So the outside line person didn't come on Saturday.
Came around on Sunday. I had been planning to go to the Adams-Morgan Festival, but I was so very, very tired.
Turns out that the line was never properly grounded (which is probably why my phone got fried a year or two back after a lightning strike), though that's probably incidental.
Oh, and there's a problem with the underground splice. Probably.
What's that mean? Well, they have to call Miss Utility, wait a few days, get everything marked, dig shit up, and eventually fix something. Probably get it all wrapped up in a week or so.
I give up.
Have I mentioned I'm one of only three people left in America who doesn't have broadband at home? Which means I'm cut off.