Helpful Household Hints

* When disposing of a sodden, chewed-out toothpick by crumbling it out of an open car window traveling at speed, there is a better than average chance that the shredded remains will re-enter the car and end up covering the back seat.

* If one discovers a puddle of coffee at the base of a brew-into-cup coffeemaker after each use, one should check to see that the coffee filter body is seated firmly in its enclosure before attempting to use it again.

Pizza Time

Came in from a night of liquid refreshment and needed a snack, so I took a slice of leftover pizza and put it in the oven.

I don't really recall what happened after that, but the next morning, there was a carbonized slice in a cold oven. Careful reconstruction of events indicates that I probably turned off the oven when the slice was mostly (but not quite) warmed and promptly forgot about it.

So I torched a slice, but at least I didn't burn my house down.

Washing Out

Got out insanely early from work yesterday (6:30ish) so I could skate on the W&OD trail since it was such a nice day. Went about 8 miles in an hour (285 calories), then went to the office gym and did the stairclimber for 20 minutes (180 calories), then jumped rope for about 7 minute (70 calories).

The dumb thing is, on the way home, I stopped by Baja Fresh. Despite the fact that I cooked healthy chicken dishes for the week on Sunday. Got a chicken Baja Burrito (800 calories). Ate half.

Including the accompanying chips, that pretty much negates my workout.

Oh Snap

Was fiddling with the antenna on my long-suffering phone to try to bend it back into shape.

*Snap*

An Outrageously Stupid Thing I'm Kinda Glad I Did

So last Friday, I went to Carpool to meet up with a friend, whose friend was guest bartending. Got there after they'd left, but that's a secondary issue. There were two staffers at the door carding people. I get out my wallet and go to pull out my driver's license when one of the bouncers waves me in, so I go in.

I'm inside looking around for someone I know, when it hits me: my license wasn't in it's usual slot. So I start looking through my wallet.

I don't have my license.

I spend the next two hours searching the car, driving around, retracing my steps. The sushi restaurant. The gym. The locker room. The other locker room where I showered because they were cleaning the first one. The office. Called Corey; maybe I left it in his car, or it was jolted out of my pocket during a particularly hard stop (clutching at straws here). No luck. Maybe some miscreant stole my license out of my wallet when I was in the shower (it's the one time I hadn't locked my locker because no one was left). Oh no, what if it's the cleaning staff, do I want to start making accusations?

Finally gave up and went to the Virginia DMV Web site to find out about getting a replacement license. Start getting anxious because they've put in new anti-fraud measures that require things like a passport (check) and original birth certificate (uh-oh). Decide to worry about it in the morning.

Driving home, start thinking about any other places I used my wallet (lots) or used my license (fewer). Let's see, work backwards: Thursday, didn't go out to DC. Wednesday was at Galaxy Hut, no, they know me. Tuesday at Vienna Inn -- that was with kickball folks, so didn't get carded. Monday...I don't think I went out Monday. Sunday...went tubing, didn't need my licen...wait a second. I went for a bike ride after getting back, and I usually pull my license out and stick it in my pocket so they can identify my body if I pull a wilson and get hit by a truck...nah, I couldn't...didn't I?

I find my shorts (swimsuit, actually) in the "to be washed" pile, and, yep, there's a plastic rectangle in the back pocket. Also eight soggy dollars in front. I guess I was distracted after my ride because of some guy in a van who was yelling something unintelligible at me through a bullhorn as he drove past me on my bike (and whom I saw 2 minutes later in the parking lot of my complex, hah).

So, it turns out that I've been going around for 5 days without proper ID. Good thing I didn't go into DC on Thursday with Paulie...it would have been a long, shameful trip back.

Tube Rash

On Sunday, went tubing on the Potomac, starting near Harper's Ferry. Great day for it, low 80s, dry. Only complaint is that I have friction burns on the insides of my forearms, from rubbing against the sides of the tube while paddling.

Phone Home

Went to Carpool last night. Friend of mine said a friend of his was guest bartending, but neither of them were there, which means I misheard them and they were actually over at Jimmy's. Oops.

Ran into some other folks though (kickballers and others), so I hung out with them. However, as I was leaving, I realized that I didn't have my phone. I'd been hanging out at a few tables, so I didn't bother looking for it since I figured it would turn up. Besides, it's of limited utility, since I ended up using Liquid Nails to glue the battery in permanently.

When I got home, I called and left myself a message; got a call a little while later from a guy who found it, which was cool. Except he also called Mom & Dad, so I got a call from them later on asking what was going on.

Orange Juice Is Not a Solid

Went on a bike ride a few weeks back; filled my water bottle with 1/4 orange juice, 3/4 water. Drank most of it, but not all of it. Forgot to clean it out. Checked it yesterday; there was a nice mold colony floating in it. I think it had achieved the use of primitive tools but not yet written language.

Pre-Empting Future Metro Dumbness

You can't eat on the Washington Metro (the subway, for everyone else). They're pretty anal about it, and have this bad habit of cuffing & arresting transgressors, like 12-year-old girls, etc. Anyway, they just did it again, and there's a Dumb Quote from the article (which I won't link to, due to Dumb Online Newspaper Registration):

"Chewing is eating."
-- Lisa Farbstein, Metro spokeswoman

Diet Vanilla Coke Does Not Go With Apple

FYI: Do not introduce liquids into your Apple Pro Keyboard.

Digital Life vs. Real Life

If all has gone well, there is a package from Amazon on my doorstep that contains 3 seasons worth of Aqua Teen Hunger Force & Sealab: 2021. This is part of an ongoing trend where I am apparently sublimating all of my other desires into the purchase of DVDs. Said DVDs (both new and now used) are piling up at a rate where it is unlikely I will be able to view them all before the format is made obsolete.

Examples from the queue: The Dreamers, Bend It Like Beckham, Y Tu Mama Tambien, A Mighty Wind. I just knocked off Lost in Translation, which I liked a lot...a lot better than The Virgin Suicides, which fortunately I do not own.

And Best Buy has another 2 for $20 thing going on. Dammit.

Ooops, Sorry Jeffy

Repeat offender time -- an undocumented feature of the LG 5250 cellular phone is that, when sat upon, it will dial up a friend of yours who lives on the West Coast, providing an impromptu wakeup call when it happens at 9:30am ET.

Roll Up for the Magical Mystery Sun-Oof

Went to lunch with Corey today. It was relatively nice, so I had the sunroof open and the driver's window down. After parking, I was sure to remember to close the sunroof. So sure, in fact, that I neglected to roll up the completely open driver's window.

After a nice lunch, we came back to the car. I say the distinctive lack of glint on the completely open driver's window, and my first thought was: "Gee, I really hope there's broken glass all over the driver's seat because someone smashed my window in, because that would mean I'm a crime victim and not an idiot," but it was not to be.

Strawberry Taste Explosion

Picked up some Popeye's for dinner last night. 3 piece, with mashed potatoes, completed with strawberry soda.  As I was getting out of the car, I picked up the cup from the top, and the lid slipped, causing sticky strawberry soda to spew forth.  Icky.

Thunderbirds Are...Not Go

I write the content for a weekly alert that goes out to members, highlighting some of the new Buddy & SuperBuddy Icons. It's HTML, so I use Homesite. The format doesn't change much, so I clone the prior week's version and update the content. Only this time I forgot to change one of the destination URLs, and because of a deadline, didn't doublecheck all the links. So what should have been a link to Thunderbirds movie icons was instead a link to rapper Lloyd Banks & other hip-hop icons.