Who Wants a Rocket-Propelled Grenade for Christmas? (I Do! I Do!)

You've seen them in action in Vietnam, Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, and many other Third World Cold War and post-Cold War battlegrounds: Just in time for the holidays -- RPGs (Rocket-Propelled Grenades) for sale!

Launcher not included.

Okay, fine: They're inert warheads for display purposes only. But still.

Tags: rpg, tapco

Who Shames the Shamers?

Hey, look kids -- some of my office refrigerator note photos (it's a Flickr pool, feel free to contribute) are featured on Passive Aggressive Notes today.

My photos all came from various AOL Dulles fridges. I'd corresponded with the proprietor of Passive Aggressive notes before. There's apparently quite a community going on in the comments over there (which are threaded, or at least nested, which is nice).

Anyway, yay me.

I Knew I Should Have Gotten Out While I Had the Chance

Yes, it snowed today. No pictures -- just your standard snow scenes, maybe 3 inches or so -- some wet and heavy stuff earlier this afternoon, followed by powder.

Now, I should have gone out to get coffee and wifi this afternoon, because I've been kind of a hermit since Monday. (Well, I did meet a homeschooled kid as I was shoveling the walk today.)

I didn't go out yesterday -- I was going to do Dr. Dremo's for Psychotronic movie night, but even though they've got just over a month left in their current location, I just couldn't get psyched for Manchurian Avenger. (Life imitates the Onion yet again, perhaps: See "Aging Gen-Xer Doesn't Find Bad Movies Funny Anymore.")

So instead of cheap beer and bad movie, I stayed in and had free beer (well, paid-for, anyway) and good movie (Battlestar Galactica: Razor, plus a few episodes I'd taped around Thanksgiving).

Today, I'd planned on going to a grip-and-grin for us involuntary alumni at the outplacement center, but as little as it snowed today, I'm not going to go driving after it freezes over. (And having a drink or two is especially out.)

This sounds kind of pathetic, so I'll just say that I've got a couple things lined up through the end of the week.

Beef Tendon, Chicken Feet, and Pig's Knuckles

I know no one cares what I had for lunch, but I this combination is a little different (for starters, it is very brown):

Beef tendon, chicken foot, pig's knuckles. Over rice.

I have to thank Mom for this particular combination. I brought all this -- and more -- back from home after Thanksgiving, and I'm trying to finish it before it walks away.

I don't have beef tendon all that often. It's very... chewy. And I can't say I'm that big a fan of chicken feet (too much effort, not enough payoff). But the pig's knuckles (a.k.a. pig's feet)... the way my mom makes them? Good stuff.

I don't eat it too often, though -- that stuff'll kill ya.

---

In other news, lots of folks are talking about the AP story on the report that says Washington Leads Metro Areas in Walkability. Ballston figures prominently, though I also enjoyed this quote:

"Leinberger attaches one major caveat to his report: The survey did not take into account the size of each walkable place. For example, midtown Manhattan is given the same weight as Reston Town Center, a lifestyle center outside Washington, even though the latter has only a tiny fraction of the office and retail space, residential units, and hotel rooms of midtown."

The only way Reston Town Center could compare to Manhattan would be if you limited the comparison to the Manhattan Mall.

My own particular pied a terre in Reston isn't really walkable (mostly because I am lazy), though that may change with the high-rises going up down the road (and if Metro ever gets out here).

The whole walkability issue is particular relevant when you look at the Tyson's Tunnel debate -- if the tunnel isn't going to be a viable solution (due to the need to secure federal funding), is there still a way to build walkable, high-density, mixed-use neighborhoods? I'm not an urban planner, but I'm hoping someone can figure out a way to do it.

Tags: pig's knuckles, pig's feet, walkability

How Do You NOT Kill Yourself With a Sword?

There seems to be an uptick in suicide-by-sword attempts lately (earlier: Des Moines man slashes self -- via Fark), though the latest one, courtesy of DCist, also involves a murder most messy: "Woman Murdered With Samurai Sword In Martial Arts Academy."

They're saying the husband killed his wife and then tried to commit suicide with it (question: did he wipe the blade off first?), though I counsel that we should not rush to judgment, as it's far too early to rule out ninja involvement.

For the conspiracy-minded, I would not rule out a sinister plot to generate fear and public outrage, in an attempt by zombie sympathizers to implement new sword-control laws and deprive us of some of our most-effective anti-zombie weapons prior to the pending zombie apocalypse.

Tags: ninja involvement, sword suicide, zombie apocalypse, sword control, zombie sympathizers

Two Dumb Ideas to Improve Congress: Remote Voting and Random Drug Testing

Today's Post article on the upcoming legislative calendar ("A Daunting 3 Weeks Ahead for Congress") has this gem about how the travel schedules of the presidential candidates are throwing a wrench into actual lawmaking:

"In the Senate, where schedules are famously unreliable, leaders have to jump at any opportunity to hold final votes. On Nov. 8, at 11 p.m., when such a window opened suddenly to confirm Michael B. Mukasey as attorney general, not one of the five presidential candidates was on hand to vote.

[...]

Even before the sprint to the Iowa caucuses, the senator-candidates have been increasingly absent from the chamber. McCain has missed more than 53 percent of roll call votes this year and has not cast a single vote since Oct. 24. Biden, Dodd and Obama have missed more than a third of all votes this year, according to washingtonpost.com's congressional database. Clinton has missed just 18 percent of votes, but was on hand for only three days of voting in the month leading up to the Thanksgiving recess."

This is nuts. Are we still living in a world where messages travel via horseback?

To remedy this, I suggest that we allow remote voting for members of Congress. Naturally, you'd need to enforce some kind of limits, and to ensure some measure of transparency, you might require telepresence or secure videoconferencing.

I'm sure others can tell me how many people have previously suggested this and why it's a bad idea.

In return for this revolutionary measure to ease the lives of members of Congress in the 21st century (no doubt linked to generous contributions made to me by the electric telegraph and horseless carriage lobbies), I would extract one significant concession:

Mandatory Drug-Testing for All Members of Congress.
Naturally, a testing regime would have to be ironed out, but there would be regularly scheduled drug tests, with additional random tests to keep members of Congress... honest.

If members of Congress objected to the indignities of monitored urine tests (though I don't see why any patriotic, non-drug abusing person would -- I think the American voting public has the right to know that their representatives are not voting under the influence of illegal drugs), they could make provisions for using hair tests (which have the bonus of substantially longer detection windows).

I've never had to take a drug test either for school or work, but it always irked me that the people who said mandatory drug testing was such a great idea were rarely the people who actually had to piss in cups.

So in the grander scheme of things, if you're a legislator, elected official, school administrator, athletic commissioner, senior executive, whatever -- if you're pushing for mandatory drug testing, you also have to undergo mandatory drug testing.

Mandatory drug testing in return for remote voting. What say you?

(Because of the ridiculous pre-emptive presidential primary scheduling situation, I was going to throw in a third idea about how a state's position in the primary schedule should be determined by its number of electoral votes -- with the states with the fewest votes going first -- but that's already been covered by people more politically in tune than me.)

Tags: mandatory drug testing, congress

NaBloPoMo Is No Mo'

This year's official edition of National Blog Posting Month is done with -- I successfully completed the quota, and while I didn't resort to any filler posts (well, maybe just one), I didn't tackle most of the more substantive entries I've been percolating on.

I do appreciate the imposed deadline, even if it was just as simple as "one a day." I usually work better with deadlines, even arbitrary ones. But it'll be good to not worry about it for a while.

I do want to do keep to at least 5 substantive entries a week. And by substantive, I mean that right now, I have probably two dozen draft Blogger entries, ranging from hot drafts that just need a litle further refinement, to rapidly cooling ones that will age out and go to the bottom of the pile until a new current event hook comes by to make them relevant again.

I also still have to process my NYC pics from last week, answer a meme I was tagged for, and recategorize my blog and pick a new template for it. (As well as deal with, you know, real life.)

The re-doing of the blog categories is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, which is why I keep putting it off. It's a challenge that's partly taxonomic, partly aspirational. I'll will try talking it out a little bit more in the blog.

Tags: nablopomo

Today Are Crazy Sex Day, Plus 35 Is NOT Middle-Aged and Racewalking From Samurai

* Grammar Nazis and Crazy Sex Day: From today's Sinfest comic:

Sinfest's Slick: "If I was president every day would be Crazy Sex Day."

While I am something of grammar and spelling purist, I don't consider myself a "Grammar Nazi" -- I'm more of a, um, "Grammar Youth." Possibly a Grammar Detective -- part of the Grammar Police, only undercover: observing, gathering evidence, building a case.

* 35 Is Not "Middle-Aged." (Dammit): A news item of no particular consequence about a 35-year-old guy who allegedly blackmailed a 20-year-old MySpace friend into having sex (after she revealed that she'd had a three-way -- well, it just says she engaged in sexual acts with them, so I will believe what I want to believe -- with two college hockey players that she thought might have been videotaped).

Okay, maybe there's some particular consequence here (*furiously taking notes*). But the Fark headline from which this story comes reads:

"If you're a middle-aged fat guy looking to pick up college chicks, this local paper has a step-by-step guide... if you don't mind the ensuing jailarity. (with mugshot goodness)"

Besides the usual snark, there's a sidebar discussion in the comments as to what constitutes "middle age," with a lot of vociferous protestations and denial from fellow mid-30s oldsters.

As I'm going to live forever (also, I'm going to learn how to fly -- high!), I must also add my note of protest.

* Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run (Samurai Edition): Lastly, here's a video (via BoingBoing) that asks and answers the question: When chased by sword-wielding samurai, would a champion racewalker walk or run?

Bonus: Remember this video the next time you sit in a massage chair.

Tags: sinfest, grammar nazis, middle age

Social Media Clubbing

Heading over now to an event in Falls Church (I'm going to be late, evidently) -- it's a meeting of the DC chapter of the Social Media Club.

Since we're in the penultimate day of NaBloPoMo, I wanted to get a quick entry in to make sure I didn't mess up so close to the finish line. I'll post more after.

Bloggers Need Free Photos Cuz They Ain't Making Any Money

Two bloggy items -- first, somehow, I don't think this is gonna work: Corbis offers bloggers free photos, with ads:

"The photos will either include an ad overlay on part of the image, or embedded advertising that pops up when a Web user runs a cursor over the picture."

An example, based on what's at the PicApp blog.

Okay, say I really, really, really need a piece of stock art that I can't get anywhere else, and I'll put up with an embedded ad. What powers Corbis' embedded advertising? Flash. Yes, why embed a mere photo in your page, when you can have a Flash widget that looks like a photo, but also serves up a text ad?

Look, unlike some steal anything/share everything folks, I do believe in some theoretical way for content creators to maintain some level of control over their content or even get paid for the use of it (even if I Creative Commons license most of my own photos). But this is just crap.

Good luck with that, Corbis.

Oh, and they also mention potential revenue share, based on clicks to the photo. That leads to item #2...

...from Read/WriteWeb, There's No Money In The Long Tail of the Blogosphere, which smacks down some of the Web 2.0 long-tail sloganeering and says that, while long-tail content aggregation companies may be able to make money, don't expect long-tail content providers (regular folk) to do so. In other words:

"You can make money on the long tail but not in the long tail."

Sounds about right. Hey, apparently (well, according to a throwaway line in Heinlein's The Rolling Stones) the fortunes to be made during the California Gold Rush didn't come from the gold-rushing prospectors, but rather to the merchants who provided products and services to them.

And for all those get-rich-quick bloggers -- unless you find a niche (and you're a first-mover, at that), don't expect to make any money. (I used to cover my hosting nut with Google Adsense ads -- mostly from clicks on my platonic friends pages -- though that hasn't happened for a while.)

But wait -- aren't we in this for ourselves? At the very minimum, aren't we participating in the broader sphere o' blogs, staking out a spot in the global communication? Sure we are. But blogging is time and time is money. I barely pulled a C in econ, but that sounds like an opportunity cost to me -- if I spend 10, 20, or whatever hours a week blogging, when I could be using that time to earn money, at what point does it stop making economic sense to blog (or at least to cut back)? How much is ego-stroking or a creative outlet worth?

Tags: long tail, picapp, corbis, stock photos

A Pocket Full of Lithium-Ion DEATH

Saw this story in Slashdot today:

Exploding cell phone battery may have killed South Korean man: officials

"SEOUL, South Korea: An exploding cell phone battery may have killed a South Korean man, police said Wednesday, although the phone's manufacturer said it was highly unlikely.

[...]

Kim Hoon, a doctor who examined the body, said the death was probably caused by an explosion of the battery.

"He sustained an injury that is similar to a burn in the left chest and his ribs and spine were broken," Yonhap news agency quoted Kim as saying." [emphasis mine]

Okay, so we know that cell phone and other types of batteries have been known to explode. But if your spine breaks due to an exploding cell phone battery, one of two things happened:

1. The cell phone was attached to a block of plastic explosive (because you were making an IED).
2. You were driving, the phone blew up, and you drove into a tree. (Falling off a high ledge or scaffold would also work.)

As a commenter noted, you have to remember that many South Korean doctors also believe that running an electric fan in a closed room will kill you.

Obviously, something else happened here. But you know, I'm thinking that anything to moderate the pace of cell phone usage (especially loud, public cell phone usage) may not be a bad thing.

Tags: exploding batteries, fan death

I'm Laughing, But I'm Really Crying Inside

Another blog-focused Pearls Before Swine today:

Rat tells Goat why he likes blogs.

Bonus, via lots of places: Entire Blogosphere Stunned By Blogger's Special Weekend Post.

In other news, I'm doing laundry and listening to the oldies station (to be fair, "oldies" ain't what it used to be -- it's just classic rock).

If I get ambitious, I may reorganize my linen closet, which is demonstrating severe entropic decay.

I did have a meeting over coffee this morning, though, so all is not lost.

As if I Needed Another Reason to Hate You

It's not enough that you're glued into the passing lane like you own it, and that you're physiologically incapable of moving out of it, no matter how many cars are stacked up behind you or how many times you're passed on the right. (I'm thinking it's a genetic trait, but I also consider environmental factors, such as having a Maryland license plate.)

Oh no.

You also have to be sporting a "9/11 Was an Inside Job" bumper sticker.

I'm a little surprised I was able to resist the urge to PIT your car and run you off the road.

---

I got a late start on the road this afternoon. (One of the benefits of joblessness is being able to extend a holiday weekend to avoid traffic.) I'd wanted to leave at noon so I could go see the tanks at the Army Ordnance Museum in Aberdeen, or maybe visit the NSA Museum, but one thing led to another and I didn't get moving until about 3pm.

Just in time for DC rush hour, yay.

Anyway, I made it back. I liberated my sister's old Mac Classic to add to my own junk pile/hardware museum, as well as a few other things. Now back to the non-work.

This Is a Quick Post to Stay Legal for NaBloPoMo

Tales of wild, wacky exploits in the big city to come.

Okay, now that that's out of the way. I came into Manhattan. I got a burger with t33pee at the Burger Joint. We went to other places, including the Time Warner mall and the Apple Store. I then went to the Blind Tiger. A good time was had by all. (Except those of us who did not show.) Photos will come eventually.

Getting My Mind Out of the Gutter

I spent a couple of hours up on a ladder this afternoon, cleaning the gutters at my parent's house.

Normally, it doesn't take very long at all -- they had the Gutter Helmet installed a few years ago, and it usually works pretty good.

However, after I went up, I saw that there were a couple of birds' nests up in there, jamming things up. And because the opening for the water is so small, it was pretty tricky trying to pull out the nests a little bit at a time.

The front gutter downspout was jammed up pretty good, and that's the side next to the power line, so I had to be extra careful. Though I wasn't too careful to avoid dropping the cleaning stick (an old rake prong) into the gutter.

I finally unscrewed the screw holding the downspout so I could clean it out the leaves, grass, and muck clogging it up. I put the screw on the roof. Guess what happened next.

Since the rusty brown screw disappeared after falling 20 feet into the grass, we cannibalized another screw from lower down and got everything back together.

I was kind of glad to finally get off the ladder.

Tags: gutters, gutter helmet