What's typically happened the past couple of years is that I wait until the very last minute, then throw together a really lame costume with whatever it is I've got lying around. (Tyvek jumpsuit, Nomex flightsuit. I'm seem to like long zippers.)
When I even bother with a costume, that is.
In theory, I should be able to make a decent show of things and put together a credible costume. I'm fairly creative. I have some props, gizmos and clothes from the 80s that I no longer care about. Some grease paint leftover from college.
I even own a hot glue gun.
It just never seems to work out, though.
Here's my problem, I think:
* Nothing Pre-Manufactured: Maybe I'm just cheap, but buying a costume seems like cheating.
* No Pun-Based Costumes: You would think as a word guy, I would like punny costumes. "Law suits" and the like. Nope. They just don't do it for me.
* Chronic Procrastination: This is not simply limited to Halloween, of course.
* No Masks: I haven't worn contacts in forever, so that kind of rules out any type of mask.
* Basically Vanilla: This one is the killer. While I like to think of myself as pretty open-minded, it's pretty much all theoretical. Stuff for other people to do.
Halloween is a time for people to let loose and go wild, hidden behind their masks (see above) as they engage in their transgressive behavior (as evidenced by the yearly indignant discovery that the basic format for most female Halloween costumes is "Sexy _______", except when they're "Slutty _______.")
I guess I'm not a very transgressive person.
Anyway, I still have a few weeks left, so maybe I will come up with something this year.