TEDxPotomac, Thursday, May 20. I was at the organizational meeting at BarCamp DC, and have been lurking on the listserv and group since then, though I haven't really done anything for it.

So, it looks like things pick up in the spring. See you then.

A Christmas Miracle (of Sorts) and Christmas Music Musings

GPS trip summary from Christmas Eve:

Wanting to avoid the bulk of the traffic, I left at 7:45pm (though I probably could have done just as well leaving a lot earlier, this being Christmas and not Thanksgiving).

I actually would have left 15 minutes earlier, but a neighbor's guest had gotten his BMW X3 stuck in a plowed snowbank -- isn't traction control supposed to keep that from happening? -- so I spent a few minutes helping to dig them out. Not sure how much I helped, but it felt right.

Anyway, I got in just at 11pm. Total travel time: Three hours and 15 minutes, averaging just under 70mph, which is really good for me. I don't usually go more than 80, the 90.2 max speed shown above notwithstanding -- I only did it to get past a left-lane hog on the 2-lane section of the NJ Turnpike; he keep speeding up to block me when I moved to pass.

Christmas Music in Review
I've gotten detached from Christmas as the years have gone by. I didn't send a single Christmas card this year, and could barely be bothered to stick a suction-cupped decoration light in the window. I guess that you really need kids to keep the full effect.

Another contributing factor is that I don't really listen to music on the radio very much any more, so I don't get to hear much Christmas music. I made an effort to seek out Christmas tunes on the drive up (aided by a dead cassette player keeping me from using my iPod), though it only reinforced the notion that broadcast terrestrial radio sucks (especially in that stretch around Delaware, in the zone between the DC, Baltimore and Philly stations).

Even with on-demand music mooting most of the old-fashioned seasonal rationing of Christmas music, it's still not a real Christmas to me, unless I hear a few classic tunes -- "classic" as defined by what was popular when I was 12-13, those formative years that lock in your childhood tastes:

* My must-hear song is Band Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas? which holds up really well, even with all the "Wow, is that really Bono/Sting/Boy George?" that comes with it.

* Christmas Wrapping, by The Waitresses. I always found it an amusing contrast to their other hit, I Know What Boys Like. It suffers from no lack of airplay.

* Feliz Navidad, by Jose Feliciano. Nothing more needs to said. I also associate it with the Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (they both come from the '70s and the song is used in the special), which I haven't seen in years, but still makes me tear up remembering it.

* A late entrant for me is Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You. While it's a good song, I heard it an inordinate number of times on the drive up.

* A few Christmas songs that are good year round include The Kinks' Father Christmas, U2's version of Baby Please Come Home, The Pogues' Fairytale of New York (the last of which I don't really even think of as a holiday song).

* The Bing Crosby and David Bowie collaboration Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy, which is supposed to be part of the Christmas canon, but I haven't heard it on the air.

* Outliers from the era: Sarah McLachlan and Barenaked Ladies version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings from the 90s and the Beach Boys' Little Saint Nick.

There are a few others -- classic standards, mostly, and some of the lesser 80s songs, like Strange Brew's Bob & Doug Mckenzie's 12 Days of Christmas (though, notably, not Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus Is Coming to Town -- never liked that one), but finally, Christmas for me isn't complete without this song:

The Breeders Notes

The DCist writeup of the Breeders show Friday night at the Black Cat pretty much covers everything (much better pictures, too). Just a few things:

* Had to drive through some fairly torrential rain on the toll road to get there (microburst-y stuff, intense but it cleared up by the time I got on 66). People were going 40 on the highway. It was dicey at times.

* Got good parking just around the corner and got in a bit before they opened the upstairs doors. I got a beer in the Red Room and watched the neat, orderly queue, which featured many folks who had obviously first seen them in the 90s.

* Despite my Tweet early on, it did get pretty full, and might have even sold out.

* The band was solid. They seemed like they were having a lot of fun, too.

* Did not realize at the time that substitute bassist Josephine Wiggs was in the original band, nor that she was also one half of Dusty Trails (a CD I picked up from the 88 cent bin at Sounds on St. Marks a long time ago, and that I listen to a lot)

* Did not get any good photos; was a little too far back. They were also enforcing the "no video" policy with a strobing flashlight (which I was tempted to counter with my own, but didn't)

The Breeders' Kelley Deal on violin, Josephine Wiggs on bass.

* Was gratified that they got Cannonball out of the way early, even if it is a favorite. Hate to see signature songs cloistered away in encores. 9 seconds of it:



* As noted, stood next to some variety of man-child who felt it necessary to incessantly yell "Kelley!!!" as if she had forgotten her name, or was fending off the end of the world.

* They did leave us wanting more, in that the encore was a little lacking. But it was a good show.

Tags: the breeders

Upcoming Things, Starting... NOW

Here's another edition of stuff that's going on, some of which I might go to, others that simply signify that I'm an interesting, multi-faceted cosmopolitan with eclectic tastes, and not an aging surburban homebody:

* The upcoming social media stuff I wrote about in the Network Solutions blog; I won't repeat it all here, except to say that tonight is the Washington Blogger Meetup, 7pm at Madam's Organ (2nd floor.)

I should also make it to TechCocktail DC 6 (8/27); CongressCamp (9/12-13); and probably a few other things that pop up, like the CrisisCampDC meetup at Whitlow's (Saturday, 8/22, 11am... brunch?), Web Content Mavens, and so forth.

* However, I'm not as confident about making it to any of the DC Beer Week events (or even the non-official extensions, like Brew at the Zoo, or even last night's Terrapin beer tasting at Galaxy Hut).

Concerts

* Friday, August 21: The Breeders at the Black Cat. I didn't make the show the last time they hit DC, though when I made noise about it, a startling number of people said "Breeders? Who are they?"

* Wednesday, September 2: Apopytgma Berzerk at the 9:30 Club. I forget where I'd heard of them, only that I'd had the band written on the post-it note in my wallet that used to serve as my used-CD watchlist. I just have one of their early album, but it's good, though their Wikipedia entry suggests they've shifted styles as well as lineups, but who knows.

* Sunday, September 13: Adams Morgan Day Festival. It's on the same day as the second day of CongressCamp; maybe make it a twofer.

* Friday, September 18: Moby, late show at the 9:30 Club. Hrm.

* Wednesday, September 23: KMFDM at the 9:30 Club. I'm not the hugest industrial fan, but I do have a few of their albums (I would get into moods every once in a while.)

October has a bunch of other stuff, including the Raveonettes, Mike Doughty, Crafty Bastards and the Dulles Plane Pull, but all that will come later.

When TV and Movies Enhance Music Appreciation

I find it interesting how hearing a song used as part of a TV or movie soundtrack can strengthen my connection to it, or makes me appreciate it in a whole new way.

The most recent example of this was hearing The Chemical Brothers song, "Alive Alone" (vocals by Beth Orton) during a key moment in the Virtuality pilot (which I actually liked a lot). I was familiar with the song (Exit Planet Dust is an awesome album, to state the obvious), but I can't say that it had any special grip on me. But after seeing it used in the Orion drive detonation sequence (at the 50 minute mark if you watch it online), it made me like it a whole lot more.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Other times include:

* Seeing Soul Coughing's Super Bon Bon during the cold open sequence of an episode of Homicide: Life on the Streets

* When the Propellerheads' Spybreak! plays during the lobby shootout in The Matrix.

* The epic use of Inna Gadda Da Vida during the climax of Manhunter. If you know the scene, nothing more needs to be said. If you don't, well, I pity you.

If the director knows what he or she's doing with the soundtrack, the song will match the tone and content of the scene -- they're using the song to reinforce the impact of the visual and action. (And I guess it also happens with music videos, so nothing new there.) But I still find it interesting how the opposite effect occurs, whereafter you associate the song with the scene.

I guess I'm easily impressed.

If you've got an example of a song that you ended up liking a whole lot more after seeing it used somewhere, feel free to share.

Tags: soundtracks, soul coughing, manhunter, homicide, inna gadda da vida, virtuality, chemical brothers, alive alone, propellerheads, spybreak

Easter Sunday in Koreatown

I went back up to the homestead for Easter weekend. Because I am hellbound, I don't usually make the trek back, so I didn't realize that every Christian-minded person on the Eastern Seaboard makes the pilgrimage up/down I-95. I guess it wasn't too bad.

After a lazy Saturday at home and Sunday services, at Mom's suggestion, we went to NYC to get some Korean food and look at the pretty flowers (alas, Macy's was closed Easter Sunday).

But the food was good -- we ended up at Kum Gang San on 32nd St. in Koreatown, NYC.

We had Bul go ki:

Shot from above:

More photos, including random strangers, and Times Square, in the full set: Easter in Koreatown, 4/12/09.

The trip home was just slightly-below average. Gas in NJ was $1.89 (cash), about 15 cents cheaper than in Virginia, which is par for the course. I made it back in just over four hours, though as I twittered, 95 in Maryland sucked, enough so that I did the 695 swing-around, taking the Key Bridge (which is actually a pretty nice drive, especially if you like refineries).

The drive gave me a chance to catch up on a few NPR Music podcasts, including the Heartless Bastards show from NPR's SxSW concert podcast. I also listened to the Liz Phair 'Exile in Guyville' show from The Troubadour, which was okay, but I thought the accompanying interview was great.

Tags: liz phair, easter

Things That Are Upcoming

A few upcoming DC-ish tech and other things that I'm looking at:

* Wednesday, 9/18, 7pm, September Washington Blogger Meetup, RFD (near the Verizon Center): Last month's meetup was something of a minor fiasco, as we were dealing with the dog days of summer, plus a Web Content Mavens meetup at the same time in the back room. I'll try to set up my laptop around 7pm (towards the back of the main bar); you can also send me a direct message on Twitter, @joelogon.

(Unfortunately, I'll have to miss Trademark 101 at Network Solutions at 6pm -- maybe someone will Utterz it or something.)

* Thursday, 9/18, 6pm, TwinTech II, Avenue (by the Convention Center): Come see if you can tell the NVTC folks from the scruffy startup types.

This conflicts with a kickball game, but seeing as how I jacked my back this week, I will probably go and network/try to pick up loose startup floozies ("Hey baby, I'm a venture capitalist.")

* Wednesday, 9/24 [Multiple]: Social Media Club DC September Meetup -- Social Technologies in Associations and Non-Profits, Fleishman-Hillard, 6pm / Web Content Mavens September Meetup -- Selling Social Networks to Senior Management, RFD, 7pm.

Both seem to be interesting topics (if you're boring, like me), and they're only a few blocks apart. I might try to stop by both.

* Saturday, 9/27, noon to 7pm, Clarendon Day Festival. Oh, it'll be fun, just go.

* Sunday, 9/28, 10am to 5pm, Crafty Bastards, Marie Reed Learning Center at 18th & Wyoming in Adams Morgan. Come for the crafts, stay to gawk at the hipsters.

* Tuesday, 9/30, 9pm, Dressy Bessy, Black Cat.

* Thursday, 10/2, 6:30pm, TECH Cocktail DC 3, 1223. Yes, I'm a mooch. A Web 2.0 mooch.

Looking out a bit further into October, the Heartless Bastards are playing the Black Cat, The Ventures will be at Birchmere. And now that I'm wearing contacts again, I can finally wear a mask or other head-enclosure, so I should start thinking about Halloween (oh, and the DC Zombie Lurch is scheduled for November 1.)

More DC tech-ish stuff at DCTechEvents.com.

That Last Rep Was Probably a Mistake

I jacked my back a little bit at the gym this afternoon. It's okay as long as I don't need to sit on the floor. Or touch my toes.

I was doing squats -- after 6 weeks of doing 20-rep sets, I switched to 5-rep sets (I hadn't been making too much progress anyway -- still haven't conquered the "eating right" portion of things. Though I was able to fit into my suit a couple of weeks ago).

Now, the free weight racks were taken, and I didn't feel like waiting, so I went over to the Smith machine. It locks you into the vertical axis, which was okay for the warmup sets, but it was a mistake for the work set.

The right side of my back had been a little sore, so I was already favoring it a bit. I went for one last rep (I figured out last week that by widening my stance, I could get closer to parallel without making my knee feel funny), when I felt a silent little ping in the lower left part of my back.

I set the weight down in a rapid, but controlled fashion. I did finish the workout in half-assed fashion, but we'll see what Mr. Advil has to say about this tomorrow.

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In other news, the Adams Morgan Street Festival was Sunday, and it was middle-of-summer hot. I walked up and down the hill a few times, ran into Martin, got my usual pad thai and Jamaican beef patty (but no chicken on a stick or steak in a sac), but didn't end up taking any pictures. Not even of the "No curry, no spices" faux-thai stand, the "Pad Thai, Corn Dog" stand, the Madam's Organ festival boycott storefront, or anything else. I was uninspired. That, and thinking about my backlog of photos.

I also spent about an hour in the CD store, at first to cool off, but then looking through the discount racks. Emmet Swimming and Republica for 15 cents each, then taking a flyer on Eiffel 65's Europop, Sister Machine Gun's Burn and Liz Phair's Juvenalia for a buck each, and then two BRMC albums (B.R.M.C. and Howl) for a bit more.

Saturday, caught Chuck Brown at the Kennedy Center Open House (after some GPS- and parking-related misadventures), then went to hang out on U Street for a bit.

Anyway, I think I will take that Advil now.

Evidently, I'm Stuck on Any Pop Song With a "Hey, Mickey" Cheerleader Beat

Here are some of my recent CD purchases, paired with the cross-promotional and marketing opportunities that influenced me into buying them:

The Jesus and Mary Chain, Psychocandy. Sure, I knew them from that one song on The Crow soundtrack, and was overexposed to Just Like Honey thanks to Lost in Translation. But despite prodding, I never really twigged to how much bands I like (or should like) were influenced by them.

Anyway, I finally decided to go to the source (well, I also have Stoned & Dethroned, but that doesn't really count), thinking all the while of that scene from High Fidelity:

In an older entry about Pulp, commenter Sylvia pointed me to UsedCDSearch, which worked out pretty well.

The next two were recent $7.99 loss leaders at Best Buy:

MGMT, Oracular Spectacular. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I was first exposed to this song in a Wonkette item about a supposed (and obviously fake) 'DC Prep' TV series trailer. But it's a catchy tune.

The Ting Tings, We Started Nothing. Again, already aware of them, thanks to the iPod commercial with Shut Up and Let Me Go (which I don't particularly like -- it's kind of annoying), but the Great DJ video interested me greatly when I saw it at DC9 a couple of weeks ago, so I took a flyer on the buzz.

My ears are currently bleeding because I've been listening to That's Not My Name on infinite repeat.

Apparently, all it takes for me to get irrevocably stuck on a pop song is for it to use a "Hey, Mickey" cheerleader beat. (With handclaps. Handclaps are very important.)

It's happened before with Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend (yeah, I've contributed more than a few views to the YouTube video's 100 million views. Hey. Hey. You. You.), although That's Not My Name is a lot more layered.

Though I have drawn the line at the Lil Mama Lip Gloss song, which is saddled by a concept and lyrics too stupid for words.

I guess it's a good thing that there just aren't that many pop songs that rely on the cheerleader beat.

Things That Are Upcoming: DC Fark Party, Music, Matchbox, Meetups & More

Here are a few things I'm interested in. I say this even though I didn't catch a single Fringe show this time around (which I had mentioned), nor did I go see Spiritualized at the 9:30 Club (which I hadn't):

Southern Culture on the Skids at the 9:30 Club, Thursday, 7/28. Doors 7:30pm. $15. I'd never really paid much attention to them, but I'd signed up for a Yep Roc Records freebie and ended up listening to some of their stuff (curse you, Internet marketing!). Alas, I have a potential kickball game on Thursday (weather and playoff victory permitting), so I'm a very tenuous maybe for this.

DC Fark Party (with a scheduled appearance by Drew Curtis), upstairs bar at The Big Hunt, Saturday, 8/2. 8-10:30pm. Free (If you don't eat or drink. Which would be a silly thing to do.) DC Farkers and lurkers of all sorts are expected to attend. (NPR coverage is undetermined at this time.) I'll definitely be there.

Virgin Mobile Festival 2008. Pimlico Race Course. 8/9-8/10. $100/day or $175 for a two-day pass. Premium parking +$25. Chances I will attend: Vanishingly slim, but I had an embarassing empty spot between weeks. Here's a tip: Pay for a parking pass and tailgate -- you can should be able to hear the main stage act from the parking lot.

Social Matchbox DC, at TeqCorner in McLean, Thursday, 8/14, 5-8:30pm. Free. More networking. Try not to swarm the venture capitalists. Also a definite for me, as it's right around the corner from where I'm working.

Suzanne Vega, at Birchmere, Monday, 8/18, 7:30pm. $35. Outlook hazy at this point. Try again later.

August Washington Blogger Meetup, RFD, Wednesday, 8/20, 7pm. Kick in a buck or two towards Meetup costs (and get the wifi for free). I'm planning on attending.

Liz Phair, 9:30 Club, Thursday, 8/28. 7pm doors. $25. I'd like to attend. Not sure at this point. [7/29 update: Sold out now. As Voltaire said, there's a certain inevitable futility in indecision.]

That's it for August so far. September gives us the Dulles Plane Pull (9/6), PodCamp Philly (9/6-9/7), Twin Tech II (9/18), and Crafty Bastards DC (9/28). More updates as events warrant.

Of course, there'll be the usual interspersion of DC Tech Events and so forth.

Kid Rock's "All Summer Long" Is a Terrible, Terrible Song

This is just a followup to my Twitter item on the subject, but I heard the new Kid Rock song on the radio tonight. It's apparently called All Summer Long, and it's also apparently really, really awful.

One might think that a song that mashes up Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London would at least have some humor value associated with it, but the song just plods along, and has some of the worst rhymes I've ever heard.

The song nominally uses an AAB rhyme scheme. But the very first line is problematic:

It was 1989, my thoughts were short, my hair was long.

There's supposed to be a rhyme in there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find it. So the song starts grating from the very beginning.

The second verse also tries to rhyme "sand bar" with "campfire," but that's barely even worth mentioning here.

Then we get to the chorus; here's the AA rhyme:

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things

Yes, a self-rhyme is still technically a rhyme. But it's really grating. And it's also terribly grating.

And of course, it's in the chorus, which means we get to hear it two more times.

Naturally, the song, as terrible as it is, will be a big hit (possibly achieving "song of summer 2008" status), since there's a WWE tie-in and a bunch of bikini girls in the video (I refuse to embed it).

Finally, just to be clear: I don't begrudge Kid Rock his crossover chart success. Picture was kind of schmaltzy but relatively inoffensive -- it was basically his spiritual cover of Islands in the Stream. But this song is just awful.

Tags: kid rock, all summer long

I Fell Asleep to Girls Gone Wild... and Now I Have Steel Drums Stuck in My Head

The headline comes from a twit this morning (I don't like calling them "tweets"), and it's all true: I fell asleep on the couch last night with the TV on, in the heart of late night infomercial hell.

So for most of the day today, I've had the Girls Gone Wild steel drums stuck in my head.

The only way to lose an earworm is to replace it with another; my nuclear option is the Chipmunks version of Achy Breaky Heart (for a while, I wasn't sure it actually existed, or if I'd conjured it up in a particularly bad fever dream -- and even if you haven't actually heard it, you can hear it, right?)

In this case, I was able to ditch it with the Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters version of Tonight You Belong to Me from The Jerk, which is a much sweeter and far more pleasant song to have stuck (you can hear it here -- embedded mp3).

Looking on YouTube, though, there's a very nice version by user ShelleyY -- I've included it below. Enjoy:

Now, to finish a few things and head over to the inaugural Friday Night Live in Herndon.

The Raveonettes at the Black Cat, and a Look at Things That Are Upcoming

Saturday night, I went to see the Raveonettes at the Black Cat. I'd originally tried to make a bigger group outing out of it, but that didn't work out. Especially since the show sold out, and I'd selfishly and short-sightedly only gotten two tickets (and I'd only bought them Saturday afternoon, succumbing to nervousness and something resembling "experience.")

Actually, having that second ticket caused me some measure of consternation; it was simultaneously too much and not enough. Fortunately, Ryan ended up accompanying me, so I didn't end up having to scalp it (which had been a possibility at one point).

After some really bad luck parking, we finally made it inside while the opener was still playing. (Black Acid -- don't know much about them; not bad, though they seemed to be channeling a progression of styles.)

We settled in next to the sound board, where Ryan attempted to put the whammy on the sound guy, by gazing intently on a random section of the board until the sound guy adjusted it:

"My mind to your mind... your thoughts to my thoughts."

Then, the Raveonettes came on -- they split between playing previous hits and stuff off the new album (which I bought at the show). They were pretty tight and sounded fine.

I broke away at one point to try to get some photos -- unlike prior attempts, I only came away with one moderately usable pic:

Sharin Foo

After the show, we headed back to meet up with some folks in Arlington, but by the time we got back, things had pretty much broken up for the night.

Oh, and after some discussion and a little research, I've come to realize that I'd had a mistaken notion of what constituted shoegaze music. I apologize for the (notional) inconvenience.

---

In other news, I had planned on replacing the bathtub faucet handles and spout this weekend -- bought the hardware, the tools and the plumbers grease and all -- but chickened out/got lazy/procrastinated my out of it. I'll get around to it eventually -- originally, I was just going to replace the leaky valve stems, but the hardware is really grody, so I figured it'd be worth it to just change everything. (Sure, I want to convert the master bath to a corner shower unit eventually, but one thing at a time.)

Things That Are Upcoming: Let's see -- Monday is Social Matchbox DC, which is right down the street from where I'm contracting in McLean, so I'll be there.

I haven't seen the cherry blossoms in a few years -- to be honest, it's looking like I'll skip it again this year -- we'll see what the weather and my schedule looks like mid-week.

Friday is Hirshhorn After Hours -- I haven't been to one yet, but it's on my list of stuff to do, especially since the Hirshhorn is my favorite museum.

Saturday, Mike Doughty plays at the 9:30 Club.

Looking out a little further -- PodCampDC is the weekend of April 18th.

The Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race is May 3rd, and the following weekend is SkateDC. Which means I should probably dust off the skates now. (The "getting back in shape" bit of it is optional, though recommended.)

I also registered for June 13th's BlogPotomac. It's only $75 and it's at the State Theatre -- if nothing else, it gives me an excuse to visit the Beach Shack.

The days, they may drag, but the weeks and months just fly on by, don't they?

Tags: raveonettes

Post-Christmas Roundup, Part 1

It took a grueling six hours to drive from New Jersey to Virginia this afternoon.

That includes an hour crawling on the New Jersey and Delaware Turnpikes; two pit stops (including time to brush off a "out of gas, can you help me out" hustle), and about an hour at the Army Ordnance Museum at Aberdeen Proving Ground.

So it actually wasn't all that bad.

Of course, I apparently brought back some sort of cold (although it's possible it's been incubating since Friday) -- I've got a sore throat and the crawly chills all over.

I've got a whole lot of pictures from Christmas Day and the surrounding events that I need to get up, though I really just want to stay horizontal right now. I just watched 300, which I picked up at the Virgin Megastore on Broadway on Christmas Day (hey, it was just about the only thing open) -- after all the buildup, all the hype, I just have to say:

What a visually interesting, overwrought piece of melodramatic crap.

The 300-inspired memes were more interesting than the movie.

Also, yet again, I bought a CD I already own -- Belle & Sebastian's If You're Feeling Sinister (anyone want a free CD)?

At this point, I have to add them to the "make sure you don't already own the CD" list of bands, which includes Throwing Muses, Cocteau Twins, Stereolab, and Mazzy Star (and I've only got two of their albums).

A Grevious Error: No Rap, No Hip-Hop and Ned Devine's Studio 30-Something

I haven't been yet, but apparently Ned Devine's Irish Village in Sterling has a "Studio 30-Something" every Thursday night, where they play "No Rap, No Hip-Hop, Just the Best Music of the 80's and 90's"

Being a child of the 80s and 90s (and at this point, "child" is a term best used loosely), this is of interest to me. However, I find the "no rap, no hip-hop" emphasis a little disturbing, because:

1. It carries vaguely racial connotations.
2. It eliminates a lot of really good party music from that era. (Note that "really good" does not preclude "really cheesy")

Now, assuming that #1 is just an extention of that old saw, "I like every kind of music -- except rap and country" (and why do those two always get lumped together?), #2 is still really troubling, because this blanket prohibition leaves out such 80s & 90s party-rap favorites and proven dance floor fillers such as [artist names link to Wikipedia, song names point to YouTube]:

* Wreckx-N-Effect's Rumpshaker
* Anything by Rob Base (which, er, just means It Takes Two or Joy and Pain)
* Snap!, The Power
* Young MC, Bust a Move
* House of Pain, Jump Around
* Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back
* Sugarhill Gang's Apache (which I've talked about before)
* C+C Music Factory's Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)
* Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby
* MARRS's Pump Up the Volume (which is technically house/dance, but still)
* Tag Team's Whoomp There It Is (I hate this song)

That's an even dozen songs right there. I'm sure you have your own additions.

I'd started percolating on this entry when I first heard the ad on the radio, but it gained additional relevance when I saw this item on Metafilter today: The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love. There's a lot of crossover between the two lists (ooh, The Humpty Dance, good call. O.P.P. -- can't believe I missed that. Though Biz Markie... don't think so.)

Anyway, while I'm sure you could waffle by claiming that some of these are actually house or dance, I submit that no dance night can truly have the "best music of the 80s and 90s" with such a blanket prohibition in place and thus say, "Mr. Ned Devine's, tear down this wall!"

Tags: ned devine's irish village, party rap, 80s, 90s