Friday, April 29, 2005

From Last Night's Kickball

* I got moved up in the batting order to third. To celebrate this fact, I kicked the ball with my left foot. This was not my intent; it's not my strong foot. In fact, not even my right foot is my strong foot, it's my less-weak foot. I popped it up for an easy out.

* While playing third, during a spectactularly botched series of fielding lapses, I managed to move myself out of position, to be forced to watch as 7 or 8 runners ran by.

Well, it felt like 7 or 8, anyway.

* Also while playing third, threw a runner out (you're allowed to peg the runner). This was not, in and of itself dumb (in fact, it was a good toss, if I do say so myself) -- the dumbness comes in because I was yelling as I did it (and didn't realize it until afterwards).

Here is an actual game photo:

War Face

Needles to say, we lost the game.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Things They Should Tell You on CSI

When sitting under a black light, it is useful to know that lint and fuzzies on a dark shirt fluoresce brightly so as to make it look like one has a really severe case of dandruff.

I won't even talk about discolored patches of unknown provenance on one's jeans.

Reason to Get a Haircut #3

Backing out of my parking spot at 9 this morning, I didn't properly check my right side.

I believe that the hair is starting to interfere with my peripheral vision.

Plus, I didn't look all that carefully, since really: who else is leaving at the slack-ass hour of 9am?

Of course, 2 horn blares tell me that I nearly backed into another car.

Bonus: I had to follow the other driver out, and since we live in the same development, I will probably see her in the future.

Very uncomfortable.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Lack of CTRL

One of Murphy's Laws of Combat (in all its various incarnations) is: If it's stupid and it works, it isn't stupid.

Consider:
Lack of Control

My pinkies still hurt when I type. It's definitely the typing that's doing it, since my hands get better over the weekends.

So, I'm trying to be an 8-fingered typist, but I figured out that my use of the CTRL keys is killing me, especially when sending IMs (which we tend to do around here).

So, I took off my control keys.

I'll let you know if it's stupid or not.

World's Shortest Workout

Went to the gym today for the quarterly workout.

That's once a quarter, whether I need it or not.

Changing in the locker room: t-shirt, spandex compression shorts (bike pants), gloves, sneakers, water bottle.

Hrm, no socks. That's okay, I'm wearing white tube socks.

Going to try the Shuffle today, too, don't usually work out wearing headphones.

Why would I not have socks? Oh, I know, I raided my gym bag for last week's kickball game, and afterwards I threw them in the laundry.

Along with my shorts.

Now, there are certain types of people who can work out at the gym wearing only compression shorts.

They're called "women."

I ended up taking a shower anyway (was getting a little gamey by then) and leaving.

Wrong Way

Went to a party in Springfield on Saturday. Got directions from Mapquest.

Surprisingly, I did not get lost at any point, and made it to the house on the first go.

Left as the party was winding down, about 1AM. Simple enough to reverse the directions to get back onto the Beltway.

Except the second turn was back onto a one-way street.

1AM, leaving a party, making a U-turn on a one-way street.

Yup, that looks good.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I Am Not Alone

Dumb things other people have done:

The Oops List -- mostly aviation-related. Like, crashes & stuff.

The Naval Safety Center -- dedicated to preventing dumb things from happening. Good luck.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Pro-Choice

I refuse to believe that I have allergies.

Instead, I choose to believe that I just get sick at certain times of the year.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Rip != Burn

<joelogon> hrm
<joelogon> I think I need to find and burn my soundgarden cds
<t33p33> you have come to a conclusion?
<t33p33> re:soundgarden?
<joelogon> indeed
<joelogon> I said burn, didn't I
<joelogon> I meant rip
<t33p33>ah
<voidmstr> burn babby burn
<t33p33> burn goes the other way
<joelogon> i am dum

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Monday, April 11, 2005

Rejection

Inspection Rejection Sticker

Car failed inspection.

Bad tire.

Not unexpected.

Tirerack, here I come.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Gob Stopped

I was in Target, buying the previously mentioned Altoids Gum.

They also had "movie theater size" boxes of Wonka & other candy.

Not that I've ever seen a 7 ounce movie theater.

Although some of the screens in the multiplexes have come close.

So, I bought Spree, Nerds & Gobstoppers.

That's significantly more than a pound of sugar-coated sugar.

I note, though, that the Gobstoppers are a lot smaller than they used to be.

Previously, they were the size of gumballs. When I used to keep a jar of gumballs on my desk, I used to joke that I would mix in Gobstoppers with them.

Now, they're the size of marbles.

Not the shooter kind.

Dangers of Ergonomic Seating

As if I wasn't hobbled enough typing with the pinky thing, I just caught my left ring finger in the adjusting armrest of my chair, putting a nice slice (shallow, but annoying) into the tip.

Cost-Benefit Analysis

iPod Shuffle Cases (various) = $17-$40

Altoids Gum Tin
Altoids Gum Tin = $1.50

Unibit Step Drill Bit

One Unibit Step Drill Bit (for drilling holes in thin metal or plastic) = $17.00

Pinkie Pledge

Both of my pinkies hurt when I type.

Tendonitis or something, I suppose.

All that control keying and backspacing.

I will have to be an 8-fingered touch typist for now.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Giant Dumbness

The deli counter at the local Giant (supermarket) has implemented a Take-a-Number system.

However, they seem to by applying it randomly, at least in the off-hours, which is when I typically go.

97? (Silence.) 98? (Silence.) 99? (Silence.) 100? (Silence.)

Anyway, I got mine -- asked for some smoked turkey, shaved.

What they call shaved here is what I call "sliced thin" anywhere else that has a real understanding of cold cuts.

When I got home, I saw that in this case, "shaved" is closer to "shredded."

Monday, April 04, 2005

Dark Glasses

My sunglasses have been missing for a few weeks.

They're not ordinary sunglasses, which I can't wear since I wear glasses.

They're magnetic clip-ons.

I wore my thrift-store sport jacket today.

I haven't worn it for a few weeks.

You can see how this ends.