Saturday, November 19, 2005

Why Con Air Is a Leading Contender for the Worst Movie of All Time

Any reasonable moviegoer will know that Con Air is a horrible, horrible movie.

It's loud and obnoxious, makes no sense, is poorly written with easily avoidable plot holes, and is just outrageously and unapologetically stupid.

But that's not why it's one of the worst movies I can think of.

Now, I'm not a Jerry Bruckheimer hater. He's produced some solid flicks and TV series.

I also don't have much of an opinion of director Simon West.

(Michael Bay, on the other hand, is an abomination. He is a leading reason why I think all people named Bay must be sent away to reeducation camps. Well, him and Jim Bay.)

The reason why it's one of the worst movies I can think of is because it's a phenomenal waste of a stellar cast.

We've got Nicholas Cage. John Malkovich. John Cusack. Steve Buscemi (who is actually pretty good). Ving Rhames. Oh, and Dave Chappelle, Colm Meaney, Mykelti Williamson, & Danny Trejo.

With a cast that good, to be in a movie that retarded, is criminal.

And yeah, I did see it in the theater.

It was only a matinee, fortunately, or else I might have hurt someone (else).

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