Thursday, February 20, 2014

If You Don't Hate Me Yet, The Next 90 Seconds Will Change That

Found this in my archives. It's an AOL jingle/song -- not sure if it was ever used anywhere. The style is equal bits Instructional Video Soundtrack and Bible Camp Singalong. Feels like it could have been the background music for a promotional video or the warmup for an all-hands meeting. [Update: A smob claiming knowledge of the particulars said on a Facebook comment, "That was from some message board group back in 1995 - it wasn't AOL sanctioned/created. eWorld was somehow involved but forget why."]

How long do you think you can last? The lyrics are really bad. Trust me, I had to listen in order to transcribe them:

Take your time, go online
Come around and join the party
Take the key, and you will see
That it's fun to hang around.
Go America…
Go America…
Go America Online

Hurry up and check the system
And meet the people and start chatting.
Come on board, come to the show.
Let this family grooooow.


[Keytar solo?]

You need some info so show you've got it
The World Wide Web will make it.
We're all waiting for new friends to be known to
And we hope it will be youuuuuuuu.


Doesn't matter what problems you will get.
Our family will help you.
Doesn't matter how much time it will take.
Take your hands and break through.

[Chorus x 2, ends abruptly.]

If you've got ideas as to when the song was made or how it was used, leave a comment. Take your time, go online...

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