Thursday, November 30, 2006

Farewell, English: We Can't Hardly Knew You

Saw this linguistic gem in a Digg item today:
"A Gears of War site member was commenting on while the single player game was fantastic all be it short, the multiplayer was filled with bugs and other shortcomings."
One does not go to Digg looking pristine spelling, flawless punctuation, or rational discussion, but albeit is NOT 3 FUCKING WORDS.

Not for about 600 years, anyway (and don't try to pretend you were trying to use Middle English).

Look, I've have plenty of words I still have trouble with. I always have to double-check "misspell," I have been known to switch "peek" with "peak", and I even occassionally (well, rarely) fall into the "you're/your" pit.

(Similarly, I remember the first time I tried pronouncing "bourgeois" -- I was in high school, and I didn't know any French pronunciation rules. It was up there with the "Dom Perig-non" moment from 'Misery.' I still cringe a little bit.)

But some things are just wrong, and you're on the damn computer -- just look it up if you're not sure.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Unabomber as Protoblogger

If it weren't for that whole anarcho-primitive, "living in a remote, cold-water mountain shack with no electricity" thing, it looks like Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski would have been a heck of a blogger archetype.

Witness, from an AP story about evidence from the Unabomber case (which was never officially released since he plead guilty):
"He wrote about everything. He wrote about what he had for lunch on May 5 of 1979, where he got the food, how he prepared it and what did it taste like," said retired FBI agent Max Noel, who helped lead the investigation.
Plus, he was insane, which in my experience, seems to help.

Monday, November 27, 2006

"I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food"

Seeing how my previous workplace fridge note entry was so beloved, here's another one from last Tuesday:

IMG_3541

BEWARE
One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich. They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich. Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else has handled?

From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work.

I know I will.

Karma will find you.
This was on one of the fridges in another, farther kitchen (ours doesn't have an icemaker).

On a related work-food note, here's another discovery I made last week:

If the opportunity to eat Sodexho's implementation of "pad thai" presents itself, I strongly suggest you refrain.

A Red-Letter Day for BoingBoing?

I shouldn't be amused by this, but I am: Here's a graphic illustration of why you should always, always check your content on the live site after you publish it. This includes after making any changes to published content:

Red text on boingboing due to an unclosed font tag
 Apparently, Cory Doctorow (or someone updating his entry on the Make-magazine edition Leatherman tool) forgot to close a font tag, so all the non-link text is red from that point on. It finally stops when it hits another font tag.

For most of us personal bloggers, unclosed tags, silly typos, broken links and the like are just a minor inconvenience. They make us look sloppy, but since we have relatively few readers (who probably know us personally, to boot), they should be willing to cut us some slack.

Then again, if you don't get many readers, it's a case for not annoying the ones you get, isn't it?

However, for the folks on the high side of the long tail (to say nothing of, say, the #2 blog in the Technorati Top 100), silly little mistakes like this just make you look bad (no matter what anyone says about the blogosphere norm of "publish, then correct").

Details matter, even if you don't have a anti-site dedicated to you.


(Yes, I know I shouldn't be using a table for this.)

Uncut Snatch for Stupid People

I was flipping through Parade Magazine this afternoon (I hadn't had any coffee yet and Parade has small words and lots of pictures), when I came across this two-page ad from the "World Reserve Monetary Exchange":

IMG_3573

Two pics, lazily stitched together.

It's an advertorial (note their microscopic "Advertisement" disclaimer) done up to look like a breathless, soft news puff piece about your chance to snatch up sheets of uncut currency from the "World Reserve Monetary Exchange". (You can see the "announcement" on their site.)

How much? Fiddy-nine bucks, plus shipping. It includes a "rich Angus grain cover."

Now, at the Bureau of Printing and Engraving Store (which, as it happens, is where they get the currency), a sheet of 4 uncut one-dollar bills goes for $15-fiddy (shipping and handling included).

So you're paying upwards of 44 smackers for that rich Angus grain cover (note that the word leather is never actually used).

The Roanoke Times has an article about from last year (I found it by doing a search on "angus grain"): "Money for nothin'? Better read the fine print."

It goes over the essentials -- what they do is simply marketing to stupid people, and their fine print disclaimer ("the world reserve monetary exchange is not affiliated with the united states or any government agency") probably gives them legal cover.

Note that I couldn't find a similar disclaimer on their Web site. I did, however, find this gem of a paragraph on their terms and conditions page:
Any communication besides financial information that you transmit to Universal Syndications, Inc. over the website by electronic mail or otherwise, including any data, questions, comments, suggestions, or the like is, and will be treated, at the discretion of Universal Syndications, Inc., as non-confidential and non-proprietary. Universal Syndications, Inc. may, at its discretion, use this communication or information contained therein for any purpose, including, but not limited to, reproduction, disclosure, transmission, publication, broadcast and posting. Subject to our confidentiality policies, Universal Syndications, Inc. is free to use any ideas, concepts, knowledge, or techniques contained in any communication that you send to the website for any purpose including, but not limited to, developing, manufacturing and marketing products or services using such information.
Look, if people want to pay out the nose for this kind of crap (and they will, especially Parade readers -- look at the Franklin Mint, et al.), that's one thing.

But in my opinion, this is a questionable business practice (some might even say, slimy), and in a less-imperfect world, they'd be getting a visit from these folks:

IMG_3337

US Treasury Bureau of Engraving and Printing Police SUV

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving Dinner in a Bowl

Here's what I had for Thanksgiving dinner:

IMG_3570
Now that's good noodle.

I'd left Virginia just before 8 on Thursday morning. It was a little later start than I wanted, but considering that I'd gotten in at 1:30am the night before (after the Beach Shack's "pulling up stakes for Falls Church" party), it was probably for the best.

It was spitting down rain most of the drive up, but nothing too bad. There was some brief slowness in Delaware (as expected), but the worst part was two big slowdowns at the New Jersey Turnpike.

Still, it only took me four and half hours, all told.

Since Mom is in Taiwan right now, and my sister was with her fiancé's family, my Dad & I bagged on the traditional Thanksgiving dinner and trained in to Chinatown for some noodles at some of his usual spots.

As we were waiting on the station platform, there was a recorded message: "The scheduled 1:05 train has been canceled." We headed back to the car to go home to wait an hour for the next one, when the train pulled into the station. Guess you can't believe everything you hear.

We got to the World Trade Center PATH and walked to Chinatown. It was raining just enough to be annoying.

There have a few Calder stabiles around City Hall Park:

IMG_3567

The brightest spot of color on a gray day.

Here's a pedestrian marker in the sidewalk near City Hall:

IMG_3568

And, this is some sort of Herve Villechaize-meme sticker thing at the playground in Chinatown:

IMG_3569

Look, boss: De rain! De rain!

So, we went to the noodle shop and had seafood noodle soup, which hit the spot on a cold, rainy day.

Then we went to a few other shops (everything like clockwork -- my parents hit the same spots so regularly, there's practically a groove in the sidewalk), then headed back for home. (It was too nasty out to do much other walking around.)

So it was a good Thanksgiving, just me and my dad:

IMG_3571


Thursday, November 23, 2006

Playing "Name That Fark!" and Metacommentology

I'm not sure how many years I've been reading Fark. I've had an account since 2003. (Still haven't made it to a meet.)

Over time, you get to know the flavor of a place. In my experience with Fark, it's all about the snarks, puns and pop-culture references that'll pop up in a comments thread.

Fark's a fairly diverse group when it comes to experience, interests and knowledge, though it's probably overrepresented slightly by folks of my generation (which would be defined by that still-hateful term, Gen-X). So we're drawing pretty closely from the same pop culture collective intelligence.

Sometimes, when a story is posted, it will immediately call to my mind a specific, and usually pop, cultural reference. (This, of course, excludes headlines that are written to specifically evoke a particular pop culture reference.)

In these cases, I'll play a game when I go into that comments thread. I call it Name That Fark!

Obviously, it's based on Name That Tune -- I try to guess how many comments it'll be before someone posts a reference to what's inhabiting my mind.

For example, one of the main page headlines right now is "When I think of 'two-handed weapon combinations,' the first things that pop to my mind are not 'golf club and a sword.'"

(The article it references is in the Costa Mesa Daily Pilot, though for our purposes, this is immaterial.)

Naturally (well, it's natural if you're me), the first thing that came to my mind was Casey Jones, from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic.

It's a fairly obvious connection (again, if you're me), so I give it a 10: we'll see a Casey reference within ten comments.

Lo and behold -- 7 comments in:
2006-11-23 08:41:24 PM Thenixon [TotalFark]

www.ninjazelve.com
this guy thinks it sounds ok.

7 is within 10. Therefore, I win.

So what to do with this little bit of applied metacommentology? Well, nothing: It'd be too easy to game, and, anyway, I wouldn't know where to begin building an app around it.

But it keeps me amused.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

3 Hard-Learned Lessons From the Dulles Toll Road

In the spirit of holiday travel (Which I am avoiding until tomorrow morning. Early. Ugh.), here are three hard-learned lessons from driving on the Dulles Toll Road:

1. The posted speed limit approaching and leaving the main toll plaza at the Beltway is 35 mph.

Even though adhering to the letter of the law may be nigh-suicidal (especially in the E-Z Pass only lanes), failure to comply, or at least failure to stay under 55mph (20 over the posted speed limit) could lead to a reckless driving citation.

2. If you're heading west from I-66 and, perchance, happen to get on the Dulles Airport Access Road instead of the Dulles Toll Road, you should just take your lumps, head out to the airport and turn around, obeying all traffic laws and maintaining a moderate speed.

This is especially true if you're driving at 2am and there's no one else on the road.

If do you find that you missed the turnoff and are on the airport access road, under no circumstances should you try driving in reverse all the way back to the split.

This goes double if you're 3 football fields past the turnoff, like that moron I saw last night while I was coming back from Arlington.

3. Heading inbound during the morning rush, and thinking of going to Dulles, just so you can turn around and take the access road eastbound?

Ever notice a line of cars pulled over on the eastbound access road, surrounded by traffic cones and police cars?

They keep track of the license plates of the cars which do this.

Now, I didn't say that these were necessarily going to be my hard learned lessons: I've only done the firsthand learning on one of these three things. I got the scoop on the other two from folks I know.

Happy traveling.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

More Wacky Vaginia High School Hijinks

Looks like Washington Lee High School in Arlington (which is in virginia) can't catch a break this week:

From NBC 4:
ARLINGTON, Va. -- Police in Arlington County, Va., have arrested a 35-year-old school security guard accused of having sex with a 16-year-old student.

Police said officers answered a call for two people having sex in a car in the parking lot of the Walter Reed Community Center on Nov. 15. When they located the car, officers determined the girl was a 16-year-old student in the Arlington County school system.

Police said the man in the car was a security guard at the Washington and Lee High School.
I'm thinking of turning this blog into the Arlington public high schools news blotter.

Boy, wouldn't that be exciting.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Finding Vaginia in the Arlington Public Schools

This afternoon, a fiend and cow-orker sent me a link: www.washlee.arlington.k12.va.us

It's the home page of Washington Lee High School, in Arlington. No big deal, right?

Washington Lee High School Web Page screenshot

Okay, so it's Sandra Bullock's alma mater. I figured I was missing something, so I took a closer look:

Closeup of Washington Lee High School Web Page
Oh my.

Ah, there it is.

Still don't see it? Here it is in red:

Closeup of Washington Lee High School Web Page
A nice big, red...

For the colorblind, the bottom of the crest says arlington vaginia

It's sophomoric. Stupid. And very, very funny.

According to my friend, a buddy of his had worked at the school, was checking out the site, and happened to catch the vaginia.

I think I was looking at the page as they were fixing it, since the vaginia graphic wasn't showing up until you rolled over it.

It's since been fixed, though you can see the lettering is a bit off right now. It's squashed. Tight, even:

Crest fixed
There's nothing worse than a sloppy Virginia.

However, I don't think they've gotten around to fixing the footer image yet:

Washington Lee High School Footer

The most recent Google cached version of the page is from Nov. 16, and says "The NEW and IMPROVED Washington-Lee website is ready for its debut," so you figure (or hope, for their sake) that it just went live today.

As to how it got published? Three possibilities:

  1. Deliberate Defacement by an outside hacker/cracker or someone with inside access.

  2. Accidental Defacement, most likely a test or joke image inadvertently published to production.

  3. Complete Illiteracy: Someone who really doesn't know how to spell "Virginia." I'm envisioning somone with a wicked Bahhstahn accent trying to spell it phonetically.

Anyway, like I said, stupid, sophomoric, and funny.

Naturally, you only have my word that this isn't a Photoshop job, but it's a heck of a long and pointless way to go for such a cheap laugh. Those of you who know me know I'm far too lazy for that.

Sins of Omission and Georgetown's "24-Year Winning Streak"

The guys who used to torment me in middle school were Big East fans, so I've always nursed a little anti-Big East grudge when basketball season rolls around.

Plus, when it comes to college basketball, I like watching finesse play versus a lot of banging around. I know it hasn't really been true for a while, but in my mind, the Big East will always be a really physical conference.

This is because of their reputation in the late 80s and early 90s for rough play (coupled with that stupid 6 fouls rules experiment, which only hurt them in nonconference and postseason games).

Anyway, I saw the Post item today:
Hoyas Fall to Old Dominion
Upset Ends 24-Year Winning Streak at McDonough Arena: Old Dominion 75, Georgetown 62


Now, if you're an incautious reader who's not that familiar with Georgetown, you might walk away from the article with the impression that they had a 24-year home winning streak, which would be a heck of a job, Brownie.

This, I cannot abide.

What the article fails to mention is that Georgetown plays most of its home games off-campus: at the Verizon (formerly MCI) Center (and before that, at the Capital Centre/US Air Arena).

Anyway, they lost to Old Dominion yesterday, 75-62, which made me smile.

Call me petty, I don't care.

Summary of the Week's Entertainment (Which Is to Say, a Drinking Report)

Tuesday: Ri Ra in Arlington. It was apparently trivia night, with singing. Also, there was money being stuffed into shirts, but the parties involved have no memory of this (and there were no pictures -- more's the pity):

IMG_3515
Shots. How out of character.

Wednesday: K Street Lounge in DC, for the paidcontent.org networking mixer.

I got there a bit late, so the crowd had thinned out. Even so, I didn't do so good with the networking -- the only business card I parted with went into the fishbowl at the sign-in, and I pretty much only talked to people I knew from work (which is not to say that they were all still with the company).

One notable exception was a guy from 'Congressional Quarterly' -- I'm concerned that he actually believes that I thought CQ was a men's fashion publication.

In his post-event writeup, Rafat Ali notes that the BET Hip-Hop Awards afterparty was scheduled to start right after the mixer, which explains:
* Why the crowd's demographics shifted from lily-white to jet black abruptly at 9pm.

* Why I saw incoming guests being wanded with a metal detector as I was leaving.
I stopped in to Galaxy Hut on the way back; sat at the bar and was chatting up the woman sitting next to me. I thought we were getting along famously. We did hit a lull in the conversation, though that ended when we were joined by her boyfriend of 5 years, whom she had neglected to mention until that point.

I admit, I'm not always the most observant person in the world when it comes to these kinds of things, but I'm pretty sure I would have picked up on that little tidbit.

Now, I will have to object if anyone tries to characterize it as a rescue -- I'm not one for the hard sell (if anything, I have a well-documented incompetence for that sort of thing), but who knows.

Also, "my" painting by artist Ben Claassen III is no longer there. I'm assuming it was sold.

Thursday: Clyde's of Reston (where I picked up that lovely violation sticker) for a meeting with the lads. Made an early night of it, so nothing much to tell there, except I had a much-needed buffalo burger, which hit the spot.

Friday: Clare and Don's Beach Shack in Arlington, for one last go before they move to Falls Church.

We didn't end up staying all that long; the karaoke was not up to the high standards we've come to expect.

We ended up at Ri Ra again:

IMG_3529
Mrs. Elvis and Mr. Elvis

Are you familiar with the bar prank where you tell someone to place their index fingers on the bar, and set a full drink down on them?

Mrs. Elvis was not:

IMG_3531

It was loud and crowded, though in a way different from your Grill, Mr. Days or Ballroom.

See the other two photos in the Flickr set for more shenanigans, both real and notional.

Saturday: Tallula, for Melissa's going-away party.

I had not been to Tallula before, and had been a little wary for it's whole "wine bar" thing (even though I know it's not a wine bar). I'd never been there when it was Whitey's, either.

Unexpectedly, I also ran into Pat and Mike (unexpectedly, because they are rough and uncultured types, with thick necks, rough hands and dull wits), so I hung with them and their friends, as well.

There was a fine beer selection and plenty of space in the back, as well as a good number of unencumbered females in the main bar (nothing untoward happened that evening, unfortunately), so I shall have to add it in to the regular rotation.

Summary: Since driving home and going to work the next day are typically involved, moderation is the name of the game for weeknights out. Still, even by those standards, 5 nights out in a week is not something I regularly do. But it's more about the company than the beverages.

When Did Washing Machines Get So Complisticated?

I was determined to buy a new washing machine today. First, I went to my local library and read up on washing machines in the relevant issue of 'Consumer Reports'.

(I also borrowed 3 books, which I hope to actually read this time.)

Then, I went to the local Best Buy. There's a Frigidaire washer/dryer combo being advertised this week for $999, so I'm leaning towards it for simplicity's sake. But there are a few LGs that are kind of interesting.

So, I didn't end up buying. I did a little more research, and later found a forum for those folks who are pretty hardcore about laundry.

These are the kinds of folks who really care about internal heaters and profile wash settings, would actually pay $2,000 for a laundry center, and do 7-10 loads of laundry in a week.

I don't do 7-10 loads of laundry in a month.

And when did washing machines and dryers get computerized? My now-dead washing machine (a Montgomery Ward model, and they went out of business a while ago) has a one-way analog dial, and like, 3 settings. But it worked. Until it didn't.

Anyway, I think I'm overcomplicating things -- I just don't want to have to buy another durable good for a while. Then, taking delivery this week might not be the most convenient thing. I'll probably take some dirty laundry home with me for Thanksgiving.

After the shopping, I stopped into Barnes & Noble. I ended up reading most of 'World War Z' while standing up. (You can get the Cliff Notes version on Wikipedia.)

It's a pretty interesting read, though I was also procrastinating, since it was instead of going to the gym. Project: Fit in Tuxedo hasn't been going so well, especially if you include the 2 pizza lunches last week.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I'm Spoiled

I had two run-ins with spoilers this week that I would have preferred to avoid.

The first happened during morning drive time Monday or Tuesday. One of the Sports Junkies gave away the ending of the Scorsese movie 'The Departed' (specifically, who dies at the end).

I know the movie came out six weeks ago, and that it was a remake of 'Infernal Affairs' from 2002, but you're still a dickhead.

The second one was more my own fault -- I was reading a Fark thread about some lame The Top 10 Movie Spaceships article.

As usually happens in sci-fi threads, various other shows came up and were discussed, and I stumbled upon a fairly significant plot point from season 3 of Battlestar Galactica.

I still haven't seen any episodes -- they're piling up on VHS. In theory. At this point, I'm not sure which tapes have which episodes, and I may just need to wait until they start over in repeats.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Blogging for 2 Branches of Government and Assorted Beltway Bandits

This is glaringly obvious, but one of the more interesting things about blogging in the DC area is that, just by participating in the local blogging community (even for a dilettante such as myself), means the potential for getting a bunch of hits from a lot of interesting government domains.

For example, from having a blog entry featured on dcblogs.com last weekend, I saw referrers* from:
* house.gov
* fanniemae.com (okay, it's quasi-governmental. But my Irish friends always blush or blanche when I say "fannie", so I work it in wherever possible.)
* doe.gov (Department of Energy)
* census.gov (Bureau of the Census)
* voa.gov (Voice of America)
* treas.gov (Executive Office of Asset Forfeiture)
* dhs.gov (Dept. of Homeland Security)
* eop.gov (FEMA -- apparently EOP is Executive Office of the President or some such)
* Department Of Veterans Affairs
* ita.doc.gov (Dept of Commerce, Int'l Trade Admin)
* nasa.gov
* fed.us (USDA Office of Operations)
* Dept. of Labor OSHA
* Dept. of Health & Human Services
* FAA
This is in addition to your usual gaggle of defense contractors, think tanks, lobbying groups, non-profits, and other Beltway bandits whom I recognize from a past life.

What does it all mean? I'm not a political blogger, so it goes more to geography (which, let's not forget, still matters) than anything else.

It also means that, if your blog entry gets featured on the DCBlogs feed or main page (to say nothing of, say, DCist, The Express or [shudder] Wonkette), you'll get a lot of attention from the Executive and Legislative branches of government (the Supreme Court is noted by its absence, at least in my case), and a lot of eyeballs looking at your stupid blog entry about lunch thieves.

*This is just a list of domains; I didn't copy IP numbers, so no one needs to get subpoena my records or black-bag my house or anything.