Friday, March 16, 2007

Have I Been Cool Hunted? You Better Hope Not.

Since I'm terminally uncool, this is a hypothetical, but Cool Hunter Street Team: Keep your stupid stickers off my stuff, you conspicuous-consumption, bleeding-edge, fashion-forward, cooler-than-thou hipster douchebags:

Keep Your Coolhunter Stickers Off My Stuff

I swear, you start stickering my stuff as part of your stupid awareness-raising viral marketing campaigns, and I start channeling Francis "Psycho" Sawyer:
"...I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you..."
I do read for a slice of design porn, even if I don't fetishize design like they do and I feel fashion should just fall off a cliff, since they occasionally feature interesting shiny things and frou-frou tchotchkes (when they're not fixating on over-designed concept boutique hotels and resorts which I will never, ever visit-- oh, and hey, while we're at it, a hip-cool advertising campaign is still just fucking advertising).

But if you ever start putting stickers on my stuff, things are going to get really hot and ugly, because the volatile liquids that are usually used to remove adhesive residue are very, very flammable.


Anonymous said...

you don't look like their target audience

Joelogon said...

Well, you're the one doing technorati searches on, I guess you should know, eh?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps these goons have stock in Goo Gone. Look it up if these peckerwoods defile your crap... I would freakin SNAP...LOOOOOSE IT!!!!!