Monday, December 03, 2007

How Do You NOT Kill Yourself With a Sword?

There seems to be an uptick in suicide-by-sword attempts lately (earlier: Des Moines man slashes self -- via Fark), though the latest one, courtesy of DCist, also involves a murder most messy: "Woman Murdered With Samurai Sword In Martial Arts Academy."

They're saying the husband killed his wife and then tried to commit suicide with it (question: did he wipe the blade off first?), though I counsel that we should not rush to judgment, as it's far too early to rule out ninja involvement.

For the conspiracy-minded, I would not rule out a sinister plot to generate fear and public outrage, in an attempt by zombie sympathizers to implement new sword-control laws and deprive us of some of our most-effective anti-zombie weapons prior to the pending zombie apocalypse.


Hammer said...

They can have my samurai sword when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

Joelogon said...

Zis can be arranged, Herr Hammer.

(I don't know why I'm writing like this.) -- Joe