Thursday, December 30, 2004

Tongue Action

It must have started fairly recently, but lately I've noticed that when I'm concentrating on something, I stick my tongue out and bite down on it.

It looks really stupid.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Spammers Win

Okay, I give up. From now on, instead of "" getting into my mailbox, there are only 6 magic words that will work. This is after I couldn't even open my inbox because it was so jammed full, after not checking my mail for 2 days.

I just hope I didn't forget anything important.

After my workout at the gym this morning (I went to see if I could remember how to do stuff. Like how to open my lock. Good thing I kept the combination sticker. It's practice for next week, when I join the New Year's resolution crowd. Shoulder still hurts but the close-grip variants should work okay.), I threw my towel into the trash, instead of the bin.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Things That Happen When I Let My Hair Go Long

* It takes much longer to shower. I actually have to blow-dry my hair
* I have to clean my glasses many more times per day
* Hair on the floor. Everywhere
* Most distressingly, I keep getting mistaken for a woman

Monday, December 13, 2004

Events Have Caught Up to Me

My domain is set up so that any mail sent to the domain forwards to my inbox. This used to be a good thing...until spammers started throwing the dictionary at us.

Unfortunately, I've used a bunch of different reply-to addresses (some of which I've lost track of), so that setting up rules to allow them would be a hassle. I suppose I'll have to try to clean things up.

Anyway, I'd had my SpamAssassin set to mark spam as deleted and move it to a junkmail folder, where I could review it before deleting it. (Not that I ever did.)

Sunday, I had over 20,000 messages in my junkmail folder. Every time I tried to expunge the folder, PINE crapped out. I ended up having to delete the folder.

Needles to say [sic], spam goes into the ether now.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


I had a dream last night. It featured much of the principle cast of Terminator 2 & 3.

Details are hazy (as they are wont to be). I believe we had defeated whatever antagonists we were facing, and were setting upon the laborious task of labelling all the furniture for a tag sale.

Also, at one point, I distinctly remember giving the lovely Kristanna Loken (the female terminator from T-3) a hickey.

I rolled over, looked at the clock. It was noon.

I had forgot to set the alarm last night.

I didn't roll in to work until 1pm.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Serpico Vertigo

I have the chorus of U2's 'Vertigo' running through my head.

Only the word "vertigo" has been replaced by "Serpico."

Friday, November 19, 2004

Hot Water

Coffee makers work better when you put coffee in them.

Friday, November 12, 2004


There's a travel mug of cold coffee and 4 almost-overripe bananas sitting on my kitchen counter right now.

Needless to say, I'm in the office.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

A Hideous Confluence of Pineapples and Meatloaf

I bought a pineapple the other day. (On sale.) I got around to cutting it up last night. Most of it went into a container, but I had a little left over, so I decided to put it in the Braun hand blender I have (but never use).

I was expecting "chopped" or "shredded," but got something the wrong side of "pureed." No matter. I was making a turkey meatloaf, so decided to mix some in there to see what would happen.

Actually, it wasn't supposed to be a turkey meatloaf -- it's just when I mixed the mush into the mass of meat, it got really...runny. Even with the judicious application of breadcrumbs, so I plopped it into the loaf pyrex.

Now, there are recipes that incorporate pineapple into meatloaf (which I determined afterwards). Some claim to be quite good. This however, was not one of them.

After an hour in the over, the outside was burnt, the inside was an amorphous mush, and the smell was of rotten ass, suitable for immediate disposal.

In Case You Were Wondering, Spyware Is Bad

For G-d knows what reason, I was adjusting my MSIE 6.0 "security" settings (I have to use it for ork), and I must have hit "enable" on the wrong ActiveX setting, because all of a sudden my machine was hit by popups, redirects and browser bar programs -- all hitting at 2:59pm today.

After running AOL Spyware Protection, Ad-Aware and Spybot, I think things are back to nermal.

I just hope I restored the proper security setting.

Monday, November 08, 2004

The little differences.

My sister ran (and finished) the New York City Marathon on Sunday.

I sat on the couch and ate potato chips.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

A Stabby Start

This morning, I was looking at knife blade to check for rust. No rust. However, as I was resheathing the blade, I missed the sheath. I did not, however, miss my right hand, which was holding the sheath, so I managed to bury the tip into the side of my pinky.

That was definitely a waker-upper.

I made it to the bathroom, and a combination of direct pressure, cold water and steri-strips (a must for every well-stocked first aid kit) managed to staunch the flow. This allowed me to get to the serious work of scrubbing the blood spatter from the carpet.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Has CSI taught us nothing?

Went to Great Falls on Sunday to get a look at the leaves (just past peak color, but still nice), get out on a 70 plus degree October day, and avoid the bulk of Halloween trick-or-treat traffic.

I brought a fleece jacket along just in case. It turned out to be way too much; I spent half the walk trying to find a good place to stash it but ended up carrying it the entire time.

Also brought my digital camera along, took about 30 snaps along the way.

Just downloaded them and they looked kind of weird, in a fuzzy, soft focus kind of way.

I looked at the lens, and of course there's a nice big fingerprint on in it.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Kitchen Science

I keep buying packaged salad mixes, but for some reason, I never end up using them. So six weeks later, I have a bag of brown mush that I throw out.

This happens on a regular basis. Perhaps I should just save time and throw them directly into the trash after buying them.

Oh, and hi Kelli.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


I just realized that I said in my previous post: "The morale of this story" when I of course meant "The moral of this story."

Also, I keep losing my gum containers. Starbucks after-coffee gum comes in a conveniently-shaped tin, just the right size for a 5-stick pack of your typical sugarless bubble gum. It's ridiculously overpriced, of course, but the tins are nice.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Something About Corey

The last time I locked myself out of my house, I was heading out to pick up Corey at the airport. I salvaged that by getting Pauly to take me to an undisclosed location to get a spare key.

So, Saturday was Corey's wedding. I was an usher, so I wanted to be there at 3pm (4pm wedding). I left the house about 2:20pm, so I was in pretty good shape.

Except I didn't have my keys.

Which I realized 2 seconds after the door clicked shut.

I called Pauly to bail me out. Let's see, 10 minutes to get to my place, 15 minutes to the undisclosed location, 5 minutes inside, 15 minutes back...with traffic, it was going to be iffy.

I didn't have anything to lose, so I pulled a plastic card from my wallet and tried to jimmy the lock open.

Whaddya worked.

The morale of this story? Always use your deadbolt.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

It Is Called a Moonroof, After All

New variation on an old favorite: Left the moonroof of my car open overnight.

Fortunately, it did not rain.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

I See Dead People

Misspelled "cemetery" (added an ary) in a promo; it had been up a few days.

Also, I always have to think for a few moments when try to spell "misspell," though if I get it wrong I can always claim I was being ironic.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Posited: Malls Engender Dumbness

Went to the mall for lunch and a shoe shine. After coming in out of the sun, I put my clip-on sunglasses in my front pocket. Later, I kneeled over to tie my shoe, which bent the sunglasses pretty good.

I bent them back, but between metal fatigue and the fact that I keep dropping them, I don't expect them to survive for much longer.

Also, as I got into my car to leave, I noticed some unusually high ambient noise and other external sounds, not normally heard inside a closed car. Upon a brief but throrough investigation, I discovered the source of the sounds was the fully-open passenger-side window, which I had rolled down because of the unseasonably high temperatures today.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


We were soundly thrashed in kickball last night by the league champions. They had a good (but not overpowering) offense, decent defense, and phenomenal pitching -- fast, hard, with a lot of spin.

In my sole at-bat, I got out on fouls (four foul balls is an out). In and of itself, that's not that dumb, but for the fact that, of the four times I touched the ball, only one of those touches was intentional.

One pitch just hit my leg, which was good, because otherwise I would have struck out.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Skip Rope

Apparently, the arm motions from jumping rope also exacerbate the shoulder thing.

Monday, September 20, 2004

WASD is making me SAD

My left shoulder has been bugging me for a while now. I switched mouse hands, which usually does the trick, but not this time. I figured out it's probably from FPS gaming (W-A-S-D keys to move). I should probably stop for a while (I'm not very good, anyway), but it keeps sneaking in.

Road Killer

Lately, I seem to be running over every small dead mammal on the road.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Vodka, Triple Sec, Rose's Lime, Gum

Was at Carpool in Arlington to celebrate my friend Pat's birthday. Shots were had, as tends to happen on a birthday. A group of us were having kamikaze shots. I forgot to properly secure my gum, and swallowed it.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

I Must Have Been Dreaming

Bought "The Dreamers" on DVD (used). Didn't see until afterwards that it was the R version, not the original NC-17 version.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Almost a Very, Very, Very Bad Night

Tuesday was kickball night. Got to the field with the usual accoutrements: bug spray, cell phone, water bottle, cleats. Oh, and keys, of course. Met up with the team at an open space by the fields, where we got our t-shirts (4 weeks late) and started warming up.

The game was about to start, so I gathered up my stuff and moved over to our spot. As I was walking, noticed my keychain looked a little odd.

Now, I carry a lot of stuff on my keychain: keys, Arc AAA flashlight, mini-Swiss Army Knife, Spyderco Ladybug, etc.

Traser GlowringI also have a Traser Glowring, which is a nifty little tritium device that will glow in the dark for 10 years straight, and is especially useful if you, say, drop your keys in the grass as it's starting to get dark.

They come in different colors. They're also a little hard to get in the US, because of the, um, Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Anyway, I use a small carabiner to keep it all together, which usually works great, because I can clip it to the edge of my pocket (or my shorts, if I don't have any pockets.) It also makes it easy to take things off and switch things around. I have my car keys and remote on a separate ring, so they can come off together.

Here's the biner (life size): mini biner

As I continue looking at my keychain, I see that my car keys aren't on the biner.

That is very, very, very bad.

Especially since I've been running around in a field.

Oh, and the handy glow-in-the-dark glowring is on the part of the keychain that isn't lost.

I start retracing my steps, but the game is about to start.

I spend the next few innings worrying, trying to play, and scurrying around searching, asking people to look out for my keys, when I'm not at bat.

Eventually, word gets back to us that someone's found some Mazda keys.

And we won the game.

*Squeak* *Squeak* *Scrape* Shit.

My family came down to visit for Labor Day. They got a late start, so they were planning on getting in on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday night. Fine by me, since it gave me a chance to do some errands.

So, Saturday morning, I go over to Home Depot to pick up one thing: some Loctite (thread locker -- it's like Crazy Glue to keep nuts and bolts from coming apart). It's a Saturday morning, so naturally the parking lot is crowded. I'm cruising around, when suddenly I turn a corner and see a spot. I'm at a bad angle and the SUV next to it is a little close, but it shouldn't be a problem. I turn in quickly. Too quickly.

You can see where this is headed.

There's a mild jolt, a not-unfamiliar rubbing/squeaking sound, and then a scraping sensation. I bail out of the attempt and quickly park in a nearby, heretofore unseen (argh) other open parking spot, and survey the damage. There's a 3-inch scrape on the fender by the door joint, 2 smaller nicks on the door and fender, and a big rubbery rub mark on the door.

I looked on the SUV; there were some small scratches on the rubber part of the bumper, and I left some paint on the chrome part of the bumper, but it was otherwise okay. Naturally.

So, I had a few more errands -- to the craft store to pick up some brushes, and then to the auto parts store to get some solvent and primer. Then, I spent the rest of the afternoon scraping off rubber bumper bits (you can see a long crease, but the paint is still intact), then inexpertly applying touchup paint to the scratches, which I am now letting dry for a week before I go to sand down the ugliness of scar-like globs of paint now there.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Lessons Learned

Propel "fitness water" (a flavored water drink made by Gatorade) comes in a fairly interesting bottle that features a twist valve in the cap:
Propel Fitness Water
The twist valve was implemented across a lot of Gatorade products because of user feedback (and as everyone knows, focus groups are never wrong), though in practice, it's hard to get out sufficient water without applying significant suction (since there's no way for air to get in).

The twist cap is also prone to leakage, which is important to consider if you reuse the bottle and say, put in your gym bag, which sits in the trunk over a long hot weekend, and as a result, causes your workout bag, clothes, pads, gloves and shoes to smell like sour milk.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Pulled a Chuck Knoblauch

I cost our kickball team the game last night -- we tied, when we should have won.

We were up 2-0 early on. I was playing first base, with a runner on first. The kicker bunts, and Harry, team captain and pitcher, scoops it up and tosses it to me. I make the catch, but the first base ref calls it safe because he says my foot wasn't on the base.

Now, "pulling a Chuck Knoblauch" goes back to game 2 of the 1998 ALCS, when first baseman Chuck Knoblauch of the Yankees was so busy arguing a call at first that he ignored the ball, allowing the go-ahead run to score.

Well, I'm arguing the call with the ump, and meanwhile, the runners are scooting around the bases. By the time I realize what all the yelling is about and get the ball back to Harry to kill the play, they scored one run and the kicker has advanced to third and ends up scoring on the next play.

Oh, and the only reason I know about the Chuck Knoblauch play was I was writing a sports news promo for back in 1998, and I used the headline "Dispute the Call...But Play the Ball."

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Helpful Household Hints

* When disposing of a sodden, chewed-out toothpick by crumbling it out of an open car window traveling at speed, there is a better than average chance that the shredded remains will re-enter the car and end up covering the back seat.

* If one discovers a puddle of coffee at the base of a brew-into-cup coffeemaker after each use, one should check to see that the coffee filter body is seated firmly in its enclosure before attempting to use it again.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Pizza Time

Came in from a night of liquid refreshment and needed a snack, so I took a slice of leftover pizza and put it in the oven.

I don't really recall what happened after that, but the next morning, there was a carbonized slice in a cold oven. Careful reconstruction of events indicates that I probably turned off the oven when the slice was mostly (but not quite) warmed and promptly forgot about it.

So I torched a slice, but at least I didn't burn my house down.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Washing Out

Got out insanely early from work yesterday (6:30ish) so I could skate on the W&OD trail since it was such a nice day. Went about 8 miles in an hour (285 calories), then went to the office gym and did the stairclimber for 20 minutes (180 calories), then jumped rope for about 7 minute (70 calories).

The dumb thing is, on the way home, I stopped by Baja Fresh. Despite the fact that I cooked healthy chicken dishes for the week on Sunday. Got a chicken Baja Burrito (800 calories). Ate half.

Including the accompanying chips, that pretty much negates my workout.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Oh Snap

Was fiddling with the antenna on my long-suffering phone to try to bend it back into shape.


An Outrageously Stupid Thing I'm Kinda Glad I Did

So last Friday, I went to Carpool to meet up with a friend, whose friend was guest bartending. Got there after they'd left, but that's a secondary issue. There were two staffers at the door carding people. I get out my wallet and go to pull out my driver's license when one of the bouncers waves me in, so I go in.

I'm inside looking around for someone I know, when it hits me: my license wasn't in it's usual slot. So I start looking through my wallet.

I don't have my license.

I spend the next two hours searching the car, driving around, retracing my steps. The sushi restaurant. The gym. The locker room. The other locker room where I showered because they were cleaning the first one. The office. Called Corey; maybe I left it in his car, or it was jolted out of my pocket during a particularly hard stop (clutching at straws here). No luck. Maybe some miscreant stole my license out of my wallet when I was in the shower (it's the one time I hadn't locked my locker because no one was left). Oh no, what if it's the cleaning staff, do I want to start making accusations?

Finally gave up and went to the Virginia DMV Web site to find out about getting a replacement license. Start getting anxious because they've put in new anti-fraud measures that require things like a passport (check) and original birth certificate (uh-oh). Decide to worry about it in the morning.

Driving home, start thinking about any other places I used my wallet (lots) or used my license (fewer). Let's see, work backwards: Thursday, didn't go out to DC. Wednesday was at Galaxy Hut, no, they know me. Tuesday at Vienna Inn -- that was with kickball folks, so didn't get carded. Monday...I don't think I went out Monday. Sunday...went tubing, didn't need my licen...wait a second. I went for a bike ride after getting back, and I usually pull my license out and stick it in my pocket so they can identify my body if I pull a wilson and get hit by a truck...nah, I couldn't...didn't I?

I find my shorts (swimsuit, actually) in the "to be washed" pile, and, yep, there's a plastic rectangle in the back pocket. Also eight soggy dollars in front. I guess I was distracted after my ride because of some guy in a van who was yelling something unintelligible at me through a bullhorn as he drove past me on my bike (and whom I saw 2 minutes later in the parking lot of my complex, hah).

So, it turns out that I've been going around for 5 days without proper ID. Good thing I didn't go into DC on Thursday with would have been a long, shameful trip back.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Tube Rash

On Sunday, went tubing on the Potomac, starting near Harper's Ferry. Great day for it, low 80s, dry. Only complaint is that I have friction burns on the insides of my forearms, from rubbing against the sides of the tube while paddling.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Phone Home

Went to Carpool last night. Friend of mine said a friend of his was guest bartending, but neither of them were there, which means I misheard them and they were actually over at Jimmy's. Oops.

Ran into some other folks though (kickballers and others), so I hung out with them. However, as I was leaving, I realized that I didn't have my phone. I'd been hanging out at a few tables, so I didn't bother looking for it since I figured it would turn up. Besides, it's of limited utility, since I ended up using Liquid Nails to glue the battery in permanently.

When I got home, I called and left myself a message; got a call a little while later from a guy who found it, which was cool. Except he also called Mom & Dad, so I got a call from them later on asking what was going on.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Orange Juice Is Not a Solid

Went on a bike ride a few weeks back; filled my water bottle with 1/4 orange juice, 3/4 water. Drank most of it, but not all of it. Forgot to clean it out. Checked it yesterday; there was a nice mold colony floating in it. I think it had achieved the use of primitive tools but not yet written language.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Pre-Empting Future Metro Dumbness

You can't eat on the Washington Metro (the subway, for everyone else). They're pretty anal about it, and have this bad habit of cuffing & arresting transgressors, like 12-year-old girls, etc. Anyway, they just did it again, and there's a Dumb Quote from the article (which I won't link to, due to Dumb Online Newspaper Registration):

"Chewing is eating."
-- Lisa Farbstein, Metro spokeswoman

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Diet Vanilla Coke Does Not Go With Apple

FYI: Do not introduce liquids into your Apple Pro Keyboard.

Digital Life vs. Real Life

If all has gone well, there is a package from Amazon on my doorstep that contains 3 seasons worth of Aqua Teen Hunger Force & Sealab: 2021. This is part of an ongoing trend where I am apparently sublimating all of my other desires into the purchase of DVDs. Said DVDs (both new and now used) are piling up at a rate where it is unlikely I will be able to view them all before the format is made obsolete.

Examples from the queue: The Dreamers, Bend It Like Beckham, Y Tu Mama Tambien, A Mighty Wind. I just knocked off Lost in Translation, which I liked a lot...a lot better than The Virgin Suicides, which fortunately I do not own.

And Best Buy has another 2 for $20 thing going on. Dammit.

Ooops, Sorry Jeffy

Repeat offender time -- an undocumented feature of the LG 5250 cellular phone is that, when sat upon, it will dial up a friend of yours who lives on the West Coast, providing an impromptu wakeup call when it happens at 9:30am ET.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Roll Up for the Magical Mystery Sun-Oof

Went to lunch with Corey today. It was relatively nice, so I had the sunroof open and the driver's window down. After parking, I was sure to remember to close the sunroof. So sure, in fact, that I neglected to roll up the completely open driver's window.

After a nice lunch, we came back to the car. I say the distinctive lack of glint on the completely open driver's window, and my first thought was: "Gee, I really hope there's broken glass all over the driver's seat because someone smashed my window in, because that would mean I'm a crime victim and not an idiot," but it was not to be.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Strawberry Taste Explosion

Picked up some Popeye's for dinner last night. 3 piece, with mashed potatoes, completed with strawberry soda.  As I was getting out of the car, I picked up the cup from the top, and the lid slipped, causing sticky strawberry soda to spew forth.  Icky.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Thunderbirds Are...Not Go

I write the content for a weekly alert that goes out to members, highlighting some of the new Buddy & SuperBuddy Icons. It's HTML, so I use Homesite. The format doesn't change much, so I clone the prior week's version and update the content. Only this time I forgot to change one of the destination URLs, and because of a deadline, didn't doublecheck all the links. So what should have been a link to Thunderbirds movie icons was instead a link to rapper Lloyd Banks & other hip-hop icons.

Flash Flush

Standing up from the toilet, I heard a clicking/clattering noise. Thought I saw something in the bottom of the bowl but I checked my pockets and everything seemed to be in order, so I figured it was my badge hitting something. Flush.

Then I remembered the pocketknife --a SOG Flash (the small one) -- clipped to my waistband on the right side. Formerly clipped.

In retrospect, I might not have fished it out, even if I had known -- the assisted opening feature was a little too gimmicky for me.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Getting Warmer, Warmer...Cold

Laundry this morning. In a rush to get it started by noon (arbitrary, self-imposed deadline), so I chucked in a load of colors and hit go. Except I neglected to check the temperature dial, which had been set to Warm from the last session.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

When "Yes" Means "No"

Responded to an Evite; "no," as it happens, since I was double-booked (my busy social engagement calendar and all that). Only I neglected to click the correct radio button.

I corrected my mistake after getting an e-mail reminder.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Taking a Dive

Kickball practice yesterday -- it was a bye week since playoffs are next week. (Oh, and hi to you BTA stalkers out there, add a comment or something already, geez.) Anyway, was playing left field and a fly ball went out to the gap. Don't ask me how there can be a gap with 4 outfielders and a left and right shortstop. I was in a bad position and had to lunge/dive for the ball. Hit the ground a little hard (and missed the catch), so my ribs hurt a bit. Which probably explains why I was dreaming that I got stabbed in the torso and had to go to Chicago's E.R.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Pop Tart

Put a Pop-Tart in my laptop bag/man purse the other day and promptly forgot about it. It was in the outside pocket, on the side closest to my body. I was putting something in the pocket this morning, and of course found a pocket full of crushed Pop-Tart.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Dumb Things Roundup

* While doing the last post, accidentally quit my browser, losing my data.

* Left the car unlocked overnight again.

* Had an open container of chopped cilantro drying in the fridge. (Actually, it's more like "drying out" in the fridge.) Knocked it over, sending green flakes everywhere.

* Met up at Pat's place to have a few beers before going to Dr. Dremo's to watch the fireworks. Left my cooler there.

* Have dropped my cell phone so many times, the piece that holds the battery in is cracked and near point of failure.

Dumb Things I Did in Las Vegas

* Gave my camera to someone while I was in Star Trek: The Experience so I could get my picture taken with a Borg. Forgot switch it back to autoflash mode first.

* Also realized that my camera had been on Long Shutter mode for a while, which is why a lot of my shots are blurry or overexposed.

* Paul & Michelle gave us wedding guest gift bags. I left mine at the Barbary Coast Casino

* Went back a day or two later looking for it. Didn't find it, but ended up losing 200 bucks at blackjack

* Didn't make it to any strip clubs or the submachine gun rental range.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Biting Your Lip Not Always Good

I bit the inside of my lower lip while doing pull-ups at the tail end of my workout this morning. So, now I have two little nicks that will invariably develop into canker sores that, if I'm lucky, will not merge into one megasore and have me eating and brushing my teeth gingerly for the next 8 days.

Just what I want to bring to Las Vegas.

Monday, June 21, 2004

This Just In...

Don't swing a metal chain around at eyebrow level if you don't want to put scratches in your glasses.

Ham Is Not Spam

When trying to train a Bayesian spam filter, one should learn the difference between typing "sa-learn --ham" and "sa-learn --spam"

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Wash and Go

On the drive to ork this morning, was stopped behind a school bus at a light. Had my travel mug in my right hand. There was some remnant of cicada guts on the windshield, so I blipped the windshield washers to clean it off (or at least smear it around into a more translucent paste). Except I was holding the coffee mug in my right hand, which is the side with the wiper controls. So I ended up flashing my brights at the school bus at the light.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Smartwater. Dumb Thing.

I use an empty smartwater bottle as my water bottle at work, because I like the design. Apparently, I left it in the kitchen to fill it up and forgot it.

This one is my fault, but that kitchen has become a gaping maw, stealing lunches and insulated lunchbags with impunity.

Virgingia Is for Lovers.

Paying some bills. Besides my usual subtraction errors (math is hard), I just put my state of residence as "Virgingia."

Oops, I Did It Again. Again.

Deleted my index.html page again. Again.

I am assuming it was more wacky hijinks involving the command line, a space, and/or a *

Friday, May 21, 2004

Safe at Second...But at What Cost?

Kickball game yesterday. Bunted to get on base. On the next play, I was heading to second -- they'd fielded the ball and it looked like it was going to be close, so I decided to slide. There was a nice, rough, bare patch right in front of the base.


Left Shin Raspberry

I probably would have made it staying vertical.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Falling Apart

Wednesday, left my shampoo in the locker room. It wasn't there the next time I looked.

I left my cell phone in an office bathroom last Thursday. I realized I'd left it there or at my desk. Security ended up calling "My House" and left me a message. It could have ended badly, since my friend Paul had locked himself out of his place and was trying to call me, but it all turned out okay.

Finally, I tweaked my upper back doing deadlifts yesterday.

Friday, May 07, 2004

Listen. Understand.

First kickball game was yesterday. We got trounced, but most of the team is new to post-elementary kickball, so no big deal. I flied out in my only at bat, also not a big deal.

The dumb thing was playing right center field, and running into the right shortstop while we were going for a fly ball. After he had called "I got it."

Also, we didn't make the play.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Losing Face

Went up to Baltimore on Saturday to watch the 2004 running of the Kinetic Sculpture Race. The weather was really nice -- sunny, breezy. Was out most of the day, following along on my skates. Unfortunately, I neglected to apply sunscreen, so my nose and forehead are a little fried right now.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

I Chose...Poorly

Attended a presentation by some Google folks on some stuff. They're an obscure Web outfit you probably haven't heard of. Anyway, at the refreshment table, there was an assortment of King Size candy bars. The usual Mars, Hershey, et al products were represented. I narrowed my choices down to Milky Way vs. Snickers.

I should have chosen the Snickers.

Still ate it, though.

Oops, I Did It Again

I moved my Platonic Friends site over to In the process, I yet again managed to overwrite my index.html file.

Thanks to a four-year-old backup and my near-eidetic memory, I was able to recreate it.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Tab A in Slot B

The mouse was frozen when I booted up my machine at ork this morning. It's a USB mouse with a serial adapter (silly thinkpad docking station at ork only has 1 USB port and I don't have a hub yet). Rebooted a few times, unplugged it and checked the adapter, swapped adapters, plugged it into the USB port (orked okay). Then, I took a closer look at the icons on the dock.

I'd been plugging the mouse into the keyboard port.

It orks okay now.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Artless Is a Whiner

But I added a HaloScan comments thingy anyway.

Oh wait, the basic version adds a text ad at the bottom of the comment window. Right now it's apparently running an ad by some barely literate right-wingers. So we'll see how long this lasts.

Just started looking at blosxom (what a bad, bad name), may switch over to that. Or not.

What Do You Do When You're Branded?

Made turkey burgers last night. Baked, so they're really just flat meatballs. Originally, my dumb thing was that I put the chopped onions and garlic in the meat without frying it up first, but it doesn't really matter. It also was overshadowed later when I was switching the baking trays from the top rack to the bottom rack; the top rack was out, and I ended up hitting it and grilling my arm:

I don't usually wear my watch on my right, but I wanted to show the scale. Just over an inch long, 1/4 inch wide.

Friday, April 16, 2004

Haircut 100

Hair kept flopping into my eyes so I went for a cut at lunch. Now I'm covered with loose hair.

Did I mention that I'm also wearing a white t-shirt? White-ish, anyway.

It's not a very good cut, either.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

When Did This Happen?

I'm eating a caesar salad. I just caught myself thinking, "Red onions would go pretty well with this."

The dumb part is that it took me three tries to spell "caesar" correctly.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Poor Judgment or Simple Dumbness?

Buying post-Easter candy:
* 2 bags of speckled peanut butter M&Ms
* 1 bag each of "Easter" Nerds and Gobstoppers
* 3 15-piece packages of Peeps

Umbrella Lesson

A large golf-style umbrella, when opened, will not fit through a standard doorway.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Archives Work Now. Such as They Are.

The archives work now. I gave up on trying to have them link to /blog/archives, so now they live in /blog.

Thanks to the person who e-mailed me a suggestion on the *.html extension; I hadn't noticed it was missing, though it didn't seem to be affecting anything.

Of course, I deleted your e-mail as I was despamming my account. Pam? Beatnik? Something.

Right Bag. Wrong Time.

Went to the gym at the office last night. It's in a building across the street, so I drove over (lazy, but it's so I go straight home afterwards, instead of being tempted to "finish up a few things" at my desk). I pulled my bag out of the car and went to the locker room.

I brought my laptop bag, not my gym bag.

This is not the first time that has happened.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

More Stupid Than Dumb

Still can't get the Archives links to work properly. Granted, there's not much to archive, but it's the principle of the thing.

The files are there (, but apparently I am not entering the correct value to get the hyperlinks to point in the right place.

If anyone has any advice, please mail me using the e-mail link to your right.

Chew Gum, Not Tongue.

Apparently, at some point over the past few days, I have chewed on my tongue (perhaps while missing my gum) or licked a Shards o' Glass pop, because my tongue is really sore.

I am fairly certain that no one else has been chewing on my tongue. More's the pity.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

April Fowl's Day

Reference the chicken drumsticks I made earlier in the week. I was heating them up in the office microwave and ready to take them back to my desk. Things started to get complicated, since I also had a takeout tray of salad and a cup of ice. I stack things and start to move. Due to this thing which I am told is called "inertia", the chicken started to slide. In an effort to hold this system of untethered objects together, I managed to pull it to my stomach -- in affect, halting the movement of the chicken with my shirt.

Attentive readers will note that the sauce on said chicken is a relatively thick, dark and oily sauce.

It was a nice shirt, too.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Call Me Any, Anytime

I keep forgetting my cell phone. The reason I'm forgetting it is that I can't put it in my back pocket anymore, as it tends to dial people when i sit down. Not horrible, unless it's 10 in the morning and the person it calls is in Seattle.

I guess it's time for a new phone.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Tastes Like Chicken

Made chicken last night; a package of drumsticks in my usual soy/oil/sugar sauce, stuffed with garlic cloves, and some cut up breast meat in a Trader Joe's marsala simmer sauce, to serve over rice for lunch at work today. Put each in a container and brought the chicken marsala/rice one to work.

So I'm having my late lunch, open the container -- it's a mess of drumsticks. I guess it's Atkins-friendly. It will work for a future lunch, but requires side dishes.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Discreet Discretion

Until fairly recently, I did not know that "discrete" and "discreet" were two separate words.

Discrete means "distinct or unconnected," as in separate: discrete definitions.

Discreet means "unobtrusive; able to keep things quiet," as in "MWM seeks same for discreet daytime play."

This knowledge came from a Craigslist personals flame to which I was an observer.

What'll Really Bake Your Noodle...

Galaxy Hut last night for Belgian beers, et al. Noticed a puddle on the table, so reached over to get a napkin to mop it up. In the process, I managed to jostle another beverage and cause a not-insignificant spill of my own. I believe this qualifies as irony.

Friday, March 19, 2004

March Insanity

I'm currently dead last in the office NCAA pool. This means that I am doing slightly better than random chance, and am barely edging out people who didn't get their brackets in on time.

Of course, I only spent about 5 minutes on the my bracket and there is no cash on the line. I also understand that my natural biases are to discount Big East teams and to favor ACC teams, which traditionally has not worked for me.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

That's Not Oatmeal. Wait, Yes It Is.

Apparently, I spilled some oatmeal juice on my pants leg this morning. It dries hard. So it appears I have been very sloppy and/or naughty.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Dude, Where's My Car?

Dropped my car off this morning at the shop near the office, then went straight into a 5 hour meeting that fried my brain. Went back to work, as usual. 6:45 comes around, and suddenly I realize that my car is still at the shop, which closes at 7. Find a cow-orker who's leaving, bum a ride, and make it with a few minutes to spare.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Technology Strikes Back

The lack of entries in a while doesn't indicate that I haven't done anything dumb lately. Just nothing particularly noteworthy. Having said that:
* I let the batteries in my Handspring Visor die again. Worse, it won't sync with my PC.
* I've been playing with JAlbum, which is a cool and free photo album generator. However, in uploading to my Web directory, I somehow managed to wipe out my index.html page. Not that there's a lot there.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Black and Decker Brew 'N Go Coffee Maker Operation

Brews directly into a travel mug. Water vapor/steam rises from the heated reservoir, hits the underside of the closed lid, condenses and drips through the coffee grounds/filter into the mug.

Works much better when the lid is closed.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Don't Panic

Unloading the car after a grocery run, about 10pm, handful of grocery bags, coffee mug, keys...bumped the panic button on my key remote. Not the first time it's happened.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Juiced My Back. Ow.

Worked out late last night. Legs and shoulders. While I was doing squats (pushing an embarassingly low weight), I leaned too far forward and felt an all-too-familiar twinge in my lower back. Actually, more than a twinge, less than a sharp jolt. It's happened before. Anyway, my back hurts now. Should be better in a few days.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Hooray for Syncing

I let the batteries die on my Palm, which wiped the onboard storage. Not really a problem, since I synced it this morning.

Except I'd just switched computers, and not all of the add-ons were copied over in the move.

Including a notepad enhancer with some important info.

There were a few tense moments before I could fix things.

My Calendar program still isn't syncing right, though.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Nearly Disastrous

I went to a Super Bowl™ watching party. Parking was kind of tight, so I ended up a spot on the street that was still snowy and iced in. As I was moving into position, my wheels started to spin, but I was able to park okay. I was worried I might not be able to get out, so I opened the hatch for my shovel, just in case.

No shovel.

I'd taken it out the last time I vacuumed the back.

I decided not to worry about it. When I left the party, I stopped in at the 7-11 for some suitable traction-enhancement media. I settled on croutons and Honey Nut Cheerios. I needed croutons anyway and I could always eat the Cheerios.

I got out of the spot without them, though.

Sunday, February 01, 2004


  • Turned on a burner instead of the oven, resulting in a slightly scorched oven mitt

  • Forgot about tupperware soaking in the sink at work
  • Friday, January 30, 2004

    Disposable Silverware

    Microwaved a Trader Joe's Vegan Pad Thai frozen meal replacement system for a snack. When I was done, I threw the empty plastic bowl in the garbage, along with the metal fork I'd used.

    I'd just changed the liner, so it wasn't a problem to retrieve the fork.

    Thursday, January 22, 2004

    Strictly Speaking, Not My Fault

    Had a long meeting today that included lunch. Standard Marriot catering deal, sandwiches and wraps. Took a chicken breast sandwich and dug in. It looked a bit soggy, but otherwise okay.

    That wasn't chicken.

    It was cheese. Big chunks of mozzarella.


    Wednesday, January 21, 2004

    I Sense a Trend Here

    Two things from last night:
    1. I forgot to lock my car again. I blame a bag of groceries from Trader Joe's.
    2. As mentioned, I made chili last night. I also made a simple side dish of asparagus and garlic in soy sauce, steamed in the microwave. Which is fine, except I forgot about it and left it in the microwave until this morning.

    Stay tuned for #2, Part 2, when I try to eat it.

    Tuesday, January 20, 2004

    Feels Like...Burning

    I'm making a chili right now. Turkey, with tomatoes, onions, black beans. The usual stuff. I also decided to add some red and green thai chilis, which have been drying in my kitchen for the past few months. I crumbled them up with my bare hands.

    My hands are now on fire.

    At least I didn't touch any sensitive areas or mucous membranes.

    Oddly enough, the chili doesn't taste particularly hot.

    Wednesday, January 14, 2004

    Oh, That Square Thing With the Buttons on My Keychain.

    Left my car unlocked overnight again. I keep forgetting that after opening the hatchback, I need to lock it again.

    Tuesday, January 13, 2004

    The Wrong Dot

    The reason I've been getting up late the past few mornings -- my alarm was set for PM times. Not AM. Which I am told indicates "mornings."

    Friday, January 09, 2004

    Thumb Sandwich

    Had a few cold ones last night. Didn't have much of a dinner, so I made a turkey ham sandwich. As I was chomping down, I bit down on my thumb. Hard. Didn't break the skin (caught most of it on my thumbnail), but it hurt a lot at the time. It's still sore.

    Wednesday, January 07, 2004


    Forgot about last Sunday: I got a call from my friend Corey, asking me to pick him up from Dulles Airport. No problem. Except as I was leaving the house, I forgot my car keys. No problem. Except my car keys were attached to my house keys. That's a problem.

    To make a mid-sized story short, my friend Paul drove over, we went and got Corey from the airport, and then went to an undisclosed location to get my spare key.

    Coffee 101

    This morning, I went to the coffeemaker (a Black and Decker brew-into-a-mug, hooked up to a timer) and realized that I'd forgotten to fill it with water last night.

    Monday, January 05, 2004

    Sniff, Sniff

    Last night, I was making a baking a bunch of meat-products for the week ahead. The meat-products included glazed drumsticks, meatloaf, and some turkey sausages (which went in last). I fell asleep, and was dreaming of steak when I woke up. Sniff, my neighbor making steak and eggs for breakfast? That's odd, I've never gotten kitchen smells from...uh-oh.

    So I had 7 carbonized turkey sausage links in a baking dish.