I See Dead People

Misspelled "cemetery" (added an ary) in a promo; it had been up a few days.

Also, I always have to think for a few moments when try to spell "misspell," though if I get it wrong I can always claim I was being ironic.

Posited: Malls Engender Dumbness

Went to the mall for lunch and a shoe shine. After coming in out of the sun, I put my clip-on sunglasses in my front pocket. Later, I kneeled over to tie my shoe, which bent the sunglasses pretty good.

I bent them back, but between metal fatigue and the fact that I keep dropping them, I don't expect them to survive for much longer.

Also, as I got into my car to leave, I noticed some unusually high ambient noise and other external sounds, not normally heard inside a closed car. Upon a brief but throrough investigation, I discovered the source of the sounds was the fully-open passenger-side window, which I had rolled down because of the unseasonably high temperatures today.

*Whoosh*

We were soundly thrashed in kickball last night by the league champions. They had a good (but not overpowering) offense, decent defense, and phenomenal pitching -- fast, hard, with a lot of spin.

In my sole at-bat, I got out on fouls (four foul balls is an out). In and of itself, that's not that dumb, but for the fact that, of the four times I touched the ball, only one of those touches was intentional.

One pitch just hit my leg, which was good, because otherwise I would have struck out.

Skip Rope

Apparently, the arm motions from jumping rope also exacerbate the shoulder thing.

WASD is making me SAD

My left shoulder has been bugging me for a while now. I switched mouse hands, which usually does the trick, but not this time. I figured out it's probably from FPS gaming (W-A-S-D keys to move). I should probably stop for a while (I'm not very good, anyway), but it keeps sneaking in.

Road Killer

Lately, I seem to be running over every small dead mammal on the road.

Vodka, Triple Sec, Rose's Lime, Gum

Was at Carpool in Arlington to celebrate my friend Pat's birthday. Shots were had, as tends to happen on a birthday. A group of us were having kamikaze shots. I forgot to properly secure my gum, and swallowed it.

I Must Have Been Dreaming

Bought "The Dreamers" on DVD (used). Didn't see until afterwards that it was the R version, not the original NC-17 version.

Almost a Very, Very, Very Bad Night

Tuesday was kickball night. Got to the field with the usual accoutrements: bug spray, cell phone, water bottle, cleats. Oh, and keys, of course. Met up with the team at an open space by the fields, where we got our t-shirts (4 weeks late) and started warming up.

The game was about to start, so I gathered up my stuff and moved over to our spot. As I was walking, noticed my keychain looked a little odd.

Now, I carry a lot of stuff on my keychain: keys, Arc AAA flashlight, mini-Swiss Army Knife, Spyderco Ladybug, etc.

I also have a Traser Glowring, which is a nifty little tritium device that will glow in the dark for 10 years straight, and is especially useful if you, say, drop your keys in the grass as it's starting to get dark.

They come in different colors. They're also a little hard to get in the US, because of the, um, Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Anyway, I use a small carabiner to keep it all together, which usually works great, because I can clip it to the edge of my pocket (or my shorts, if I don't have any pockets.) It also makes it easy to take things off and switch things around. I have my car keys and remote on a separate ring, so they can come off together.

Here's the biner (life size):

As I continue looking at my keychain, I see that my car keys aren't on the biner.

That is very, very, very bad.

Especially since I've been running around in a field.

Oh, and the handy glow-in-the-dark glowring is on the part of the keychain that isn't lost.

I start retracing my steps, but the game is about to start.

I spend the next few innings worrying, trying to play, and scurrying around searching, asking people to look out for my keys, when I'm not at bat.

Eventually, word gets back to us that someone's found some Mazda keys.

And we won the game.

*Squeak* *Squeak* *Scrape* Shit.

My family came down to visit for Labor Day. They got a late start, so they were planning on getting in on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday night. Fine by me, since it gave me a chance to do some errands.

So, Saturday morning, I go over to Home Depot to pick up one thing: some Loctite (thread locker -- it's like Crazy Glue to keep nuts and bolts from coming apart). It's a Saturday morning, so naturally the parking lot is crowded. I'm cruising around, when suddenly I turn a corner and see a spot. I'm at a bad angle and the SUV next to it is a little close, but it shouldn't be a problem. I turn in quickly. Too quickly.

You can see where this is headed.

There's a mild jolt, a not-unfamiliar rubbing/squeaking sound, and then a scraping sensation. I bail out of the attempt and quickly park in a nearby, heretofore unseen (argh) other open parking spot, and survey the damage. There's a 3-inch scrape on the fender by the door joint, 2 smaller nicks on the door and fender, and a big rubbery rub mark on the door.

I looked on the SUV; there were some small scratches on the rubber part of the bumper, and I left some paint on the chrome part of the bumper, but it was otherwise okay. Naturally.

So, I had a few more errands -- to the craft store to pick up some brushes, and then to the auto parts store to get some solvent and primer. Then, I spent the rest of the afternoon scraping off rubber bumper bits (you can see a long crease, but the paint is still intact), then inexpertly applying touchup paint to the scratches, which I am now letting dry for a week before I go to sand down the ugliness of scar-like globs of paint now there.

Lessons Learned

Propel "fitness water" (a flavored water drink made by Gatorade) comes in a fairly interesting bottle that features a twist valve in the cap:

The twist valve was implemented across a lot of Gatorade products because of user feedback (and as everyone knows, focus groups are never wrong), though in practice, it's hard to get out sufficient water without applying significant suction (since there's no way for air to get in).

The twist cap is also prone to leakage, which is important to consider if you reuse the bottle and say, put in your gym bag, which sits in the trunk over a long hot weekend, and as a result, causes your workout bag, clothes, pads, gloves and shoes to smell like sour milk.

Pulled a Chuck Knoblauch

I cost our kickball team the game last night -- we tied, when we should have won.

We were up 2-0 early on. I was playing first base, with a runner on first. The kicker bunts, and Harry, team captain and pitcher, scoops it up and tosses it to me. I make the catch, but the first base ref calls it safe because he says my foot wasn't on the base.

Now, "pulling a Chuck Knoblauch" goes back to game 2 of the 1998 ALCS, when first baseman Chuck Knoblauch of the Yankees was so busy arguing a call at first that he ignored the ball, allowing the go-ahead run to score.

Well, I'm arguing the call with the ump, and meanwhile, the runners are scooting around the bases. By the time I realize what all the yelling is about and get the ball back to Harry to kill the play, they scored one run and the kicker has advanced to third and ends up scoring on the next play.

Oh, and the only reason I know about the Chuck Knoblauch play was I was writing a sports news promo for AOL.com back in 1998, and I used the headline "Dispute the Call...But Play the Ball."